I support #womenspeakout #teamgirlpowa 100% OF THE SBD PAYOUT OF THIS POST DONATED TO @TEAMGIRLPOWA
Why don't more men speak out for women's rights?
I know many men, myself included, who like to think they treat women as human beings with equal rights and sexual agency. I know very few of these men have spoken out publicly in support of women's rights, myself included before now.
Is it enough to just personally "be a good guy"? I do not think so. In a perfect world, men would not have to speak out in support of women's rights just like women would not have to. Because women would have equal rights in this perfect world. The right to not be raped. The right to not be drugged. The right to not be sexually harassed. The right to equal pay for equal work. The right to political representation. The list goes on.
Am I mansplaining this?
You see, what the ladies need is a man to swoop on in here and explain this feminism stuff :)
I hope I can navigate the shoals of being a cisgender white male talking about feminism and women's rights without totally embarrassing myself. I am not an expert in feminist theory nor a particularly politically active individual. I am pretty acutely aware of my male privilege. I am absolutely willing to stop and listen and I invite a conversation in the comments.
This next bit is directed at the fellas
You may not think you are privileged. You may in fact point to things in your life as reasons that you are not privileged. The truth is on a daily basis you have many privileges based on your male gender, and the privilege of being unaware of your male privilege is actually one of them. While male privilege extends so far beyond "just" sexual assault, I do not think you have to look farther than rape to settle this male privilege debate.
One in five women and one in 71 men will be raped at some point in their lives
Did you ever think of not being raped as a privilege? Isn't that fucked up?
91% of the victims of rape and sexual assault are female, and 9% are male
In eight out of 10 cases of rape, the victim knew the person who sexually assaulted them
Male privilege is real, and one of those privileges is not having to be afraid of a man following you and sexually assaulting you, or a male "friend" sexually assaulting you. But these are just the most blindingly obvious examples. Do check out this more comprehensive list of male privileges with sources.
So you are aware of your male privilege... what now?
I think an important first step for any man to take is to listen to the women in his life. Guys the bad news is that every woman you know can tell you a story about times she has had to deal with male privilege in a negative sense. The good news is you can listen and learn.
You can also speak out in support of women yourself. I have two sons age 3 and 1. I would love for there to be more positive male role models for them. If you have children yourself, take a look at the boys and girls toys and clothes the next time you are at the store. Shoot, look at Amazon. There are so many systems working together in our society to enforce normative gender roles of aggressive masculinity and submissive femininity. It is not enough to just be a good guy in the face of this. It is going to take action by men and women alike to bring change. Guys I call on you to take action by publicly supporting women and women's rights.
Manlistening
I know the #womenspeakout movement is about a lot more than just speaking out against sexual assault. I am here to listen to the women of the Steem blockchain and the women of planet Earth beyond, and I am here to support. I am not here to stand behind you or in front of you. I am not here to tell you how to do it. I am here to stand next to you and look across to you.
I want to thank in particular @limabeing for calling me out in the most delightful way I could imagine and @katrina-ariel for kicking off the #womenspeakout posting.
Putting my STEEM/SBD where my mouth is
I delegated 200 SP today to @teamgirlpowa in support of women posting on Steem. I pledge 100% of the SBD payout of this post to @teamgirlpowa as well. Don't be shy with the upvotes :)
Why Team Girl Powa?
Team Girl Powa is awesome and inclusive and 100% worthy of support. From the Team Girl Powa "Community Guidelines" (posted in #why-girl-power in the Team Girl Powa Discord server):
This is a group of awesome human beings that support and respect women. We as a group and individuals are expected to believe in and openly support this concept, the value of girl power, gender equality, race equality, lgbtqinb rights, and be open to helping empower women.
I know this to be true and am proud to support Team Girl Powa!
Much love - Carl
Thank you for speaking out on behalf of women. And thank you for being willing to admit that male privilege is a thing. Half the battle is getting people to admit that women are not treated equally and we have to deal with struggles and hardships that most men will never understand. We have a long way to go before we reach full equality but posts like this help get us one step closer. I hope more men are inspired to speak out on our behalf like you have. This isn’t just a battle for women to fight alone. We need the support from the male community if we ever want to see our dreams of a world where women get the respect and treatment that every human deserves come to fruition. Thank you for recognizing this.
