I am (me)

I am new here.
My name is not important, nor my face, but that I am, and who I am. And if you read this, my diary, then you will know. You'll know me.

You will know that I am a young mind, still settling in the uneasiness of adulthood. I will tell you about looking in the mirror: sometimes to find an old soul trapped behind the unbearably unwitting face of a teen; or sometimes a frightened child desperately hiding behind a full beard.

There will be passionate musings about human nature, religion, behavioral science and philosophy. You will hear about the way epilepsy—even though I'm lucky it doesn't cause me violent seizures—silently and persistently affects all aspects of my existence. There will be episodes about loneliness, depression, and wanting to die. Because some days I just want to die.

Maybe someday I'll have the will and courage to merge this new online identity to my existing real one. But for now, allow me to exist and create below the warm protection of this vail of anonymity. Why? Because out there in the world, I become paralyzed. I am a writer who doesn't write, a creator who doesn't create. A living being not living.

The unfettered creation that anonymity facilitates is not a mere convenience; it is an opportunity to live.

The nature of this blog is yet undefined, because I shall allow it to grow and evolve as freely as possible from the weight of preconception. What I can say is that even as it moves along a spectrum between actuality and fiction, it will always carry truth.

Whatever persona I build through my pieces of writing, in the ultimate sense, will be no other than myself.

In the spirit of this community I ask you to be my audience, and I myself will be yours. I hope great thing can come of it.