Untalented | Amazing adjustments that have happened to my life since I found steemit

The title should've made this post easy to write. There are at least a hundred amazing adjustments that Steemit had given to thousands of Steemians directly or indirectly. I asked myself thusly: what are the amazing adjustments that happened to you since finding Steemit?


As I set about trying to write down an answer, I realized I didn't know where to begin. I began thinking: Wait... how does one quantify amazing anyway? Change being constant, how do I pick what change can pass off as amazing? Which change do I extol?

Hours flew by and all I wrote was the title. This should've been a no-brainer. The question was subjective, personal. There were no right answers, only honest ones. But I realized, perhaps therein lies my hurdle.

Confused? Let me take you through a stroll down my Steemit memory lane.

I signed up early in June 2017 but never got around to using the account until weeks later. When I did, I was a sparse poster. It may come across lazy however, it's more of a health issue. And it came down to either exploring the site or writing.

I chose exploration.

The concept of cryptocurrency was new to me, much less a social media grounded in something called a blockchain. I was Alice in Steemit Cryptoland. But about a month later, I suddenly left.

It was because of my health flare-ups. Between the doctors and more meds, I was drained. It was a chore living through the day. At that time, there was no room for anything else. The month I was active, someone died from my support group. It wasn't new. And each month, it repeated until I stopped wanting to get any news. I sank deeper into hopelessness. Would it be me next time? It was always like this. You'd think you're feeling better and the next you could be in the hospital.

From experiences, October and November were traumatic and dangerous months. But December... It had its own story. Unable to quell my mounting restlessness, I went back to Steemit December 2017 and freed my mind.

I half-feared the response - almost changed my mind even. But when I hit 'post', I opened myself up irrevocably. It was a strange feeling, a tad difficult to describe. It would be cliché to say 'freeing' but it's close. Nothing changed. What happened in my past was still there. But I managed to look through it again as if in Dumbledore's Pensieve.

With that done, I searched for the people I once knew, leaving holiday greetings to them on discord. I only found a handful and even less replied. And then, there was more to re-learn (and learn) in order to navigate through Steemit.

In the past week, a lot felt different. Am I rambling? I promise I'll make sense soon.

So, what are the amazing adjustments that have happened to my life since I found Steemit (again)? A lot. Why was it difficult to answer earlier?

It's because I'd need to delve deep for an answer. More than the obvious financial freedom Steemit could give me, I gained something more. I had amazing adjustments that I didn't realize I had until I tried to write this. The rambling was my walkthrough into organizing my thoughts, my reflection of the past few months.

Despite being in a support group, I rarely shared about myself. It's always a quick, "Oh, I got diagnosed December 2008". There was nothing else I could say that would be new to them because we were the same. Yet in that likeness, I felt restricted and alone. It felt as if saying my thoughts and feelings would come across as redundant. And so, I learned to keep a lot in.

But through Steemit, I felt the relief of talking about what's on my mind. I learned that it's alright to be weak, to let people see me weak (even for a moment). Yes, I lost friends. But the few left made being here worth it. I'm not socially adept. However, Steemit became a medium of breaking barriers, made it easier to find friends anywhere in the world. And regardless of our differences, I felt a sense of belonging. I felt normal.

How do I say this without sounding overly emotional and idealistic? How do I answer a direct question with vague and intangible answers?

I'm not sure. But this - however lacking my attempt is in expressing my answer - is all there is for now. No tales of achievements or gifts to myself and the people around me. Rather, my "amazing adjustment" post admits my being lacking and receiving deeply personal gifts I should nourish and treasure. My amazing adjustment is re-discovering hope, tasting courage, and glimpsing freedom. It is finding commonality where there is none at face value. And most of all, it is in wanting to dream of a better life once again.

Thanks for reading. :)

P.S. That's a throwback picture of the last time I was on NGT. Click on the picture for the source (as usual) except for the last one.

