Did you become the person you hate after graduating?

It is another year of graduation season. Looking at the juniors sharing their graduation photo on their social media, in the photos they looked so happy, throwing their graduation cap high to the sky. Youth should also have such ambition toward the sky.

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Last year, I also like them, with a lofty mentality, I wish to step on the mountains and the clouds.

On the graduation day, I got up early, the sun was hot, scorching heat, wearing a graduate's' dress with sweat. But I don’t care and continue taking photos with my classmates because I wish to store the people and scenery into photos so that I could memorial my lost youth.

I am happy because it is time to say goodbye to the university. Don’t have to stay up late for revision, don’t have to worry about the teacher's pop quiz, and also don't need to worry about attendance...
Everything is going to end, after “imprisoned” by the school life for more than ten years, finally got my freedom back.

But, in the grand hall, when the presidents announced our graduation, my eyes suddenly seemed to turn red, tears can't stop flowing down. All of the university-related memories suddenly appeared in my head. This four years of memory is too ponderous; I do not know how should I say goodbye, but also do not know how to witness the four years in university.

The graduation party is the most extravagant of all the gatherings we've had in four years. A grand farewell is necessary for this meaningful moments.

The men drink in full swing, toast after toast. Familiar, unfamiliar, good words or polite words, I treat them as sincere comments.

On a usual day, I don’t drink, but that day I did not refuse any glass of beer. Because I know, after this glass, we might not be able to see each other again.

After graduation, I left the city that I lived for four years; I didn’t meet most of the people, and the one who still in contacts become lesser and lesser.

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Now, look back at the class group chat records, the name that I always heard when taking attendance, I will have a feel unfamiliar, but that unfamiliar consists a bit of familiarity.

That guy who always sits next to me, he continued his master study, and busy with schoolwork; The tallest and strongest guy in the class went back to his hometown and did a cushy job; The most beautiful girl in the class, got married and got pregnant; The smartest guy in the class, work in a state-owned enterprise ...

And for me, I have forgotten things that I studied in university and started doing things I like, trying to become the person I wanted to be, in the intertwined of hope and disappointment, trying to survive in this city.

After graduating, I have been breaking and rebuilding myself. In my body, there are always two small men fighting; one is a variety of things blocking myself, the other one wanted to break the barrier. They fought fiercely, often tearing each other, but in the end, they found a conduit for peace. So, now I didn’t become the perfect person I wanted to be, and I also didn’t become the person that I hate.

In the past, I used to be anxious to achieve quick success. Study for few days then dream to get a good result; Treat other people well, so that I can receive the same... I'm too obsessed with the result, if it doesn’t reach the ideal state, I will then be frustrated for a long time. Maybe because I got disappointed too much, I finally learned to reconcile with myself, do my best, and let God do the rest.

Now, I know that life is not complete when you hurried to the end. The process of running hard itself is a kind of complete. Life is heavy in experience; good is joy, bad is growth. If we always care about gain and loss, how boring it is!

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This year, I learned that the most important ability of a person is to put their days of good ability.

Like cooking, I used to be a person who can't even fried eggs, and now I can cook all the dishes I like, I also can invite friends to have a dinner. Cooking has become the most significant pleasure in my weary life, and it is so delightful to watch the pieces of the ingredients turn into a dish of delicious and tasty food.

Another example will be fitness. I go to the gym three or four times a week. Every time after a sweat, it brings me a sober and thorough, allow me to continue to regain strength, slowly climb up from the bottom. Exercise, will enable me to have a good sleep every night but also allow me to find the ability to feel happy and the courage to pursue happiness. And the things that haunted my heart, already discharge a little from my boy together with the sweat.

And also reading. I need to reflect on this, I have set a goal to finish one book in one week, and then write a book review. It's been a long time since all kinds of trifles delayed me. I should learn to adjust myself, and pick up my original plan.

After a year of graduation, I was glad to find a life outside of nine to five life. The thing that supports me to walk with the strength is the dream, and it is constantly improving my quality of faith.

Maybe I am not mature enough, not sophisticated enough, not smooth enough; Although, in the life of beating, I would like to go back to that night where I’m going revision for the exam, to the time when there’s pop quiz... But thankfully, I don't hate myself for the moment.

I wish you while working hard in your life, you will also always cherish the dream, and always firmly moving forward. Good Luck！

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