Miscalculation.

in #writing6 years ago (edited)

fading.jpg


Vledboog have been waiting for this moment for his entire life, which means more than a hundred million turns of the Schemvled, energy fountain and also the register of his civilization. He was the most outstanding cadet, in his mind only existed the main goal to prepare himself more than anyone, he felt confident but excited for his first mission. He was going to receive his initiation, the desired kronyan, the mantle which did separate the vled from the "worm". There were no possibilities for them, those who could not achieve this accreditation consumed his life and his body of subtle materials until completely degrade in the cosmic noise. The vleds who managed to pass the tests of gravitational inframetry, wave premonition and anti-matter condensation calculations between others, could become sowers and their life could be eternal along with that of the whole race, an error in sowing and the entire civilization would disappear.

The vledians in their evolution completed a stage visulized by an ancient premonition about how to defeat their main predators, the Time’s sons, which through the vledian body, they could found the way to get the aging power to degrade the organic forms, resulting in the desintegration of the vledian body. The vledians used Dravledomed, the "worm" hero, a vledian of the second category that now is believed receives all the worms' essences in the cosmic noise trying to create a better race. In that cycle of the Schemvled the most advanced consciences in the vledian field figured the way to seed a "corrupted second” in the body of Dravledomed, directly powered by the Schemvled, the intention was to find the anti-schem, the energy they predicted that would separate the entire civilization from Time influence. The sons of Time fall in the trap and lost a good source of power while the vledians won a new one, a better primary fuel for the Schemvled that reveled a new dimensional level for the vledians who since that moment were only perceived by complex entities and outside the Time system, which become the main tool for the Vled.

They took only few more cycles to discover the properties of the organic forms, which were the Time’s sons’ most precious treasure. Given that they did already have not influence in them, the vledians decided to compete with their ancient enemies for that resource. The Earth with its diverse organic life and precise intervals in the temporal mechanics was an oasis for them, because they could introduce a vled-second in the life of any organic being and harvest the energy of the accumulation of the dimensional possibilities generated by that sole second. The danger, if the organic being dies in the planted second, with him all the civilization and memory of the Vledians in the Universe.

The Elders, creators of the vled-second, choosen the Earth for Vledboog’s first mission, which was a bold decision according to other vledian stratus. They asked him to be wise in that planet full of death. And he promised to return full of Glory, and with enough “anti-schem” to pass through Eternity; for him and for all his race. He promised, he did have the schem-quanta to affirm it, that he would take the Earth from the Time’s sons for the Vled.

Vledbug was euphoric and wanted to sow in a human being, the recent species that was appearing on Earth with the highest level of anti-schem for that strange planet, something that no one else dared because of the high possibility to die for the human being. He stood observing the humans during a thousand Earth cycles, waiting patient but increasing his dimensional perspectives. However, Time was on Earth before than vledians, knowing that they could come in any moment. Discovering the possibility of Vledboog’s direction, the sons of Time decided to plant the “Idea” in the human’s essence, and letting things happen, they moved into silence.

Vledboog could see almost everything and determined that the couple of humans that he was following were out of any physical, dimensional or ethereal danger. And choose one of them. While Vledboog was about to embrace the human he was concentrated in the Glory of his vision in front of his kind. He completely enfolded the chosen one blinded to the heart of the other who did have a large animal bone in his hand. Vleedboog sowed the corrupted second in the same moment that a human killed a brother for the first time, striking hard on his head.

The blood of that human along with the feeling of his civilization disappearing was the last thing Vledboog did perceive. After that, just the fading of all the imagined Glory and something like a laught that he comprehended was from Dravledomed trapped before the portal that he was crossing in that moment, heading to nothingness.


This text is a translation and developement from a previous text in spanish presented to the "256 words" sci-fi writing contest organized by @Trenz for the spanish speaking community. You can check the original (Error de cálculo) in spanish >HERE<.


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@LeVeuf


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Thanks for yor revision of this post, @CessarEspinozaa, it's always appreciated!!
I send a big hug and the best wishes for all the projects!!

thank my friend we will be watching @leveuf

I greatly appreciate your attention and support for this post!!!
The best for all the team @Dropahead!!

@leveuf, I love how you always seem to tie your writings to the Biblical narrative in some way. That is no easy task, and you do it so skillfully!