Thank you for articulating this so well. You have 100% captured my reasons for posting. BTW I found your talented and lovely wife the other day while looking through new posts and she is pretty amazing as well :) Happy to see you here on my blog.
Much love - Carl
I am happy to be here and look forward to following your content!
@carlgnash, I'm thrilled to hear your voice in the #womenspeakout tag — thank you @limabeing for inviting this kind of discussion. In the original WSO post the guidelines were set for only women could post to the tag (I thought that was the vision at the time), but I wish I could go back and edit that to say "Everyone who wants to speak up for women, please do!!!"
It can be hard to come to terms with privilege, especially when it's something you take for granted, or when you have also come from hardship. All of us have challenges, and yet some of us have it easier than others because of who we are. I've become more aware of my own privilege as a white woman, and purposely try to uplift diverse voices to bring balance to this. I think awareness comes in layers, and the more diverse voices we listen to, the broader our perspective.
Though I can speak out freely here, when face to face with a man abusing his privilege (generally unknowingly), I shrink and hide, hurt and anger eating me from the inside. I think we need more men speaking out for women, because many men are so programmed to disregard the voices of women it may be the only way this issue can really change is if male voices help it to do so. Thank you so much for posting this!
Thanks for your awesome posting in #womenspeakout! And for being awesome in general :) I had been thinking about posting in support of TeamGirlPowa for a while anyway, and when I saw #womenspeakout I asked Lima about men posting with that tag. It wasn't clear to me from your original post if men were welcome to use it but I was encouraged by Lima's response and now again by your response here as well :)
Much love - Carl
Damn, dude. You really take a challenge and run with it. You know whats nuts? I've been afraid to be this full on about my feminism ideals. To become fully political rather than fun political , which girl powa often leans towards, is scary! This is especially true when you read 2-3 antifeminist posts that are labeled #feminism everyday.
We just want to put some good stuff out there. We wanted to be inclusive not just because we need you to be our "hero" but because as a rare male feminist ( im gonna say that now) and fulltime dad hero YOU NEED US TO HONOR YOUR RADICAL LIFESTYLE in this face of toxic/aggressive masculine shaming.
Society is all of us. Power is the ability to enact change among us. Moreso than steem, you have given us, given me , a huge hope and inspiration to further help create a better , more just , and more diverse blockchain society!
SWEET!!!! I got the GIRLPOWA BADGE!!! I have made it :) All the love for you @limabeing and Team Girl Powa <3
Well deserved sir
Thanks for this post, and for the opportunity to donate a full upvote to my pals at @teamgirlpowa. I'm donating %25 of the SBD from this post to the group.
thank you for saying this. i try not to put too much energy into the times I was taken advantage of by men at work, their anger when I didnt accept advances, the raises I never got, the jobs I was qualified for that went to men. It's status quo, even today. I hope one day it will change.
I know what kind of society I was brought up in and how men were taught to behave and believe just as much as women were forced to accept that this is how it is. I have fought sexual discrimination my whole life without getting on any bandwagon because guess what? women on bandwagons are called dirty names by men so that men can avoid having to face the issues.
I also know that my experience is just a drop in the bucket compared to other women who weren't as lucky, who couldn't avoid an encounter. I read with pain the reality of women in third world countries sold off, forcibly circumcised, married, mutilated, because of the beliefs and customs in that culture. And there's a weird ironic knowing part of me that feels lucky that I was born a white woman in North America.
I am a survivor of childhood molestation and adult rape several times over. My niece is also a survivor, by a church pastor. Several friends of mine have similar stories.
I try not to let it affect me, but it does, just like it has affected my niece for years. She is 16 now, and went from being a happy vivacious girl into a reclusive fearful one. I won't force the issue on anyone, but I'm proud to speak out.
