What to do when you can't get rid of your bad habits?

We all have bad habits, such as unhealthy diet, stay up late, impulse shopping and so on.

Now, please take a few seconds to think about the bad habits that annoy you the most, you know you should quit, but unable to quit and then, is it because you have too many temptations in life so that you can’t quit the bad habit?

This movie/The variety show/TV show is so interesting, and I can’t stop myself from keep on watching.

Or, for me, I bought a bunch of books before I finished one.

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Facing these temptations, if there is no strong reason for you to stop it, how will you persuade yourself not to accept the temptation? I believe most people will say to themselves: "I can't (go on like this)."

"I can't" eat McDonald's again ...
"I can't" watch another episode ...
"I can't" buy this anymore...

But did you notice that when you say to yourself, "I can’t," and "because ..." will always follow after “I can’t.”

I can't eat McDonald's again because it's unhealthy.

I can't watch another episode anymore because I have to work tomorrow.

I can't buy any more of these books because the books that are not read at home have already piled into mountains.

In fact, if you make a small, simple change, you can greatly improve your ability to resist temptation.
Very simple, just change your words, "I can’t" to "I don’t."

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The University of Houston has experimented, they found 120 participants, let them go through a series of experiments, but only the "resistance to sweets" is the one they really care about, the other part is only to make the subjects distracted. Half of the people were asked to use "I can't" to reject when they are facing temptation, and the other half use" I don't" to reject.

However, by changing the word, from "I can’t eat sweets" to "I don’t eat sweets," will it really have a great change?

The results of the experiment found that 39% of the people who use "I can’t" rejected the dessert, and 64% who use "I don’t" rejected the dessert.

Then they did another experiment, they invited 30 participants to a health program, the participants were required to follow a specific diet and exercise within a few days, and this time they were divided into three groups, one of the groups will use "I can't" when facing temptation, and another group would use "I don't”, and the last group has no special restrictions, anyway, just reject is OK, and act as a control group.

As a result, the group that use "I can't" did the worst, only 1 people were able to stick to the health plan every day, and the group that uses "I don't" had 8 people finished, and interestingly, the group that has no restriction had 3 people completed the plan.

In other words, using "I can't" actually has the opposite effect.

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The researchers reasoned that, mainly because of the difference between intrinsic motivation and extrinsic motivation, when you say "I can't do it," whether it's to yourself or others, you're sending a signal: "I was confined by some kind of external force. It's because of these external reasons that I can't do that."

"I'll have just one donut, and then I won't eat anymore."
"An episode is just an hour; I will just sleep one hour earlier tomorrow to make up the loss."

In the end, you finally convinced yourself. When you realized it, your efforts were wasted. So when you say, "I can't do this," What you really mean is, "help me find a reason to do this!"
"You're just waiting for a reason to convince yourself."

On the contrary, when you use "I don’t," "I don’t eat junk food, I don’t stay up late to watch another episode," it is very tough because there is no leeway to use the word, "I am this type of person." "This is essential, intrinsic motivation. "No other reason, that's it!"

The researchers also found in the feedback questionnaire, those who use "I don’t" succeed in refusing temptation are far more successful than those who use "I can’t," and also because of different motives, "I can’t" is being forced, because I am patient. And "I don’t" is to imply that I am a better person, "I am progressing."

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The researchers believe that if it is in the short term and has a strong external cause, it's like ... "I have to lose weight because I'm going to take a wedding photo in a couple of weeks, and I want to be in my best state." In this case, "I can't" can achieve good results because you have a strong extrinsic motivation.

But when this motive disappears, for example, after the wedding has ended, you will immediately relax, because your previous behavior is abnormal, is forced.

The use of "I don’t" to refuse the temptation can be sustained for a long time because it is intrinsic motivation.

So if you want to get rid of bad habits, but each time you reject the temptation, try not to say "I can't", try saying "I don't", perhaps you will be surprised by the effect of this simple change.

Research Source

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