[Original Fiction] The Fountain of Youth
This is my entry for the second @fiction-trail writing competition.
The Fountain of Youth
It was a hot day. Not unusual for this time of year, but not the sort of weather you wanted on the one day that someone stole the money you were assigned to protect. And you are then forced to give chase. And you are carrying a few extra pounds due to the recent holidays. Gary was only a few steps into his attempt at running when he started to internally curse himself for those extra brownies he had at the last family gathering. But they are so good, he thought. Damn this clown, he muttered to himself, as he he tried as gracefully as he could to run down the thief.
Gary worked as an armed guard. Except he wasn't armed. That had all changed. Except the description. That hadn't. He was an unarmed armed guard.
“God damn regulations. Just because Barry shot the wrong person, now we can't shoot anyone. Not even the correct bad guys?” When Gary first heard the new rules he didn't take it so well. Less shooting would mean more running. More running would mean less brownies. And less brownies meant someone deserved to be shot. And herein lay Gary's dilemma.
Besides, it was his partner Barry's fault. Last time someone tried to nick their cash he went into Dirty Harry mode. And Gary had warned him never to go into Dirty Harry mode. But the thief got lucky, and Barry made his day. And ruined Gary's.
So here they were now, take two. Except no guns. Two slightly overweight security guards chasing an opportunistic thief down the cobblestone streets in the old part of town. Gary could see the thief turn a corner about a hundred feet in front of him. Out of breath but desperate to catch the guy, Gary sprinted as fast as his legs – and his heart – would allow him to. He became fixated on the rhythm of his deep, exhausted breathing. Almost mesmerised. Until it started to sound like music echoing through the cavities of his head. Until it started to sound like a specific song. Damn, he thought, now I got the Benny Hill song playing in my head.
Gary turned the corner, followed quickly by Barry. Gary kept running as he scanned the street ahead of him. Old medieval stone buildings stood on either side of the cobblestone pathway. But no thief.
He stopped and motioned for Barry to do likewise. “Do you think he went into one of these buildings?” he asked. “The street's too long, so he couldn't have exited. He couldn't have reached that far in such a short time.”
Barry looked around, thinking of something to say. They had lost him, that seemed certain. “They should have let us keep our guns.”
“So you could shoot anther innocent bystander?” Gary responded.
“Sure, that could have happened. Or I could have shot the thief. I'm usually good in fifty-fifty situations. Last time I was having an off day. Now though we will never know.”
“Have you lost someone?” Gary looked at Barry. Barry looked at Gary. Neither of them had said a word. There were no other people around them. “I said, have you lost someone?”
Gary looked beside him and noticed an old water fountain. A rather ornate one, he had taken no notice of it due to the circumstances they had found themselves in. But now he noticed it. And not for it's ornateness. No, this fountain appeared to be talking to them.
Gary looked at Barry with a mix of confusion and mild trepidation. “Did you just hear the fountain speak?” he asked, as he started to mock himself internally, in an attempt to beat Barry to the punch.
“Yes, I did,” Barry replied, as he looked behind the fountain in a vain attempt to find a small skinny ventriloquist.
“Yes, you both heard this fountain speak. That's because I can speak. I speaketh, therefore I am.” The fountain started to chuckle at his own humour. He was met with stunned silence.
“You're a fountain. Fountains cannot speak.” Gary responded.
“So why are you having a conversation with me?” the fountain asked. “Do you always respond to non-talking fountains?”
“He has a point, you know!” Barry interjected.
“Now you're siding with a talking fountain? We don't have time for this. We have a thief to catch. And we may have missed our chance now,” Gary could feel himself getting more frustrated with the situation. Yet mildly intrigued at the same time.
“You're looking for someone, correct? And like I said, I may know where he is.”
“You know where the thief is?” Gary asked hopefully.
“I do. But first, please have a drink. You look parched. And somewhat sweaty. You guys don't do much running, do you?”
“I prefer to shoot,” Barry responded.
“Easier on the body, I would imagine,” the fountain said.
“But not on bystanders,” Gary added.
“So have a drink, rest a moment, and I will let you know where he is right now.”
“Is this fresh water? Safe for drinking?” Gary asked.
“Of course I offer fresh, safe drinking water,” the fountain responded, a little offended by the question. “I wouldn't be much of a water fountain if I couldn't provide clean drinking water.”
“It's just that I have never seen another fountain like you.”
“Really? No others out there like me?”
“Not all ornate like you. You're unique. Not to mention the speaking thing you got going on also.”
