Becoming Great or Becoming you? Harder Then it Looks - Lets Talk About it #discussion
There has been several things in the steemverse that have caught my eye the last few weeks that are beginning to collide. They all have centered around real dialogue with real people (in cyberland) about challenging things. It started with the death of @lauralemons that brought on much needed dialogue about emotional health, depression and suicide, and got me exposed to @voiceshares. Then I read a post by @timcliff about a proposition to push the tag #discussion to create constructive dialogue around hot topics. I read this in between interacting with @sostrin and @dwinblood posting articles about their experience with parents that used physical violence on them, as well as their experience disicipling their own children.
This was all happening while starting to interact with two other people that get me way hype - @stackin and @enazwahsdarb
All the above people I would totally recommend following. Great content - fascinating people.
As this has been colliding in my brain I have been struck by the incredible diversity in people, the diversity of their experiences, their pains, their battles. Interacting with them (and others) I find myself being challenged at the wealth that I am interacting with. Do I really believe what I think, are their ideas right? Do they put my identity at risk, or do they help upgrade me as a person?
In every disagreement, I have the ability to allow the disagreement to threaten my understanding of who I am - or allow it to help upgrade my understanding of who I am.
This revelation has been shocking to me
Why do we feel threatened by people different than us?
Have I been so insecure or unsure of myself that when someone comes up and pushes on my outer shell I break?
It is so easy to speak an opinion or an experience as fact
When I run into someone boldly explaining their perspective as true, right or the best - am I able to hear that process it, filter it, and make a decision on how that information will be used in my life...if at all. Or do I assume because of their platform or boldness they are just 'right'
What do you think?
I have found that I had very few voices in my life inviting me to challenge the status quo. Even fewer voices inviting be to question why? In religious context, in the school systems, even in social circles - the strongest voice, the perceived authority figure would communicate as fact, and for the most part everyone went along with it. It's been a major factor of the rape culture/binge drinking ravaging college campuses - but thats another conversation.
It created an worldview within me that said I was a 'victim' while I would not say 'victim' - I was yielded to the strongest voice or the perceived authority of my surrounding. I was imprisoned to just go along with it instead of pushing against it. It also built in within me an inability to take on challenges, creating a fairly impotent purposeless life.
What's your story? Are you able to be around people that are different then you? People that think contrary to you? Do they unsettle you as a person? Or do they help upgrade who you are?
Being in my early 30's I feel I am starting to settle in to who I am as fact. While it may get shaped by new ideas or thoughts, its pretty settled. I am a husband, dad, son, friend, one that catalyzes people, a Man of God, a learner and one that builds people up. I have gotten to this point as a result of allowing the experiences of life shape me. There have been some things I have run from and learned minimally from. There have been other things I have engaged head on, and as a result they have been critical aspects of shaping my Identity.
Think of it like this - I was created with a certain genotype as directed by my genetic makeup. Unique and specific to me. My experiences and relationships have then been shaping me since I was born building me into who I am. When I allow these experiences to shape me and not bulldoze me - the product is then real freedom in myself - not having to question my reality when a disagreement or new perspective comes up. Which actually makes me great - people are longing for freedom!
My Identity ------being shaped by new/challenging experiences -----I engage the experiences----my knowledge is increased and thus my freedom is increased
I am to the point now where every new thought or disagreement only has the capacity to increase the freedom I feel. Even when someone comes spouting their perspective with force and as fact - I am able to take that filter it through my brain/expereinces/question it and take what is good and toss what is garbage.
I want to encourage you in your journey of life - your own personal greatness and freedom will come from allowing yourself to be shaped by people different from you. Learning where they are coming form and why. People's strong voice often comes form their own insecurities - do not let it bulldoze you or send you into a rage of anger - that will not help you or anyone around you.
Let's use the #discussion tag and the steemit platform to build out powerful secure people that can engage in real dialogue, with real disagreement that shapes us into holistic powerful people that do not function in ignorance.
