Valley of Ash--Finish the Story #30
![galak moss valley.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/640x0/https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmcYbueKqx2dmfRLAZajgoh1kwQdJVouAvbTPiQSMQD91F/galak%20moss%20valley.jpg)
(First Part of the story written by @dirge)
Shog, called the Bonecrusher by his people, knew they’d lost when human horns roared across the battlefield. The Imperiate had come after all, to aid their elven allies of the Alish’tae Republic. Shog’s people, orcs of the Galak Tribe, so named after the mountain upon which they’d once lived, fought hard and well. But they fought alone.
Orcs no allies. Not even their Gods, the Old Ones, cared anymore.
As the morning sun crept above the clouds, illuminating the blood soaked fields, the Imperiate horsemen charged out from the forest. Muk’nola, matriarch of the Galaks, sounded her war horn, signalling the retreat. But it would be too late, Shog knew. Those horsemen would slaughter them as they fled. Their children, next.
An elf, empowered by the sense of looming victory, stormed forward from their line, straight towards Shog. He parried the elf’s longsword then heaved his mighty hammer, Breaker of Worlds, in a perfect arc. It smashed upon the elf’s helmeted skull, and he proved his namesake for the countless time. The elf’s head exploded in bone and carnage.
“Back!” he heard. “Fall back!” In disarray, the others around him fled towards Bloodneck Valley, where they’d encamped. Their position fell. Shog screamed to maintain the line but knew the day was lost. His people fled. He had no choice but to follow.
He reached the camp, already nearly moving again, fleeing up the valley to the highlands. Shog, exhausted, reached Zee-zee, his daughter, and Gheelah, his love. Gheelah had already packed their yurt and few remaining possessions. “Flee!” he shouted to her.
“And you?” Gheelah asked.
“I stay to hold them back.”
In typical orcish fashion, their utter devotion, love and mutual respect expressed itself only in their shared gaze, never in public, spoken word. He gripped her hand. He told Zee-zee to be strong. Gheelah nodded. Then the doy galloped away with the rest of the fleeing, broken host.
Muk-nola, matriarch, rallied the remaining Galak warriors. They reformed to a single line. Bloodneck Valley was narrow. Rocky. Layered with crimson colored clay. The land elevated as it led to the Highlands, their only advantage.
Maybe at the height of the tribe’s strength, before the humans had come with their purges and stolen their land, before the elves had arrived to ‘cleanse the world of evil’, maybe they would have been strong enough. But Shog saw they had a few hundred left. A few hundred to hold a line against an entire battalion of Imperiate horsemen and Alish’tae swordsmen, the latter no doubt already being reinforced.
The ‘Fair Folk’ would aim to eradicate the Galak now, as they fled.
Shog marched up to Muk-nola. She hailed him. “Yog-Sothoth burns in us,” she said.
“Yog-Sothoth hasn’t given a shit about us since Galak Mountain ceased its fire,” Shog replied.
Imperiate horns loomed. The sun flared, blinding Shog for a moment. Another disadvantage. The ground rumbled with the cavalry charge.
“Either way. I’ll crush his soul in hell. Right after I’m done with these Fair Folk.”
(My Conclusion)
![galak gorge.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/640x0/https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmayTZ2Gg7D67NBKVkoRBE6v4KdnpnBw7W6tjQ9deBJKoe/galak%20gorge.jpg)
Galak warriors stood fast. They wielded axes and polearms with indifference to their own fates. The survival of the tribe depended on victory that day. As wounds gaped and their numbers dwindled, the defenders battled on. Shadows lengthened across the blood-soaked valley and its sheltering, blood-drenched boulders.
On one of these boulders, Shog noted the play of a particular shadow that seemed to be more than the whimsy of fading light. The shadow wrapped itself around a stout boulder and swirled demonically until the stone was animated and assumed the form of a grotesque deity.
One of the deity's claw-like appendages brandished an ax. Another a gargantuan mace. From behind its gnome-like cranium, bolts of fire soared to smoldering clouds and created a maelstrom of heat that moved rapidly toward the invaders.
Panic ensued among the enemy as they realized their doom was imminent. Vain was their effort to escape. Those most near the wrathful deity were caught with licks of fire and were raised high to be charred and thrown back to the blood-stained earth--as ash.
This was not death, to which all of them had become inured. It was annihilation, and damnation.
Not one of the elves and Imperiate survived the fury of the rampaging spirit. Blood that had run freely down to the meadow now clotted with ash, ash that would eventually settle into the earth and become part of the legend of the Valley.
When the last of the foe had fallen, Shog waited uncertainly to discover his fate. Had the thirst for death been sated with the incineration of the elves and Imperiate? Or would the deity demand that all present be sacrificed to its appetite?
The creature's hollow orbs revealed nothing of its intention, but its spires of fire gradually diminished to flames, and the flames dimmed to sparks.
The spirit settled in a recessed corner where once a boulder had stood. With the final fading of light, the deity's form was obscured in that space.
Darkness fell.
Shog dared not leave the valley until he understood the intention of the spirit. Always he held in mind his family, hidden in the Highlands behind. He signaled to the Galak warriors that they would neither retreat nor advance but pass the night among the ashen remains of their fallen enemy.
No sleep nor dream visited Shog that night. When first the sun rose on the horizon, he studied the corner where the deity had settled. There, a blood-red boulder with knife-like, upward-reaching appurtenances filled the hollow.
