DAD-Chronicals : Scuffle children - is that still up-to-date today?
Scuffle children - is that still up-to-date today?
It used to be quite normal, especially among guys: if disputes could not be clarified with words, they would also get a short break. After that, aggression was reduced, the air was clean again and the game went on peacefully. What is the situation today? Can scuffles still be tolerated in view of the increasing violence potential?
In many kindergartens rummaging is taboo. No wonder, the children would beat the whole day, then it would get the already often overburdened educators also dealing with indignant parents. So it is one of the indisputable rules in kindergarten and school: is not banned. Wolfgang Bergmann, a well-known educationalist, has a different opinion. In his view, the clarification of conflicts with physical exercise is one of the "masculine" characteristics - and they should be lived out.
Education in woman's hands
The proportion of female educators, especially in nurseries and day-care centers, is overwhelming. Only about four percent of kindergarten teachers are on average in Germany. Accordingly, the education and the way of dealing with the facilities is "female". Beating and beating is a taboo and usually generally prohibited. For the girls in the facilities, this is mostly ok, otherwise it looks the boys - at least Wolfgang Beckmann. He believes that boys' masculine traits, such as aggression, lust for sound, and unrestrained romping in female-dominated nurseries, are suppressed right from the start. In the long term, that would mean that the boys no longer feel or understand their own needs. The ban on physically measuring one's strength and being allowed to behave like a rude fellow affects the male identity in the sense that parts of it are being suppressed.
The toothpaste tube principle
If something is suppressed at one point, it will be at another with more pressure to the fore. We all know the toothpaste tube principle. And so it is quite possible that the suppression of the aggression that a child undergoes during the day breaks when the rules become more relaxed and the influence of the adults diminishes. Beckmann attributes the increasing violence among young people partly to the fact that as a child they were never allowed to give free rein to their strength. All this comes to the fore now and brings with it a crucial problem: The boys do not even know how strong they are and what punches and kicks can do to others.
What to do when boys beat each other?
We have become so sensitive to violence that we do not want to be able to watch or endure when two kids get their hands on the wool. Screaming is - just so - ok, Raufen does not work. Beckmann is of the opinion that it is okay not to intervene immediately. As long as the situation does not escalate, parents and educators could quietly watch two boys beating each other. The experience is important in order to be able to determine the order of rank and to be able to assess one's own strength. Only then do the boys get a feeling for themselves and a measure of what a kick or a punch means to another.
New educational concepts for dealing with aggression
Of course, it is not in nursery schools and schools, that disagreements are cleared up with brawls. And to supervise a fight, the staff is usually lacking qualifications and the possibility (keyword: too few staff). Still, some institutions have internalized the idea that rattling and scuffling is just part of the game for boys. So, a rough and a runtime is introduced, in which each child is allowed to measure his powers with others, with clear rules of course. In more and more schools, the discipline of wrestling and scoring is part of physical education - with full contact. Scientists are in favor of this because they believe that the associated reduction in aggression and the need for self-discipline make children smarter. As far as the fear of injury risk is concerned, a study by various physicians has shown that children are injured far more frequently in classical sports such as football, handball or skiing than in wrestling or other martial arts.
Ruff in the domestic environment
Mothers often do not like it when their children beat themselves, some fathers do not. Yet they are there, the conflicts and the aggression potential. What works in the school and in kindergarten, works at home among siblings. Let your children run wild as far as possible and do not intervene until the violence takes over. You may find something astonishing, namely, that the children get into the wool for a short time and then play peacefully and completely reconciled - the air is clean again.
Other Stories round about the DAD-Chronicals
Farewells and losses how children handle it
Sibling dispute makes you smart
Our 15 year old struggled with aggression for years. We have only just recently had him diagnosed with bi-polar.
It explains alot, but certainly doesn't make life easy, especially when he's the oldest of 5 and weighs nearly 120kg.
Keep it up dear bembel ;) ! stay for the long run ! big hugs !
@contentvoter