Thanks for reading along with me - would love your thoughts below and any links to posts you have written about your own journey. Feel free to check out the people mentioned above - steem on
Live Big Today and Dominate Life
Whether I can be around others or not really depends on what kind of people they are. Although I am very hard to get upset, I can easely be annoyed if something doesn't suit me :P. I guess all my life I've attracted the "right" kind of people, I am not one that falls into emotional behaviour so as long as one acts normal I listen. Prejudice still stays a thing we all have, even though most think they don't...
And btw, one thing I have noticed about Steemit; is that a lot of people actually have this mindset questioning the status quo.
yea - i have loved that about the steem community - my hope is to empower people to carry that into their actual life. People can put all sorts of perspective out into cyber land - it takes another level of courage to put that out into practice in the real world...thanks for your comment
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This is EXACTLY what I talk about!!! Throughout my life, I have been snubbed in many ways and have been told to adopt certain pathways just because they were either in trend or they were the 'right' thing to do as declared by the society. My husband went through the same for the majority of his life and suffocated deep down too. Luckily for us, we are now in a much better place emotionally and psychologically because we now don't let the influences around us affect us negatively.
This is exactly what happens here in Pakistan too and is quite a major reason why depression is prevalent here. My husband and I are trying our best to bring a positive change in our social circle and are raising our son in a way that he doesn't let the people affect him negatively. I write about similar topics too. Feels so good to have gone through this post. #discussion is exactly what we need to do to help people embrace their originality and become peaceful in their skin.
its great to meet you! thanks for reading along and being apart of this platform and the #discussion tag - will see you around the cryptoverse! Great to hear about you and your husbands victories!
This is a really good conversation. Great personal perspectives and contributions here.
For my part, I don't mind being around people that are very different from me. (So long as they are not toxic!) Perhaps that's because I don't expect anyone else to be like me: I'm excentric and unusual so by default the whole rest of the world will be different. But I can confront when I need to and don't mind having a friendly disagreement. My prefered habit, mind you, is to search for common ground whenever possible. I am a natural mediator. At the end of the day, we are all human beings that want to be accepted and appreciated.
mediators are needed no doubt - but also people of courage that can disagree! thanks for being you - following along and commenting!
One of the best parts of SteemIt for me has been meeting and reading about people from all over the world and learning about their lives. :)
thats great! where you located?
USA
well in your process of finding the BTC store you let me know if you end up in Colorado land and Ill spend some of my BTC and buy ya a beer
You are becoming one of my favorite authors to follow. I think we feel threaten by others that are different than us because we fear what it would mean for us to be different. What if we were not " Normal". We tend to unconsiously put our selves in others shoes, while seeing it through our own perspective. I love this quote from Timber Hawkeye " The opposite of what we believe to be true is also true". The key for me is the constant practice of spiritual principals like Honesty, Open-mindedness, Willingness, Empathy, and Compassion. The truth is that we are all the same, we are all human
Yes, humans are born to fear the unknown. But lot of us have the power to face the scariest thing that can exist. So, it is a balance given by who created us. Whoever he is.
Universe from my pov is made from balance in all ways. There is always a reaction to all actions. There is always a balance to anything. It was a documentary with Stephen Hawking in some words it was said that all things have an opposite one. For every hole in the ground there is a pile of dirt in another place... etc
So, for everyone who has fear is another one that will go through that with no fear...
Nowadays, things changed in the normal way we lived them. Technology took part in that change and took out more and more from our lives.
Who will not find a balance to technology and real life, will not have a bright future. It will have a fake reality and self consciousness.
Today, they need motivational speeches and videos to see the truth we lived it. And gladly there are lot of them.
But it is a paradox. Today with so much space for free speech and so many channels of communication, censorship and banning are most common thing we see lately. In all domains, including normal life.
Free will it is, but it is just for surface. The whole system is going wrong. We are aware of that but few can do something to change it.
Let's hope more people like Elonk Musk and others will be around to share and feed with innovations.
P.S.: With more knowledge comes more things that we can be afraid of. But also that we can enjoy - here is our choice
I'd like to think that while you are right few people are in a state to be able to currently bring about change - more people in my generation and the one coming are increasing their ability to think, live with conviction and instead of moving in fear - moving in confidence...we will see - appreciate you thoughts tho - thanks for reading along
Yes, but facebook... people, to not say here they way i think about lot of them, they are just thinking that hitting a button is enough and they did a lot.
