I Wish Your Mom was as Dumb as the Dog: The Tempest Papers, Letters from a Boat Cat

in #cats6 years ago

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Dear Paris,
Today I was having a nap in my favorite secret place when your mother disrupted my slumber with her damned camera. Can a cat not have some peace and quiet in the middle of the evening for a nap without humans feeling the need to stomp about on deck like they're trying to crush a herd of mice (holy crap, a herd of mice on board would be divine. I could so use a treat of SOME sort since all I get is dry cat food and the rice-slop that your mother tries to pass off as fish.)
Anyway, I was napping and having some sort of glorious dream when the STOMP STOMP abruptly brought an end to my dream state imaginings. I poked my head out of the sail cover (my aforementioned previously SECRET sleeping spot, now discovered and ruined by your MOTHER.) I was then further insulted when she laughed at me. She LAUGHED, Paris. AT ME.

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She apparently finds my half sleepy state of confusion to be humorous. She then took photos of me, all the while laughing about the look on my face. Nice. I bet she plans to put it on instagram, too. What the hell is with her and that camera?
The joke's on her, though. Tonight I am planning my grand revenge. I shall get all of the animals together once the humans are asleep and we will run roughshod over her cabin and hatch. I will probably trip the small dog up and throw her in through the hatch for good measure. We'll see who looks stupid when they're awakened out of a deep sleep.
If only I could figure out how to use the camera with no thumbs, I could take a photo of HER and post it on instagram. Damn it.
Wish me luck,
Tempest
Queen of the boat pets, Overlord of the floating Castle of 11 Purple Monkeys, In need of a new Secret naptime spot

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Read Previous Tempest Letters:

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Letter One: Stupid Human Tricks

Letter Two: Training Humans to Sleep

Letter Three: Catching a Monster!

Letter Four: The B*tch, Cinnamon

Letter Five: I’m a Contortionist!

Letter Six: The Cat Father: Kicking A$$ & Taking Names

Letter Seven:Throwback Thursday, Learning to Swim for My Life

Letter Eight: That #$%& Dog Wants to be my BFF

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Click the icons to read some of my other posts!

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How did I not know this was a thing! And an awesomesauce thing at that! Oh, and I think I've found a love connection...


via GIPHY

OMG! THAT GIF!!! No wonder you have a reputation!!! May I steal it? It is fabulous!!!

And yay!!! Thank you :)

Steal away! You should be able to download it from the linky thing under the gif. And you're very welcome - thanks in return!

Thanks for sharing @byn. So it's payback time for the cat which is going to be difficult with no thumbs to take that snapshot. If somehow the cat manages to do this, the cat wont need to worry about any back lash from mother cos after all he or she has nine lives.. I''l keep an eye on Instagram regardless.. hehe Take care @racykacy

Ha, that's a good point. Those nine lives are explaining some things to me that didn't make sense! :)

Thanks for the comment!

Your welcome--stay safe and well

This is really well done @byn - I love your design skills :)

Thank you! I'm slowly figuring it out as I go, but I do enjoy doing the design aspect a lot! I'm kinda old school in that I learned how to do this kind of thing way back before computers with scissors, glue, pencils and markers. OMG, I sound so OLLLLLD!

Thanks for the comment!

Yeah i wish..but no worry for that cat just feel free.great post to read enjoyed.n d resteemed

Siamese kittens are born white because of the heat inside the mother's uterus before birth. This heat keeps the kittens' hair from darkening on the points.

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