Not Just Standing in the Corner

So a friend of mine Leo Plaw suggested a few time to me that l should give steemit a good looking into. For various reasons l was told it would be a good platform for my next great leap of faith into the world. Well it's been rolling around in my head for a wee while and finally l jumped. 

I'm an expat who left my homeland about a decade ago. I have a fave saying of "The Fates lead him who will, him who won't they drag." I thought l was following my heart when l left Australia for a great girl. Well that thought has changed somewhat. I'm not with the girl anymore, in fact haven't been in that relationship for 8 years and she isn't even in the country l followed her to. Yet l have stayed here in Sweden despite the multitudes of ex-pat hardships l have experienced. 

We don't grow in the comfort zone is what is bandied about these days in memes and comfort sayings. I guess it's true. Looking back on what was my old life l am sure that what has been born from adversity would never even been conceived in my homeland.

 For more than two thirds of my life my head has been into most things mystical or esoteric, whatever the label is. In fact l knew implicitly as a kid that there was something "there" but l just couldn't see it. Growing up l experimented with substances to "see those things" and sough ideologies and methods to help me touch that void. Back then we never spoke about psychonauts or plant medicines. We didn't set out to be Terence Makenna or Richard Evans Shultes. I followed those intellectual visionaries like Aldous Huxley and William Blake along with the soundtrack of the then ever present and always coaxing Jimbo Morrison. I just wanted to "see" what was being kept hidden. Now as l approach my wonderful half century of years l look back and see l was not being dragged but in fact the Fates have been leading me right from those early days.

 In my early twenties l was studying a form of Eastern healing technique called Shiatsu - acupuncture without needles (I hate needles!) - and as part of the course structure were weekend retreats. On one of those retreats we were dipping out intellectual toes into Psychotherapy. Right at the end of the course, (it always happens at 11:59 does it not?) one of our fellow participants decides it's time for her to let something out. She felt safe enough and comfortable enough with us her fellow classmates, to express the fact that she had been raped. This was, as it indeed is on many levels, a bombshell to our group. The women all bandied together & took her away to another room to deal with this situation. I looked to see them all bundling her away and then saw some real chaos. The course leader was all upset and frustrated that he was left out of the process, and all the guys left were affected also. They were acting in different ways. I felt angry that this beautiful woman had been dealt such a shit blow in what l consider a most appalling act of inhumanity and l wasn't alone. Around me the blokes were also angry, one to the point he was pacing rapidly around the room and physically hitting padded bags. Others were also in what looked to be overwhelming states of emotion yet l was sitting against the wall not reacting. Looking to my right l saw my friend who was also sitting there watching this happen. "Yak are we heartless to be sitting here like this while they do that?" l asked him. "No mate" he replied "We've spent plenty of hours 'out there' holding our shit together. They are just getting a taste of what it's like now." It made perfect sense then yet l had no idea that the same mechanism would come into play in far more important ways later in my life. Just recently l had the responsibility of co-leading four valeda ceremonies in the style of Maria Sabina where those hard yards of my youth came into play so that l could be a support along as being an active mechanism of safety and change while those attending these beautiful ceremonies were vulnerable in the many ways that are with this kind of work.

 My main interest is in humanity’s grasping evolvement of its self. The way we deal with our circumstance is a defining statement to what is a root of culture is what l believe. This cultural outlook changes from environment to environment to circumstance to circumstance. It is a very interesting spiral of evolution and sadly sometimes of devolution. Spending time with an aboriginal elder from home it was an early lesson that thousands of years of knowledge and culture can be lost in one generation. It only takes one person to keep it alive, but when that person dies, no matter what they have imparted to the world, the wellspring dries up a little more. 

 It has been my privilege and absolute honour to have been able to study with elders, shamen, medicine men and women, with culture bearers and people of knowledge from many countries and continents. This was my university and place of education. I have been very lucky to lead the life l have. Don't get me wrong here, l am not a trustifarian who drifted through life with no clear intent of what l wanted. I had to work and sacrifice to be able to spend time with these people. It never came for free or was handed out as a downloaded PDF. My life with all its wonders has had the terrors side by side and l would not change one single part of it for any amount of money or circumstance. I may have not had the most conventional life yet l have my responsibility that comes with the knowledge that l gained from these people. My life is about making change for myself and for those who either seek it or need help with it. 

To me knowledge is not worth a piece of shit unless you can apply it directly right here and now where ever you stand. This realization hit me n my mid to late twenties as l was walking up Glebe Point Road in Sydney. It was a bombshell and right then it was as though four fifths of the books l had read in my life just seemed to melt away and disappear. The result being that l am very practical in my work, not just wordy and talky about it. I am hands on in technique as well as hands on in guiding clients. There is no point of me providing the fish for your hunger when every time you get hungry you need me to fish. I will go fishing with you to show you what fish there are and l will teach you how to fish for yourself. That is what l am about in all its simple complexity.

 I was looking for these fish when l was young. They were there in the ocean l knew it but l just couldn't see them. Over the year’s l learned to dive deeper and deeper. There are fish there that have never been tasted by the most of Western culture and it is at this time in history l feel Western culture is at its hungriest for something to satisfy its hungry soul. We are in amazing times and are an a point in history where amazing change can happen if we are willing to let it happen, if we are willing to let go and if we are willing to take that leap into the deepest ocean on the planet. The ocean of our own existence.

Anyhow l didn't quite expect that diatribe to come out. I'm not always that comfortable with introductions of myself. But l guess more will come in the future as l use this platform as a next step l need to make. If you want to ask anything get in touch. I am always open to meeting folk, learning new things and if it's wanted or needed to impart anything that l'm able to offer. 

Bliss and blessings good folk on your travels.

Darryl