Enjoy Solitude

The more powerful and original a mind, the more it will incline towards the religion of solitude.
― Aldous Huxley

I was in a relationship for many years and I didn't really know how to live on my own. I just went from one relationship to another because I was afraid to be alone. I believe it is just the nature of human to seek a companion, to share good moments and to find someone to be complete. However, I realized that in order to be happy with others, I must learn how to be happy on my own first, to be whole. We were brought up by the society's conditioning that we need to demand happiness from other people, that if they fail to live up to our expectations, we become unhappy. When in reality, it is not their responsibility to make us happy, they are free to be themselves. It is easier to say especially if those we love are the ones to hurt us. It is our responsibility to awaken happiness within our hearts and understand people as they are.

I left a relationship even though it was very difficult for me. I knew that I would be totally alone as I didn't have many friends anymore, everyone in my circle seems to have moved on with their lives - families, kids, wives. Yes, I am unfortunate enough not to have a lot of close female friends in my life because most of the things I enjoyed doing when I was younger were more male hobbies and stuff. After the breakup, I was really doomed to be alone.

Then I woke up one day feeling refreshed. I just decided it was time to stop mourning and get a breath of fresh air. I didn't know what happened that time but I just learned how to control my thoughts and decided to list down the things I wanted to do in my life, number one on my list was to travel.

Traveling actually taught me how to be alone, to make choices and decisions. I was wild and free that I had forgotten about the things that made me sad. I learned how to treat each day as if it is my last and how to live my life to the fullest. I found out how I really enjoy being in nature more. I actually enjoy my own company now, and I feel like I have reached this kind of peace and equilibrium.

People frown at those who enjoy being alone, thinking they are just a bunch of sad hipsters who need some attention. Being alone and feeling lonely is different, the latter is an emotional state. To be alone and not feel lonely does not really happen to everyone. Most people just can't stand being alone especially if they grew up being pampered with full attention. To be alone without feeling lonely is actually possible and enjoyable for some people.

Loneliness is sometimes even brought to us by other people, especially if we are expecting them to behave the way we want them to be, forming this illusion of how we want to see them.

Solitude gives us the chance to explore ourselves, to reflect on our lives, to figure out what we really want to do and to rejuvenate. It is a beautiful thing.

If we like to truly enjoy someone's company, we must first learn how to cherish our solitude. If we give it a chance, then we can learn more about ourselves, replenish creativity and achieve true peace and happiness within.

I find it wholesome to be alone the greater part of the time. To be in company, even with the best, is soon wearisome and dissipating. I love to be alone. I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude.
― Henry David Thoreau