Sort:  

Thouroghly enjoyed reading this post. Glad to see STEEMIT helping you emotionally. Writing definitely helped me ( I mean I don't post it here ) but when work pressure gets to me I write in a notebook and just pour in what I'm feeling.

We definitely don't know each other and are living on different circumstances , but I somehow felt I can relate to you. I really enjoyed your writing style and look forward to reading more from you.

Glad to see people like have been coming to steem and sharing themselves , weakness and all to the open. I'm not fond of doing myself but am amazed of people who do. You are awesome! Good luck and keep your chin up! :)

Thank you :) I only did one personal post before this as I mostly wrote what I could manage. That being poetry. I'm glad writing helps you, too. I hope to read about it someday (I checked your blog out). As for relating... exactly what I felt here reading other blogs and talking on discord. I found that, sometimes, not everything has to align perfectly for it to feel the same. Once again, thank you for reading and thank you for the kind words :) May you find the courage to share yourself more in the future!

Tnx for upvote.

I admire the way you write and the words you used. I wish I could write like that and be that creative. You definitely have the talent. Thank you for sharing about yourself in a very beautiful way. I hope everything is well with you.

Keep on inspiring us, "ma'am" ;)

Weh, ma'am! You're creative and talented. I even shared your post to my brother as the pictures caught his eye. I have a lot to learn from you and other writers here. But thank you for reading this and leaving encouraging words. P.S. Ma'am na talaga?

Haha salamat din :) Kc nirerespeto kita dahil isa kang mahusay na makata. tska mas mahaba itype ung @unspeakableme :p

I don't know where to start sister.
I'm proud of you. I'm ecstatic to meet you . A horizontal, cautious not to expend my precious energy and cortisol kind of ecstatic.
A freaken contrast to my personality.
Great post.
Resteemed of course. You can find me on Discord GirlBefore#7455 or steemchat girlbeforemirror

Thank you :) I'm happy that you sound quite happy and lively. If it's because of my post, then I'm truly flattered. I hope to keep making you feel that way. Thank you for always being kind to me. I'll catch you on discord for sure :)

I am fairly new to steemit, only got involved in November, and still have a huge amount to learn about how to navigate here.
I am just seeing your posts today for the first Time. (think I commented that on another one of your photos and poems).
From what I've seen so far, this is a great creative outlet and a release for a lot of people searching for and escape or outlet for that creativity.
It was wonderful to see the diversity and worldwide responses here.
Best of luck on your journey!

I am ReSteeming this.

This might be a bit late but welcome to Steemit! :)

Thank you for taking time to read this and even leave me a comment. I know what you mean about diversity. It's amazing how many stories (fiction and otherwise) you can come across here and how vastly different each mindset can be. Too much to learn not only from the platform but from the people in the platform. It's a journey, that's for sure. Good luck on your journey as well. And again, thank you :)

We all have our own issues and I am not a great, consistent poster either, but we do what we can. We can see what is happening here on this platform and e get a lot of support here. You don't get that on other ones. Now that your feeling better, go ahead and reach for the stars. The moon is too close! 😊

Thank you :) Very sound advice! Love the way you worded it btw <3

This post has received gratitude of 0.71 % from @appreciator thanks to: @unspeakableme.

Sneaky Ninja Attack! You have been defended with a 2.93% vote... I was summoned by @unspeakableme! I have done their bidding and now I will vanish...Whoosh

This post has received a 3.19 % upvote from @upmyvote thanks to: @unspeakableme. Send at least 1 SBD to @upmyvote with a post link in the memo field to promote a post! Sorry, we can't upvote comments.

You got a 1.97% upvote from @postpromoter courtesy of @unspeakableme!

Touching, really happy I'm learning here, well done dear

Thank you :) I hope you enjoy your stay here in Steemit.

Coin Marketplace

STEEM 0.29
TRX 0.12
JST 0.034
BTC 64158.52
ETH 3293.13
USDT 1.00
SBD 4.46