“No others like me,” the fountain muttered to himself. “No wonder I could never find a mate! And here I am the magical fountain of youth, and no one to share my youth with!”
“What, you're a mating and speaking fountain?” Gary enquired.
“And the fountain of youth?” Barry added.
“That I am,” he responded. “And if I don't mate then I will quickly become the last of my kind.”
“I think you already are.”
“Well there you go. That's my point. I'm a dying breed. Quick, drink up, console me from this terrible news you have delivered.”
Gary and Barry leant down and took turns at scooping water into the mouth, in a half hearted attempt to relieve their thirst, and shut the talking fountain up.
The fountain watched over them hopefully, saying nothing. He internally counted down the seconds to himself, waiting patiently for the effect to kick in. Gary and Barry both started to notice it at the same time. A darkness began to envelope them, dislodging all sense of light. Waves of nausea washed over them, like a bad case of sea sickness. What was in that water, Gary wondered? He grasped around and tried to regain his equilibrium. Nothing – no awareness of the cobblestone street remained. His sight functioned, but darkness was everywhere.
“Barry, are you there?” Gary asked hopefully.
“Yes, I'm somewhere. It may be there,” he responded.
“What's happened?”
“We drank some water, from a talking fountain. Now it's dark. That drink must have taken a long time,” responded Barry, unhelpfully.
“I don't think we are in Kansas any more,” Gary told Barry.
“I've never been in Kansas,” Barry said. “Are you feeling okay?”
“You're in my belly,” the fountain explained, having allowed the nauseating effects to start to wear off.
Gary and Barry looked around to locate the voice, forgetting the fact they were surrounded by pitch darkness. “How did we get inside your belly?” Gary asked.
“You drank my water. I lured you with my charms, you drank freely, now here you are – mine.”
“I drank because you said you were the fountain of youth,” Barry responded.
“I am – but I never mentioned your youth.”
“What do you mean?”
“I am a fountain demon. As you pointed out, I am the last of my kind. I survive on the souls of thirsty wanderers. And sometimes sweaty guards. It'll have to do. Now you are in my belly, waiting until such time as I devour you. It is my youth I preserve.”
“You haven't eaten us yet?” Gary enquired. “But you said we are in your belly.”
“I'm a demon, my belly works differently to yours. Don't complicate the matter, just savour the wait. I know I will be. Hmmm, to eat or not eat. That is the question!”
“Stop butchering Shakespeare!” Gary blurted out.
“What – you know about that?” the fountain asked.
“What?” Gary said.
“Oh, umm, nothing,” the fountain offered, feeling flustered. “Awkward!”
“So what happens now?” Barry enquired.
“Maybe a little pre-dinner show should be in order?” the fountain said. “Although I'm new to this performance stuff. You know, I'm still a little 'wet' behind the ears.” The fountain waited for a response, but none was forth coming. “Seems my 'dry' spell is continuing. Tough crowd, lucky I'm no 'spring' chicken – get it, spring. Hello, one, two. Is this thing on?”
“So what is for dinner?” Barry asked, still confused by the ordeal.
“You are,” the fountain answered.
“I'm confused,” Barry added.
“Yes, that has been established already. Now if you guys don't like my comedy, I could always go and start a 'Well'-ness Centre. 'Well'-ness centre. No, nothing? Alright, must be dinner time. Audiences get cranky when they are hungry.”
“But you're the one doing the eating,” said Gary, correcting the fountain.
“Too true,” responded the fountain. “And it seems I am in luck.” Just as the fountain was contemplating the process of devouring his two recent visitors, a crowd of tourists entered the cobblestone lane way, causing the fountain's eyes to light up like never before. “Oh goody,” he said. “My favourite – Buffet!”
This fiction is my own work, written for Steemit
Image Credit: Unsplash.com and @fiction-trail
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This is good and really funny. I particularly liked the throwaway wait, you know about that Shakespeare bit. Hehe. Well done!
Thanks, happy to hear you found it funny. It sounded funny when working it out in my head, but not always sure how these translate to paper/screen. Thanks for your comment.
I sure did and I know it's hard to write funny. You pulled it off!
I thought it was really funny too. We both had the idea that the fountain was "inhabited" but there all similarity in our stories ended. Loved it!
Somehow I haven't caught up with any of your stuff since My Sister's Keeper. Must go and check out some more of your links.
Thank you, glad you could appreciate the humour. When I thought through the idea of a talking fountain the absurdity of the idea made it difficult to write a more serious piece - the fountain's personality kept wanting to be more lighthearted (although still a demon). Haven't had a chance to read yours, but will now. Will love to see what you came up with.