How important is your boyfriend's background?

source

Have you ever been to your boyfriend's house?
As a girlfriend or a future daughter-in-law, the first time goes to boyfriend's house is definitely a challenge in life.

For me, looking for a boyfriend and looking for a job has the same process; go to your boyfriend's house, is just like going for an interview, just that the interviewers are different.

Calm your mind, don’t rush to express yourself, put your energy observing this family because they are also observing you.

When you are choosing a life partner, you are actually choosing the family. We are born with the combination of our family, on the same thing, there are different ways to present. Before getting into the marriage, take a serious look at this family, and see whether they have good chemistry with you.

source

See whether the family atmosphere is harmonious

The influence of family on one person is huge, not only in the way of life but also in every aspect.

A person from a loving family will not lack insecurity, which is why many people are unwilling to choose a single parent family.

Because of the lack of a certain kind of love from childhood, depression in the heart. After growing up, it will be released, manifested as suspicious, inferiority and so on.

Of course, this is not absolute. To a greater extent, it has to do with how you look at the issue.
Some child, it is because of seeing too much of their parents arguing, and know more about how to run a family because he has experienced what a bad family will impact on the children.

The way their parent treated each other

Here comes a cognitive question about marriage. For example, some families are men care for women, such as my neighbor, husband working outside, and the wife stay at home with the children. When the husband came back from work, he will do all kinds of housework. Even before going to work in the morning, he will also prepare breakfast for his family.

Some families, the husband do nothing at home, while the wife busy working outside. This is the perception of marriage, which is influenced by many factors, such as geography.

So, when you look at how your boyfriend's parents treat each other, look at how their relatives and friends are getting along. If there is too much difference in cognition, you need to reconsider whether to join this family.

On the other hand, the attitude of the boyfriend's father to the mother directly affects the attitude of your boyfriend towards you.

###Family disease history or genetic history
No matter what, health always comes first.
Although it is hard to determine whether the family had any disease, if possible, try to find out because although love is precious, health is more expensive.

source

Addicted to gambling and home violence

I've read an article that says that children who grow up in a violent family are more likely to have violence towards his family compared with children who grow up in a normal family.

The reason is that in deep down in the child's heart, he is more aware of the adverse effects of domestic violence, but with the guidance of the parent's wrong way to handle things, when encounter conflict or problems, he did not have a proper way to deal with the problem. In his family: The violent is always the solution.

The bottom line of choosing a life partner is that the man can not have quality defects, such as gambling, violence, drugs, and so on. This is the lowest bottom line.

Similarly, observe whether there are bad habits in the family, the environment and atmosphere of the family are really important. I believe that you don’t want to clean up the mess after your marriage, right?

Parents ' attitude towards their son

In my life, I often heard many parents say this: "I currently teaching my children a lot of life skills, such as cooking, so that when he has a wife, in case he got quarrel with his wife, even if there is nobody cook for him, at least he will cook himself and won’t get hungry. However, after he learned how to cook, hope he won’t cook for his wife, because cooking and housework, should be done by a woman. ”

Similarly, there are a lot of parents who have daughters said this too.

The sharing of housework is an additional effort, even if their daughter does a little bit more, their parents will feel that their children are suffering, if you met with this type of parents, you should be careful.

At this time, see how your boyfriend behaves at home. If he listen to his parents for everything, then he might be a mama’s boy. I advise you, you better leave him unless you want to be his mom.

If he knows how to take the responsibility of the family, willing to share with you even the small things, then as long as you do not live together with his parents, then it is still considered good enough.

source

Do their parents respect their children's opinions?

Your boyfriend status in the family is particularly important, does he have own opinion, does he listen to his parents, is his personality complete… You will know when you observe the interaction between his parents and your boyfriend when you visit them.

This is very important; it will directly relate to how he will deal with your relationship with his parents in the future.

If his parents are more respectful of their son's opinions, and more open-minded, if someday, you and his parents have a disagreement, he can make judgments independently, even if he shields you, his parents will understand.

Is his parent Patriarchy?

I disagree for a girl married to a patriarchal family, especially the boy’s mother put more attention on boys.

Just think, as a woman, even she doesn’t respect her own gender, will she respects you in the future will respect you? No.

Marriage or not, childbirth or not is your own choice and rights, no one can force you, even your biological parents can not force you, let alone his parent.

When the daughter-in-law doesn't want to have a baby, they will say: "You either give birth or get divorce." Usually, in such a family, the son will also act the same, patriarchal, he will put pressure on you with his parents."

When you meet such a family, leave as soon as you can.

PREVIOUS POST

If you feel tired, then you are doing it right because comfort is for the dead	Why I insist on getting up at 5:30 in the morning every day?
Did you become the person you hate after graduating?	Where does self-confidence come from?
If you taking things too hard, try to take a walk at the hospital	You failed at the "Wait till I have time"