Dealing with friends and faux friends in Life & SteemitsteemCreated with Sketch.

in #vlog7 years ago

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Friends. We can't live in this world alone.

I mean we could, but it would be a lonely darn place.

Hard topic to share

I fought back and forth on whether or not I wanted to discuss this topic. I know from talking with quite a few people that maybe this is something that needs to be discussed at least a little bit. Check out my vlog and continue to read this post for stuff that isn't included.

Vlog on Friendship:

Friendship as an adult can be hard

Personally, I have moved so many damn times. So everywhere I go I have to meet new friends. Not always as easy as it seems. I have met quite a few people that I have connected with over the years, but very few that end up staying permanently as friends, mainly because we just live far from each other, have nothing in common really tying us, or to be honest we weren't really friends, to begin with, more of just "proximity friends". When I say I have moved a lot I mean on average I move once a year. For the first time in my adult life, I have lived in one place for longer than that, which is now. However, whether you more or you stay it can be the same difficulty. We can often find ourselves feeling lonely or with no one to really connect to because the friends we have are not necessarily quality friends.

Internet Friends count as Friends.

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[Pixabay - Royalty Free Image]

If Steemit has taught us anything, Friends are Friends, no matter where you are or they are. I will be honest, I met my husband online. I got a chance to connect with him a bit on there and then we hit it off and have been together ever since (with ups and downs of course but we are sharing a life together). However, not once did I really ever search to meet new Friends on the internet. I had this silly misconception at times that these people would not really be Friends. I could not have been more wrong. You know why? Because first of all even the fact that people are on Steemit is a commonality, so Yay! First thing in common out of the way. Secondly, this is a site to blog on, so you are literally learning about people, reading about people, seeing who they really are. Thirdly and lastly, I have found that honestly, I get to know people a bit quicker on here. I think partly the reason for that is the fact that they can feel comfortable typing it out, taking their time, and for some maybe not even seeing other people's faces makes them more comfortable. I feel like when it comes to being in person people can get some misconceptions about how they should be in front of others and the face they need to show. Often times I find people tend to be more themselves when they are able to write out what they want to say.

Proximity Friends are an option, but it doesn't necessarily point to quality.

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[Pixabay - Royalty Free Image]

I am a stay at home mom. We are a one car family by choice so of course, I am home the majority of the time. We also live in a neighborhood so my kid can play with other kids outside. We were one of the first people that moved in on our street as we are in a new development which is only a few years old now. So, when we finally had more kids moving in around us it was like kids in a candy store, for all of us. We had very excited neighbors wanting to make friends with us and everything so it was fun. However, we were making friends in the mode of proximity only. Our kids got along which was great, and they still do which is great. However, when you make friendships on proximity alone, they are not really friendships in most cases. In most cases, it tends to be people that are close to you that really the only thing tying you together is where you live. These relationships have a much harder time because you are not choosing your friends wisely. I am very different from the people that live around me. For one, My family and I are from Canada, not the United States where we currently live. We have different interests and don't tend to get too much into neighborhood drama or have a "keeping up with the Jones" mentality. We are also a mixed race family, and we believe that one of the neighbors at least might be a tad racist. So as the group started to grow a bit you start to notice the differences more and more. I am okay with that. I do feel though that it is starting to grow apart a bit, I am also okay with that because I think we are just forcing ourselves to be friends.

But, it gets you thinking about things a bit more.

You are worth more than staying in one-sided friendships

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[Pixabay - Royalty Free Images]

One-sided friendships are friendships where one person is doing the majority in the friendship. It is where one friend is more excited, more dedicated to the friendship. If you are the one on the one side being a friend while the other is kind of sucking at being a friend in all regards, then honestly you deserve better. There are many people out there and you just have to find some new ones. Let people see the awesomeness that is YOU. I know that times like that can make people feel closed off and be more cautious towards new people and friends and not share themselves, but I also have to say try not to do that. It can hurt thinking you have a friend and it turns out you are the only one in it. So, move on. Allow yourself that freedom. Or if you can't do that for one reason or another then stop trying as much and use the friendship for the utility it provides.


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That's all I wanted to share for today.

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Thank you to all of the Friends I have already met on Steemit and I hope to meet more as well. Thanks for watching my video and reading my blog.

As usual, Stay Awesome Steemians!

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Don't forget to check out my Art Contest

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Check out some more of my recent posts

What I am working on lately

Keep a look out for the girls with the boots #MOTU images

#MOTU TeelaKpop heads towards Windemere

300 Followers! I appreciate you all so much so thank you

How I am getting more people onto the dark side

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Awesome post and opening up by you
I fully agree friendship has to be a two way street but sadly many fail to see that

We do have a bit in common I have moved a lot since about 18 not as frequent as you but till we moved to where we live now I have moved at a minimum every two years it does make it hard to develop good friends but in a way I am lucky I worked in a company where those moves were common and living conditions were fairly rough for many years and that fostered good friendships that were two way

I also met my wife online she was in Spain and me in Bosnia but we chatted and talked so much so that when we meet the first time it was like we had known each other for ever 😎

Ok that’s enough rambling from me

What a wonderful story about how you met your wife. 8 love that, it's like we had known each other for ever, that is so sweet. My husband and I didn't talk too much before we met but we wouldn't have met otherwise because we would never have crossed paths (just like how you two life in separate places). I am glad that even though you moved so much and know you have been all over the world, that you also ended up finding some really good friends.

