How To Get People To Truly Listen To You

in #life2 years ago


We all love attention, don't we? Maybe not the center of attention in a crowd, but every single of us desires to be paid personal attention to when we have things to share and need someone to listen to us.

But sometimes it gets pretty hard to convince people to take time out of their routine for you so you can share your stories and thoughts with them, and even if you do, it's hard to tell if they are listening willingly or are there just so you won't feel bad.

Sometimes, it takes a lot more than just asking them to listen to us because listening is a mentally tiring job and most people only truly listen to those who they can either relate to, or learn something from.

This is where things get a little difficult, because not all of our talks can be relatable or even educational. So then how do we get them to pay attention to us and value our words? Fortunately, there are a few ways that work almost every time.

Avoid Small Talk

Let's start with the basics first. If you're in a state where you need someone who would willingly invest in listening to your story, then small talkers are a big no-no. Gossips and chats are all fun and games, but small talkers aren't the ones you'd wanna go to if you need an attentive ear.

In my experience, sharing your personal stories and thoughts with small talkers is never a good idea because all you'll end up doing is feeling neglected because half of the time, small talkers don't like to invest in a deep conversation.

The conversation that you want in this situation, is the one that will give you reassurance and upliftment, not the one that will make you feel even more bored, lonely and rejected.

Ask For A Favor First

Now comes the fun part. Asking someone for a favor is like cheating your way into making people believe that they like you, and that will make them more willing to give you their ear. It's called "The Ben Franklin Effect".

When you ask someone for a favor, it creates a false image of affection in the mind of the other person which subconsciously makes them think they might like you and that's why they're taking their time to help you.

It gets a lot easier to make people listen to you after you have tricked them into thinking that they have some sort of connection with you which makes you appear more relatable and reliable.

Share Your Fears And Imperfections

This is something that I've been doing a lot recently which you might know about if you're familiar with the #RealTalk series that I run on my blog. As they say, you can learn a lot about a person by knowing their fears and regrets rather than their achievements and successes.

Sharing your fears with someone is like an alternative way of saying that you trust them. Reveling those things sure is scary because it makes you vulnerable, I know, but it plays an extremely important role in building close and deep relationships.

Why? Because we all know none of us are perfect and everyone is screwed in one way or the other. Our downfalls and imperfections are what makes us who we are, more than the side of us that we show off so proudly to the world.


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Dr. Stephen R. Covey -

Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

Nice Post.

Namaste, JaiChai

This "ask them a favor and they will think they like you" tip is really interesting and useful. I will try it out for sure if I find a good opportunity

Posted using Partiko Android

I used to do it a lot back in high school, especially when I had a crush on someone, haha!

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