ULOG #2 : Reaction Vs Response

Now that little Chapati has started school this year...or it is kindy? School holidays are now very treasured. However, they will end tomorrow and I felt like I didn't get to do much with him at all. I have missed precious time doing things as a family. It is a time that doesn't have schedules to adhere to and we could just chill....except for the fact that I am working full time and it so happens to be a super peak period for the company. Also the renovations for my new office space in KL Sentral if finally kicking off. I ranted in my first ulog about my new office space and landlord so I am glad that it has all worked out in the end.

So on Tuesday night just passed, my left molar cracked at the side, right through to my gums. If you are wondering, yes it does hurt. I texted my dentist that I urgently needed to see her the next day however, she responded that she would not be at her clinic for the next two days because she would be working out of a different clinic. Of late getting an appointment with her is like scoring a 4D ticket win. I knew there and then that I had to find another more reliable dentist. I remember chatting with @joannewong over lunch a couple of weeks ago as she had shared her experience at the government dental clinic. Cost her something like RM4 for a check and teeth scaling. I quickly texted her and got the details. Went to the office the next day, settled all my stuff and rushed over at about 11.30 am. I was the last one to be seen. I was told to come back the next day because it was already lunch time and the treatments are usually in the morning.

Being the good citizen, I came back very early the next day as I really wanted to get my tooth fixed, however, when I was called to register, I was told that my below knee length dress was not appropriate because it was too short! The nurse then told me with a condescending tone of voice with me that they were many men around and I would be required to lie down flat exposing my delicate parts. I told her clearly that my skirt was way below my knees and her response was that I should go downstairs and buy a pair of pants because too many men would be privy to a "show". When I asked her what dress code I was violating she asked me to see for myself on the announcement board.

My first reaction was of course indignation and outright anger, however, my children and husband were with me and I thought losing it would be a bad example. So I sucked it up and just had my kids and hubby treated. I would come back the next day.

Felt like hitting her...

It was easy to react and think the worst of that person. Maybe I should have given her benefit of the doubt, maybe she was really looking after my womanly dignity... Or was she a racist bigoted b#&@% who could not stand the fact that I could wear a decent dress that showed my ankle and a little of my calf and still require treatment from a government clinic?

Honestly in hindsight if I had responded rather than reacted, I believe I would have done the following:

1. Calmly and firmly tell her that she was wrong about the dress code.
2. Take the dress code pictures from the pinboard and ask her to point out where I was wrong for her to deny me treatment.
3. Then I would have insisted that she register me and let me get treatment
4. Furthermore, I had been there the day before, and I would have told her my observation that all the chairs the patients were sitting on are facing a partition wall, the men who are in there are too busy getting treatment anyway so looking up my skirt was not really on their agenda and that my womanly dignity was in fact very well taken care off without her overt concern.
5. I would finish up by telling her that she should have more compassion as people who come to the clinic for treatment do have to work for a living. Her bad attitude stems from the fact that she is government servant and does not have to worry about job security and medical costs. Even when she retires, she would receive a pension for the rest of her life. Mind you, all paid by MY TAX DOLLARS!

By that time I think she would have registered me. If she still did not, I would calmly stand my ground and ask her again to register me and let me get treatment or ask her superior or a doctor to make a decision on whether my dress code was against the rules or not.

Finally, if all else does not work I would calmly ask her to show me her full name and then jot it down to make a written complaint to the Ministry of Health about her bad attitude and denial of my treatment.

So what does it mean to respond? To listen and take things as they are. To stop and think through a situation. I was so clouded by anger. I thought the worst about her and immediately lost my ground. I not only did not get treatment, I had to come back again the next day, and on top of that, go home seething with "righteous" anger. You know, the kind that you feel like kicking yourself and the myriad of should have, could have and would have...the kind that eats at you until you find something else to unleash it on... The kind that spoils your entire day and outlook generally...

I realise that you give so much power to another person to make your day hell when you react rather than respond.

So, just yesterday, I was thinking that I should gift her (well technically the clinic) two pairs of pants. These would be specially for females who happen to come into the clinic wearing a dress seeking treatment. At least they don't have to go back after coming all the way. What do you think about that?

Picture #1 is sourced and created on Canva
Picture #2 is sourced fro Pixabay