DAD-Chronicals : Parents have a total view - was not that considered a child?
Parents have a total view - was not that considered a child?
As a small child, you think your own children can do everything and know everything. Children are safe. As a parent, however, you quickly realize that you can never live up to the manifold demands placed on parents. You try to fill the role as well as you possibly can.
When I was little, I had blind faith in my parents. They would know exactly what they are doing. If they were huge, strong as bears, they could put food on the table, comfort me, relieve my pain, buy things and, with the help of a magical vehicle called a car, drive us to unknown places at lightning speed. Of course, my parents knew, had the absolute perspective - and in all things. How could it be otherwise?
As I got older, I realized that my parents did not know everything, of course. As a teenager, I even came to the conclusion that they were pretty wrong on almost all important points. This opinion has changed somewhat over time, but I still have some real mistakes in the parenting methods and arguments of my parents.
Often the demands on parents are no match
Now I am a father and feel the confidence of my children that I know everything and can judge everything. On the one hand, this confidence is extremely flattering. On the other hand, I also see how often I feel overwhelmed by the many decisions you have to make on a parent's daily basis - education or children's behavior, illness, finances or future planning. The demands on oneself are simply extremely high and so varied that I am often not up to it. After all, I no longer just have to take responsibility for myself - hard enough, but it's my own fault if something goes wrong - but also for a small person and his future.
Almost daily, I realize that I am far from knowing everything or being perfect. So I try, read into problem areas, train, weigh and try to do the best possible job in my role as a parent - under stress and with regular sleep deprivation. Of course I will make mistakes. I would never tell my children that I know everything. Yes, I would even admit if I do not know something and show them how I try to find a solution.
At some point my children will criticize how they were raised
If they are bigger, my children will surely criticize me for my educational methods or for decisions that I have made. They have every right to do that. But I would like to be able to tell you that I have done and decided everything to the best of my knowledge and belief. I owe them to you and me too.
If my kids ever blame me for my mistakes, then I'll listen to them quietly, regret something, stand up for some, perhaps apologize for a few things. In the end, I will certainly point out that parents are after all only human. This is something that is too often forgotten.
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HI,
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Parenting is definitely a very challenging job. But still we should not worry too much how our children would judge us. We should worry about educating them and make sure that they have correct understanding of right and wrong. Be able to understands human emotions and know that difference of opinions can exist and its okay. They should be able to see what parents went through and appreciate their efforts and sacrifices.
Cheers