A retreat experience, what is it like living without internet connection ?

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28 December 2019

This was the last day of my retreat experience. The past ten days were difficult yet eye-opening. I lived with little to none human interaction, without gadgets and without connection for three days and the rest just limited consumption of things.I initially thought of doing ten days straight, but day by day it felt like I was only punishing myself. So, I had a break every now and then, with the total amount of rigidly following my rules for three days.

What did I do during those time? I slept a lot.

My daily routine will look like : wake up, meditate,going outside my room to read a book and enjoy nature back to my room, meditate, sleep, wake up, befriend with the walls until I fall asleep again and repeat. Then, the next morning I would really crave for connection and human interaction.For a moment, it felt I was living in a solitary confinement.To spice up those, I did not turn any lights too.I rely on nature's light, meaning, I would only read in the morning.Winter was slowly getting bleak and colder which made things even more challenging.On a positive note, I learned to control my emotions and desires.I learned that you need to do things in moderation. You can't deprive yourself or punish yourself the way I did.It's okay to have fun, to be with others, to taste world finest cuisines, to have a goal.

Why did I even do that to myself?

I was feeling discontented with how I personally behave and my overall outlook in the past year.I wasn't wise about creating a connection, about finance, about maintaining a relationship with friends.I was constantly anxious about things that might or might not happen. I never felt much anxious than the past few months.I was constantly consuming endless novel information, streaming videos like I was an addict. In short, I was a slave to my device.So,I want to take control of my life and time. Then, I cut back the source of my addiction, making them unavailable.It worked.

Now, in about three days, we will begin a new year.
I wish you begin the new year with a fresh outlook.
Leave the past behind, bury them, make a new resolution and work towards it.
When life gets into the way,master your cheat days and get back to your pathway.
So, by the end of next year, we'll have something new to learn and to be proud of.

I am currently compiling all of my journal entry in hope I can share my profound experience during those days.

Have a festive holiday !

Signed, M.