I have enjoyed getting to know you and thanks so much for sharing all that 😀

:)
The funny thing is I think the people who I have clicked with on here in a few short weeks actually know me so much more that people I have been in contact with o oter social media sites for years

Its the sense of community on here makes one before open about their feelings and thoughts i believe

Isn't it amazing how that happens? I fully agree with that myself. It's just so different from
Other venues and it's almost bringing a bit of like minded individuals together in a way. I can agree with that as well.

Great we are on Synch with this :)

Have a great day

Thank you for being so open and honest. We share a lot more than I thought. No wonder I like you so much 😉

I dont drive so Im home all the time too. But i like it that way. I often wonder what it will be like with the baby and having to meet proximity people... I'm not good around people I dont like lol

I love how you say.. Give yourself that freedoom.

I say, if they dont see you for the awesome human being that you are - They can roll on..❤

Haha this is why I like you so much too. I love that you say they can roll on. Yes proximity people can be tough and definitely much more difficult with a kid because their hearts are generally so pure, open, loving, and accepting and the adults are the ones that cause that to change.

I'm not gonna lie I'm not great around people I don't like either. If I don't end up liking you or whatever the case you will know it, but comes in different forms for me lol.

Stop blogging about me!!@topkpop 😂

Canadian, mixed race fam, move a lot, internet friends are friends, one family car. You summed up about me and my life too 😂😂

But yeah, definitely agreed on your writing . spot on!

Haha wow so many commonalities it's funny! Plus on top of that I can see we also like food (since you make delicious things too). That is very awesome. Thanks for your stuff about yourself 😀

Who doesn't like food @topkpop ???? 😂😂😂

Haha so very true.

Awesome post beautiful 😊 I had no idea you've moved that much.
Friendship is hard like you said, I have come across a few of those takers not givers and a true friendship is a two way street and meet halfway.
You are so amazing and deserves the best in life and I'm so happy to have gotten to know you 🤗
Thank you for sharing and open up. 😚

Yes for one reason or another my life has included a lot of moving. Some has been just around a big big city and others have been very spread out across countries or states and such.

I am happy to have gotten to know you as well. You have such a beautiful soul and deserve the best as well. Yes the takers can be tough to deal with for sure, and the best we can do is to continue to be open and be us 😀 I can do nothing but seem to be me and be open lol. Thanks for talking to me even about this stuff too 😀

I always talk to you and like I said I love you for you and nothing you ever say or do will change that 😚 I'm glad we can share everything and can't belive how much same thought we have 🤗
I'm honored to be soul sisters 😁😁hahaha

you both are lovely... @bearone too... Glad I have met you :-)

cya sweeties

Thank you sweetie 😆 glad to have met you to 🤗

This is very important that friendship is a two way street. I see many people who stay in one sided friendships and just let people walk all over them.

It makes me sad, but they generally don't want my opinion so I just keep it to myself.

it's very hard to watch people go through that. Sometimes I think maybe those people either don't fully know it or just are too scared to end those types of friendships for many different reasons. It can be hard admitting you are in one-sided friendships, especially if it had happened a few times because I think people blame themselves and perhaps doubt their worth when it has nothing to do with that.

Thanks for your comment, it is so important for people to have healthy two way relationships, the alternative is much more harmful to our souls I believe. You sound like one that would stand up for yourself, good job on that.

Wow I can't believe how much you've moved around.

It is definitely a lot. Some have been around different areas of a big big city while others have been states and countries. Interesting though none the less.

While we have different lives I too have moved a lot and I know what you're talking about here. You're right steemit (or more importantly discord) has been awesome for making new friends. I think I speak to you guys way more than my real life friends these days.

Haha yes that last part is definitely the same for me. I fully agree that the addition of discord has definitely helped so much. I met you there 😀

You are so right about friendships being hard to develop as an adult.
I recently started at a new workplace after being in a very toxic workplace. It has taken me months to even start to connect with other people. I still feel somewhat hyper vigilant in workplaces.

Sorry to hear that you were dealing when a toxic environment recently, those are tough situations. Glad to hear it sounds like you are in a better place now but of course it would make you extra vigilant. I hope you come across some better people to get to know where you are now. 😀

I have started to make some solid friends there. Which is good. I think a lot of them see that I am a little damaged, and trying to find my way back to a new normal.

do you have any good websites to recommend to watch k-pop music videos I only watched it once at a korean bbq restaurant the videos are so cool.

I honestly watch them on YouTube because their companies all have YouTube accounts and release them straight there. Here are some of the largest labels and their YouTube profiles:
YG ENTERTAINMENT
SM ENTERTAINMENT
CUBE ENTERTAINMENT
And a small but good company because they represent BTS who is a prominent group in the industry:
BIGHIT ENTERTAINMENT
Those will have all the largest videos from their artists. There are more companies but these are a few who who will get you started. 😀

thanks for the links

Sure! I'm a huge kpop fan. Would love to know which videos end up being your favorite. If you like blackpink (the above gif) then check out As if it's your last. Great song

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