The truth of the battle of Bloodneck Valley became clear to Shog in that moment. Yog-Sothoth had fought with them. And he would remain at the mouth of the Valley to protect Galak families that waited in the Highlands.
The legend of Bloodneck Valley was told to generations of Galak through millennia that followed, until the location of the Valley was lost to memory. Only the names of heroes who fought that day were memorialized. And the abiding protection of Yog-Sothoth was celebrated in the devotional incantations of the tribe until the last breath of the last Galak.
ABOUT FINISH THE STORY CONTEST
Every week the beginning of a story is featured by @bananafish. Sometimes guest authors write these pieces. Usually @f3nix is the author. In every case, all of Steemit has an invitation to enter into the realm of imagination. There are few rules. A 500 word limit is suggested, but not mandatory. Any thread, any idea from the first part may become an inspiration to follow for the second author.
The name of this contest is finishthestory, but it's really about writing your own story that is connected in some way to the first. Accept the invitation to write, to become part of a community and at the same time demonstrate your individuality.
Finish the Story Contest--highly recommended.
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This post was submitted for curation by: @f3nix
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This post was voted: 99.72%
Thank you. I'm trying to join the discord channel. I do appreciate the support. I don't quite understand the way this works but I do understand the concept behind it. More participation, more community involvement, more equitable distribution. Do I have that right? Thanks so much.
You see, it was worth a try! This contest is like doing crosswords, it's for training our creativity and you did it big time. Your story is well built and classic.
My favorite sentence is:
Quite powerful. Well done, my friend 😉
Thank you so much. You told me to turn the sock inside out. I felt as though I was wearing not only someone else's sock, but someone else's shoe. You're right--an interesting exercise.
I think of your statement about haiku: "without judgment or the unnecessary presence of (the poet's) ego". Have to write without investing ego too much--let be what will be.
The contest is important to people. Creative energy and growth here. Kudos...
Yes, being a martial artist I sometimes tend to wear the specs of karate, in life's ups and downs.. ego is an enemy more than a friend, sometimes.
Really interesting story, I didn't realise it was part of finish the story contest until the end, so you did quite well in keeping the narration tone..! well done
Thank you! I lack confidence in my contribution to this story, so that comment is really appreciated :)
...after telling and retelling the sacred story for over 3,500 years, many details of other exploits and facts about Shog's personal nature was lost long ago.
Nevertheless, what survived of the story is both believed and cherished by the masses.
Some say the truth was intentionally suppressed by the religious elite from the beginning.
This is why:
"The legendary warrior was actually a woman named 'Shoga'."
Solid post, solid writing.
Namaste, JaiChai
You should try a hand at this yourself. That was quite an ending. I absolutely love Shoga. :)
Thanks for the kind praise.
Namaste, JaiChai
You made a fairy tale. I felt a bit put in your place and saw some important information while searching for a part of the beginning of the story: Where does the Yog-Sothoth actually come from?
So the fire is not extinguished, but appears in the form of the stone god who destroys everything to ashes that wants the Highlands evil and is connected to the orcs as their land. I actually think that's a very beautiful thought, that there's a kind of divine instance that stands aside from the earthbound. If only it weren't so cruel. But now, that's the stuff of legends, the elements must be strong and invincible.
What I like about your Shog is that he proceeds cautiously and how an explorer overcomes his fear and tries to understand the situation and what has happened. Spending the night on the battlefield is also a kind of wake that even the enemy deserves.
To tell the tale of oral tradition is a very old custom over thousands of years and the fact that you appreciate it here seems to me like a tribute to this beautiful quality of people.
You're right--it is cruel. I had to assume a posture that is not natural to me. This was a challenge I probably would not have taken on if you hadn't set an example. But I figured, go forward. It's fiction. Participate for the sake of the group. And so I wrote in a voice that is not intrinsically mine. My husband said it worked out OK, so I put it up. He's my ultimate test, because he does not enjoy obscurity. At least I know the story makes sense when he approves.
Thanks for seeing some value in the piece. Giving it a mythic, folkloric quality was the only way to go for me :)
I was chased by the same thought when I thought about taking on an attitude which does not so much fit me. Taking on the challenge does give the chance to jump over ones own shadow but I admit it's not easy.
How good, that your husband is your ultimate test person. Like that a lot :) I never get my man to read my fiction. lol
We people still long for strong tales and that's what you provided me with.
Many years of marriage--more than I will admit here:)
😏
💑
🖖
This is beautifully written, as always. I love the moment when Shog is wondering whether the spirit will turn on the orks as well. Dealing with deities is always dangerous! What a relief that Yog-Sothoth's intentions were benevolent in this case! :D Great read!
:))
That's a good one! Thanks for those kind words. Easier to write next time when a piece gets a positive reception.
The coming and leaving of the deity was neat.
Thanks--it was hard for me to get into this theme, but I tried to join the team effort. I felt like a 'stranger in a strange land' writing this piece. Glad you found something positive in it.
I have yet to feel familiar with any of the themes that have come up. Most of the endings I've written here have been without a muse speaking to me. haha!
I almost don't write what I do because I feel so on the outside, but I've manage to get something out since my joining.
On with the struggle, friend.
Your struggle wasn't apparent in your work...Thanks for sharing that. As @stever82 wrote a few weeks back, "I can only get better". See you around the bend.
If the video cam was on me -->
https://giphy.com/gifs/l2Je1lBJ0sdw26Y7K/html5
😄 😄
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Well said!
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