I noticed one typing error which you might want to fix while you still can:

laught that he comprehend

  • laugh that he comprehended

I've upvoted and resteemed this article as one of my daily post promotions for the @mitneb Curation Trail Project. It will be featured in the @mitneb Curation Trail Project Daily Report for 01 MAR 2018.

Cheers!

I must say that this particular connection surge in the proces of developing the text in english, in the first version Vledboog and his civilization find their end in a city. I'm glad to tell you that more or less a half part of this text was originally written in english, and much of this it's thanks to you, @Mitneb, I always appreciate your great impulse an kind reviews!!!
I will correct inmediately the text @Mitneb!!! Thank you very much!!! :)
I send lots of big Hugs for every day, and of course Love and Light for every step in your way!!!
Cheers!!! :D

Quedé como el muñequito 3D que colocas al final :o

Hola amiga @fanish. Que gusto encontrarte aquí, visitando al excelente escritor y buen amigo @leveuf. Efectivamente, el relato que logró es excelente.

ajjajajaja sí siempre lo visito, aunque últimamente estoy bien corta de tiempo... Abrazos @mllg

¡Ese Vledboog se emocionó en exceso, y como todo exceso, acabó en ruina!
Que bueno que pasas por este ejercicio de "translation"... Es que ando organizando materiales de la bitácora. Pronto a clases!!! :)
Abrazote @Fanisk!!! :)

Alumna indisciplinada reportándose ;D

Yo soy el que te debo varias visitas, @Fanisk, me hace falta meterme más a @steemitficcion!! Pero sé que andas trabajando bastante y me da muchísimo gusto!! Abrazos enormes y todo el buen viento, por allá bien pronto te veo!! <3 :)

Tan bello como siempre @leveuf!!! Pues la verdad tengo un poco abandonadas las publicaciones en mi blog, solo hice un cuento hace aprox 2 semanas, ejejej de pronto te gusta ;D Y en steemitficcion si estoy publicando una exposición del libro «El Héroe de las Mil Caras» de Joseph Campbell. Y pues ya publicando mi novela en sweek. Aquí te dejo el link por si tienes tiempo de echarle una miradita https://sweek.com/story-dashboard/135025,1400000162 Espero pasar esta noche a leer mis lecciones de teatro y otras cosas que tengas publicadas <3 Abrazos!!!

Viniendo de ti... estoy segura que está genial, pero como mi inglés de bachillerato es muy básico jajajá; luego con calma me siento, lo traduzco y lo disfruto.<3
Un gran abrazo @leveuf y que tengas un día espléndido y divertido!

Me encanta que haya pasado a visitar este intento de traducción y desarrollo de un texto que tal vez ya conocías, pues lo presenté para los concursos de @Trenz, pero aquí está algo así como corregido y aumentado pero en inglés, el cual es un lenguaje que esta plataforma invita bastante, yo creo que sanamente si uno se lo propone, a practicar.
Te abrazo también, @Kristal24, entre tareas y actividades que se me van juntando, pero con todo el cariño de siempre. Que haya mucho Amor y Luz en este transcurrir de los días!! :)

Espectacularmente bueno. In English like in Spanish you write very well.
Congrats, friend @leveuf

Paso después de un rato largo a agradecerte la visita, @Mllg, pero no creas que por eso con menos agradecimiento y alegría por tus palabras y aliento siempre motivantes. Me he decidido poner a la tarea de practicar el inglés el cual es tan usual como medio de comunicación por gente de todos los países en esta plataforma, y creo que todos tenemos ejercicios en español que podríamos desarrollar en el otro idioma!! No sé, se me ocurrió!! :)
I send a strong Hug, @Mllg, wishing all the best for you and every project. I'll be glad to continue finding you here and there!! Cheers!!! :D

Gracias querido amigo @leveuf. Excelente idea. Lograste dos objetivos en esta creación, el uso del inglés (no soy experta, pero creo que muy bien) y ampliar el mundo de la historia, enriqueciéndola con matices imposibles dentro del marco 256. Sin quitarle el mérito de compactación de ideas que dicho marco logra.
Un abrazote y que Dios te conceda lo mejor de lo mejor

¡¡Te agradezco mucho esta apreciación y tus buenos deseos, @Mllg!! Que para ti sea también todo bendiciones en el camino!! Más abrazos!!

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