I love you @torico <3 Thank you for sharing this here as well
Such an important topic, and as a man helping to raise 8 daughters, it has become much more poignant as I accepted the role of being a dad. We need to fundamentally retool how men approach women. Primarily, men need to lose the selfishness that tends to poison their brains and is reflected in their actions. They need to stop profiting by compensation inequalities in the work place. Many will talk some eloquent smack, but giving up coin to level the pay scale can often result in empty words and unfulfilled promises. Probably worse is sacrificing their own selfishness pleasure desires to ensure their actions aren't demeaning or degrading or hurting women. If Everman was reprogrammed in his personal selfishness, then I believe there would be more passion toward thwarting the monsters, who are not merely acting for self gain, but are evil and damaging our friends, wives, sisters, and daughters for their sick and demented exhibition of power over another. This is not okay. There must be a fire ignited under our willingness to snuff out abuse at any level. Men should rally with women to the call of the distressed, abused, and injured and correct the problem...with a ferocity that reflects the belief than none deserve abuse. It is obvious that the systems in place do not protect women. The sick and deranged aren't deterred. Nobility must rise up in people to the point we care enough to step in to create a level of deterrence in all cultures, despite any personal cost, so that evil is no longer willing to raise it's head. So, while my daughter's and wife and family members are comforted to know that while my boys and I live, we will not tolerate abuse in their lives, I wonder what we as a society are willing to sacrifice, as individuals, so that all people can live safely?
8??!?!? Wow!!! Busy couple! :P ty so much for your support! followed
We stay busy. Twelve total. Six are of our own making and six were chosen and have blessed us more than we could ever return. 8 girls, 4 boys, diverse, full of passion, and my reason for waking up each day.
Epic!!!
Thanks @drwillwho. If I remember right you and your family are strong in the Christian faith - I only mention this because I think this issue is absolutely a Christian issue as well. Christ would not and did not treat women differently and one of my favorite parables is the anointing of Jesus by Mary (and not the virgin one neither). So thank you for being a positive example of the Christian spirit in action :)
Much love - Carl
You are way too kind, and I'll be extremely reluctant to accept much credit when I have been guilty of so much and continue to struggle. However, I do try to help and provide for those I interact with and have reached a point where I feel I am very willing to sacrifice for others. Bullying of any kind infuriates me and I have no use or patience for the unkind.
Thank you!
I wish I could upvote this 10000000000000000000000000% because it's not every day you see a man put his money where his mouth is, let alone on the topic of giving women the floor. Thank you for putting yourself out there, for your obvious commitment to a future of equality, and for supporting women on Steemit! 💓
Awww thanks Amelia! One of my sisters is named Amelia :) It is a great name <3 Nice to meet you here today
If actually more men can speak for women, there won't be anything like Gender inequality.
Speak with and speak up about , you mean? :) ;)
Or maybe if more men defended womens right to speak for themselves.
Right. That is what carl is doing here and i believe thats what vincent meant
Those statistics are awful, especially because they aren't only horribly high (any number, in truth, is not a good number) but because behind those statistics are real people whose lives have been irrevocably changed in some way, and not of their own volition.
There are many different levels that sit under the umbrella of sexual assault and none of them are pleasant to experience. Truth.
Thank you for your wonderful post. :)
Truth! The spectrum of inequality is staggering. Respect, sister.
Wow, @carlgnash. So very well said. I’m sure it was not easy to write this post. The issues are so incredibly fraught with land mines that even coming out with well thought out statements of support can feel risky, especially (I imagine) for a guy. This sounds like a wonderful initiative, and I look forward to learning more, and happily support with my uovote.
The more guys who get the depth and breadth of the challenge, the more it may be possible for us to arrive one day at a more enlightened and positive homeostasis. Right now it’s a challenge to find common ground, and a healthy way to even discuss the issues. You’ve done such a wonderful job of capturing them.
I have never been raped, but have dealt with a wide spectrum of harassment up to and including events that felt life threatening. I joined Steemit around the time the “me too” movement started, and I wrote a post to share my stories. (If anyone is interested, they can read it here. The point of it was to illustrate the number and variety of ways one average woman is accosted. I am not exceptional. But all those things and more have happened to little old me. They are just a selection of the most startling examples.
Thank you again for this great post. I hope it makes a lot of money for the cause and opens more eyes.
Yes exactly @jayna and well said. The point is that most women have stories like this. And I thank you again for sharing yours, in your post previously and again here. Much love - Carl
I wish it was not so. But yes, I think most women have stories. And some have many.