Yes, it matters the numbers there for being a common interest but till the real things are alive is a long road.
For me, in this days all that matter are facts. I'm tired of words and speeches without facts.
So, with my tiny power i shared what i could. But we can never do things alone.
As you say... we'll see.
haha just "hitting the button" so true -
lol... yes...
I hate that dumb and silly reaction and the feelings that they changed the world with some thumbs on a screen or maybe with some words, for some that don't even know to write, there you can enjoy a bit of moment.
Eh... life is and will be more surprising day by day
As much as we live, we'll see good and bad things. Let's hope will be more good than bad.
I really glad your enjoying my thoughts - I was struck by your honesty and openness with your experience about your upbringing in your post earlier this week -
I think we totally fear change, and allowing ourselves to become different with exposure to others is challenging. I think it's also what makes the great thinkers and innovators of our time set apart from the norm, and what ultimately allows them to write history. I read one of the many biographies of teddy roosevelt in my early 20's that really started opening up my brain to someone that allows themselves to think differently, learn from others and live out their live on the best course they see fit.
thanks for the follow and engaging with my content #COF
We fear change. We Crave comfortability and even find comfortability in pain. Stuck it the cycle of Anger ( not happy with our present) Resentment ( Not happy with our past) and Fear ( Fear of the future)
One of my favorite phrases my wife and I use is the idea that we need to fail forward. Basically the idea that we need to take on our perceived failures and not get anger/resentful but actually grow and learn. Otherwise I find I will have to face whatever giant again...and thats just dumb...
I think you have a point here with the "threaten by others that are different than us because we fear what it would mean for us to be different. What if we were not " Normal"." but I look at it as being scared that your life is based on lies or not the truth like if this person is right and I am wrong that must mean I have been living a lie.
Ahh yes. I have found that almost everything I believe has turned out to be false. This was shocking and I felt off balance for awhile. Its reminds me of the matrix. Once you know you cant go back to not knowing
A story really deeply told. I know what you are talking about my friend, the questions you asked yourself and now we are also confronted with these questions through your post.
As a professional football player, I dealt with many different people. Not only from their nationality this of course but also with different status within the team. The pressure you feel coming from those big players and when they treat you like shit was one hardest part I needed to deal with.
Many things are not going well in this business but for me its a real school of life.
I have to accept then I need to figure out a way to get along with them.
This is building my character.
Thanks for sharing this deep post.
bro - i have read your posts from afar and been encouraged - thanks for jumping on my page -
I was a collegiate soccer player and felt many of those pressures (probably on a smaller scale) and no doubt the school of life.
I will pray that you dominate your challenges and bring a genuine life of truth and security into your world -
thanks for the comment
I have to thank you to be so honest and sharing this wonderful post.
Thanks for your prayers they are highly appreciated. :)
It takes courage (connection with 'corasao' heart), to live. As yoda would say empty first your cup. This is a daily requirement. Living in not in our heads of identity going through the motions of trance ID state. Rather, raw vulnerable alive like hanging on to the side of a cliff. EGO which identifies with thought/paradigm as though this is what we are, has only this in-security. Thanks for your help in clarifying this post with your input.
you bet thanks for reading along!
Being a member of the 'Truth Movement' I constantly face animosity and hatred from those that do not understand my beliefs or my fight for Truth.
Many people are so compassionate about their ideals that even if they are shown that their ideals may be based on lies or disinformation they will stick to them.
Dealing with anger management issues my entire life it can be a struggle to maintain my composure at times and have lost my temper on occasions when trying to justify my logic.
For me September 11th 2001 was a Big Eye opener to how easily people can be convinced of lies and how easily manipulated their perceptions of reality can be.
gotta be learners yo - thanks for commenting
Right. Always remember, some cannot handle the truth, some don't even deserve the truth however there are some, maybe not easy to find who will actually connect with you.. It is our question to ourselves which types we seek.
Also have to add it is called 'cognitive dissonance' and normalcy bias. Not sure where the seemingly excess of anger and agitation come from though. Most people never get that mad when the news tells them things.