Contest open to all! Punday Monday 63! Comedy Open Mic Round 29!

in contest •  3 months ago

Welcome to Punday Monday!


If you’re new here, pull up a stool, order a pun-t, and get to know some of the regulars! I’m your puntender, @improv.
You can jump in any time, and if you aren’t sure how to make a pun, here’s a handy dandy guide:

If you’re an oldtimer, welcome back! Get to know some of the whippersnappers, here, we have a craft brew for you. We’re experimenting with different grains. We like the barleys, obv., the wheat-ys… this one is corn-y. On the house:
(A robber holds up a circus. He sees the clown reaching for his lapel flower and commands, “Don’t try anything funny.”)

And since you’re an oldtimer, you might be interested in the results of our first annual best pun contest:

If you’re an any-timer, old or whipper, make sure you visit @freewritehouse! There you can meet fellow lovers of goofiness and find even more contests every week! We’re also now featured in the @steembasicincome contest round-up! Find more opportunities to win SBI there!

Hang on to your punderwear...

There’s no business like show business, so let’s show you the business we’re dealing with today!

Here’s last week’s post, and all the puns that are eligible to win this week are in the comments!

Rookie of the Week!

Goes to @aloha-creations! Welcome and congrats!

Pocket Choice awards

Every Friday, I put up a post to solicit audience favorites! They can vote on their favorites by sending POCKET to whomever they want to win. This week’s post is here:

This week’s winner won a #steembasicincome share, because @freedomshift sponsors an SBI award for our #ccc qualified contest posts. Check out what the Curation Circle Creed is all about by visiting this link: The Honor Code - the Creed (Conditions and Limits Inside)

@aloha-creations also won @paul.atreides’ heart AND POCKET! She wins! New member of the winner’s circle. As I’m sure you all remember, we’re coming up on the big annual POCKET Choice awards ceremony. Just 3 more opportunities to be inducted! So, go find the biggest POCKET holders, and advocate for your pun to win! That post goes up on Fridays.

If you want to LEARN about POCKET, so you can participate in voting for your favorites, go ahead and check out this link
You can also check out more info by @biophil, the creator of POCKET, and he’ll teach you. Check out his posts!

The folks in the POCKET Choice winner's circle are @aloha-creations, @professorbromide, @tcpolymath, @miniature-tiger, @lilygolightly, @chrisroberts, @stinawog, @f3nix, @doctorcrypto, @heroic15397, @littlescribe, @diebitch, @acolucky, @ablaze, and @paul.atreides.

and our grand prize…

The prize for best pun

Best pun of the entire week

Winner of our weekly SBI share giveaway

Best Overall Pun





@paul.atreides! Check out that quantity of puns!

Another big week with many puns! Hooray that many of our regulars are back! Hooray that new folks are finding us (SBI FTW!) Huzzah! Go read them all! It’s never past payout for a laugh attack.

And what prizes do they win, you ask?

Why, as usual, all the punsters got full strength upvotes on their submissions. (WORTH $0.02! So much value!)

Our category winners will each get to choose a post (of their own or someone else's) and I will give that post a fully powered upvote and a @tipu tip!

And they all get big, exciting SBI prizes!
(@aloha-creations, you’ll get your POCKET Choice award from @freedomshift!)

This week's pun topic is...


As in,
Why is the evil clown from IT such an expert on Italian food? Because he’s Penne-wise.


I'm so good at puns....

If you've never punned before, it might seem like magic! You can do it, too! Learn how in My Free How-To Guide on Punning!

Who do I nominate for @comedyopenmic’s comedy challenge?
@paul.atreides, do it. @aloha-creations, do it.

And, as long as I have your attention… well, this place is probably already saturated with people who have referral codes for various “free money” things, but here are mine!

Coinbase: Cryptocurrency investment-
(Hot tip, I buy BTC on, then send it to bittrex to trade for Steem and send steem to my wallet here. It’s the most efficient way with the fewest fees I’ve found. If you’ve found better, let me know.)
Robinhood: investment platform buying/selling stocks- small tasks for small rewards (need a business or .edu email) -
Mannabase: sign up for universal basic income distribution funded by cryptocurrency-
Swift: Yet another attempt at a UBI:

Authors get paid when people like you upvote their post.
If you enjoyed what you read here, create your account today and start earning FREE STEEM!
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Hi improv,

Thank your post in the #comedyopenmic tag.
Please note that this isn't a generic tag but rather it's a tag for our contest
If you'd like to participate you can click here to read the contest rules.

I would like to draw your attention to the rule asking contestants to include "Comedy Open Mic Round #" in the title.
We are currently on round 29

Please update your title and we will pass your entry along to the judges for judgement*.

*Judges that pass judgement only judge as far as judgement is concerned.


Whoops, yes. I'm a week ahead. Sorry, time travel always leaves me a bit discombobulated.


I'm not SORPRESE at all. The thing about time travel is, it requires you to FARFALLE back into the space time continuum. Which doesn't help.


In fact, it can be very dangerous.

I run with this sexy Italian chick, no matter how fast I run, I can't make it pasta.


You gotta lay off the sauce! ;P

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Don't worry. Next time I CANNELLONI my scooter. It'll make you a lot fasta.


Yes, it would definitely help him get PASTA but I will refrain from speculating what his friends would say if they saw him zipping around on a girl's scooter.


It is ok, even if you see an opportunity to make a controversial pun, to make a hard right turn and steer away from it. <3

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King Meatball needed an interpreter for his meating with the Italian King Alfredo. He pastad a help wanted sign around town:

Looking for a smart noodle who is bi-linguinial and can take the heat of boiling international strainers. Interviews being held on my yacht at the marinara.


Oooh. Aren't we saucey. Just boiling over with pasta puns.

Another glorious Punday Monday victory! Thank you, thank you! I'm glad to see that after all these weeks, I've STELLE got it.

My favourite Italian food Pasta be Spaghetti...


Spaghetti or not, here I come!

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MANICOTTI! ...Oh wait. I'm supposed to hide? I thought YOU were doing the hiding, and I was supposed to find YOU! Sigh.


This is what it's like playing hide and seek with a... 10 month old. OMG today is his 10 month birthday! That seems so old to me.


OMG, you need to keep those private details regarding names and dates under your CAPELLINI, ORZO-m MANICOTTI gonna use it to PASSATELLI some bad checks to get some DOUGH.


Please provide future updated in the latest "Current Open Contests" post

This contest is listed as a confirmation of my continued co-sponsorship of this contest.

Thank you!

Hello improv!

Congratulations! This post has been randomly Resteemed! For a chance to get more of your content resteemed join the Steem Engine Team

Hi improv,

Thank you for your entry in to #comedyopenmic comedy contest. We have asked the judges below to review your entry and give it a funny rating. (They generally have no sense of humor, as the saying goes, those that can't do, start contests and judge).
This will determine your ultimate position when the results are tallied. (That being said, you are free to adopt any position you wish - we can recommend pantsless with beer in hand.)


If you have any questions or queries please feel free to contact one of the judges or come say hi in discord: Click Here

Click To Vote @ComedyOpenMic For Witness And Disrupt The Steem Blockchain With Laughter!
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Thank you to @matytan for the great banner

My mother's pasta just won first place at the State Fair! She brought home an impressive TROFIE.


I'm learning about so many pastas!

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I just heard that the Houston Rockets are adding some gourmet food offerings for next season. Their feature dish is going to be CARAMELLE Anthony. Sounds like a slam dunk!