A Retreat Jouney : #8 Haunted Restaurant

macchiata (70)in #blog • 6 years ago

22 December, 2018

I suppose it’s around 9 am. I don’t know what time is it. I just saw the sun ray's illuminate the dandelion in the veranda. Today I woke up early. I decided to wake up, clean my room and went for a walk. I realized my phone service was finished. I needed to top up.

‘ Server’s down’ the young man from the counter said
‘ Okay’ I replied briefly.

I continued walking down the aisle trying to find something to grab. None sparked my interest. I tried every snacks in that aisle; every cookies,crackers, soft donuts even biscuits. Nothing new on the shelves, so I went out empty handed.On my way back, I felt horrible for the reason I walk this early morning.

December never feels this cold especially for the past two years. I had always been enthusiastic about it. Because there’s something to wait in January. But not this year, there is nothing great awaits me next January. Only couple of stress on soon being homeless, or I don’t know, the future seems very bleak to me at the moment. But trying to keep my head above the water, I am ready and positive. I am going to just save things I can, as much as I am able to save my life from completely ruined.

The thought of tedious school life haunted me during my morning walk. As I heard my stomach grumbling, I was wondering if the porridge stall had re-opened. Only later, I found it would be closed until the 1st of January. ‘ Oh well, I’ll have some cravings’ I said to myself.

I walked to my room feeling disgusted of my motivation this morning. I walked outside not because I want to but because there was this need to fill the worldly pleasure.

As I walked nearby the food stall just outside my apartment, I glanced at semi abandoned and dirty building. You will never imagine, people eat in such place.

I took out my phone, aimed at the kitchen, wondering ‘ has it been ghost who eat here?’ but no, I am more than convinced, the customers are human. It took me back to a conversation I had with numerous of uber drivers in the past.

‘ Oh, so you live there!’ the driver mostly said.

‘ yes, I live near that place’ I replied.

‘ I wonder why that eating place is popular, you can see there are fancy cars too’

‘ I don’t know. It’s strange. I tried to eat there. The oil was darker than sewer. They added god knows MSG’

‘ Exactly, perhaps that’s the reason people stay rich’

‘ but risking to die early’ I replied briefly.

I mostly avoid conversation about that phenomenal place in town. I happen to life just a minute away from it. So, people often ask me one or two things to satisfy their curiosity. I tried eating there, it was one of the most unhygienic place I’ve ever been my entire life.

As I reached my room, I began to put the kettle on. I opened my coffee container, and began my ritual. My coffee ritual. I am recently learning how to make coffee. I learned how to appreciate every drop and the art of patience. As I’ve got perfectly distilled coffee, I grabbed the book I am currently reading ‘ living without god’

I reached the chapter where it explains what does it mean to be dying without god and how we can approach death without promise of heaven and hell.

It laid out some insightful knowledge accompanied with stories. I was afraid and discontent. I possessed the characteristic of ‘ about to die.’ ‘ am I going to die sooner?’ I thought maybe because I had the same capabilities, physical abilities and endurance as someone in their sixty. I no longer remember much names, or something I got months ago. I don’t know dates, times if not there’s calender or someone reminds me. Those who are about to die naturally is whom ability slowly deteriorating. “ I am still young, I am even at my prime age” I thought. I convinced myself that I’ll live longer. However, with a positive note, the writer writes “ we can live the best of our life, today, now”

Notes :

I initially had the picture of the eating place but since my phone was wiped out and no back up, I lost it. I’ll probably get it again or maybe not. It was just creepy. It was still Saturday and everything was slowly getting more difficult.I was still following my routine, meditate three times a day but was hardly getting a good sleep. The next two days, I didn’t even have the energy to journal and slowly skipping some goods habit I developed

Stay tuned for the next following days. If you want to read the previous journey, check out the links below:

Signed, M

#journey #life #experience #spirituality

6 years ago in #blog by macchiata (70)

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A Retreat Jouney : #8 Haunted Restaurant

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