UNPROVEN Chapter Nine "The Big O"

in #story6 years ago (edited)


If you're loved by someone, you're never rejected, decide what to be and GO BE IT
-The Avett brothers


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Recommend Reading Introduction to Unproven

DEFINITELY READ Prologue

Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight


Chapter Nine


Her phone began to sing as they were pulling up to the curb in front of Andie’s. Damn, she’d forgotten to text the girls.

She answered. “Andie, sorry, I was going to text you…”

Andie cut her off. “Where the hell are you?” She demanded.

“Umm, I’m with Grayson…We just got to your house.”

A heartbeat of complete silence followed and then, “Wow. Okay, that was really fast. You’re not messing with me are you?”

“Nope.”

“Oh my God Ary, why didn’t you wait? Are you sure you should be alone with him?”

A laugh burst out of her, she couldn’t help it. “Helloooo, alone with him is kind of the point isn’t it? Unless he plans to chop me into little pieces, I’d say I’m okay.”

“Right. Don’t need the sarcasm though.”

“Sorry.”

“Okay then, I guess we’ll see you later.”

“Later.”

She pressed end on the phone and smiled at Grayson.

He shook his head in bemusement. “Chop you into little pieces?”

She laughed and got out of the car, motioning for him to follow. She circled the Connelly home to the back door and fished the spare key out from under a big stone pot. When she straightened back up she caught him with a look that turned her insides to water. If sex had an expression, it was on Grayson’s face.

“I’m loving that little skirt,” he said in a slightly strained voice, “I think we’ll keep it on you.” She giggled nervously in response, and a blush crept up her neck. Holy hell she was as innocent as he’d imagined, and it was turning him the fuck on in ways he couldn’t define.

Ary fiddled with the keys for a few seconds before managing to open the door. Her hand was shaking again. The way he was looking at her, like he was starving and she was food, had her stomach doing major cartwheels.

He followed her into the house and she led him upstairs to one of the guestrooms. The moment they crossed the threshold he kicked the door shut, closing the gap between them and pulling her into his arms. He pressed his lips against hers and she figured out the rhythm after a few seconds, darting her tongue inside his mouth, loving the taste of him which was purely masculine. His hands left her hair and traveled down to her butt, which he squeezed gently before running his hands up her sides. She felt the tie behind her neck go slack an instant before his hands slid again. And this time when they came up her shirt came with them.


**

She was wearing a lacy pink strapless bra and he paused to admire it. It was exactly the kind of bra he had pictured her wearing; a little girl trying to be a woman. He unhooked the clasps and watched the material fall, revealing a set of tits that surprised him. Beautiful. While they weren’t large, they were quite a bit more than handfuls, with a perfect sweep to them, ending in tiny pink nipples that he had to have in his mouth. He laid her down on the bed and hovered over her, blowing on them gently.


**

As he closed his lips around one of them Ary cried out with a mixture of fear and excitement. It was happening so fast she was finding it difficult to process, but Oh God it felt good. The place between her legs began to throb in time to the tugging of his lips, and heat washed over her. She’d felt something similar to this in her mind when she’d imagined being with him, but as she dropped her head forward and felt his hair on her face, the reality of it slammed into her along with an intense feeling of desire, a craving for something she couldn’t name but wanted very badly.

“Grayson,” she breathed as his lips traveled from her breast down her stomach. He stopped at her navel and swirled his tongue in it, causing her body to arch toward him, the unnamable ache building even higher.


**

Grayson kissed his way to the stretchy band of her skirt and slid his hands down her hips then across her thighs and pushed the thin material up around her waist. She was wearing the matching pair of panties to her bra and the sight of them incited a riot of lust within him. He had to force himself to continue the slow pace because he wanted to fuck her senseless. He couldn’t do that without hurting her. Shit. He kissed the lacy fabric right where he knew her clit would be and she gasped. Glancing up at her he wished he could snap a picture of the way she looked, her pretty eyes wide and glassy filled with a mixture of fear and desire. He hooked his thumbs under the lace at her waist and dragged the material down, watching intently as her untouched pussy came into view, small and sweet like the rest of her. With a sudden burst of impatience he yanked her panties the rest of the way down and pressed her knees back until she was wide open to him, and with one more look at her awestruck face he bent down to taste her.


**

Ohmygod, ohmygod, Ary’s heart leaped into a furious rhythm as she tried to process what he was doing. Ohgodohgod, he was licking her down there and it felt so good. Her head flopped back against the bed and she arched her hips towards him, writhing as his tongue curled around her over and over. The craving intensified until she was crying out, no words just a tangled and fevered plea. Then the world flew apart and she gasped his name as she bucked into his mouth. Slowly she floated back to Earth and opened her eyes. “So that’s what that feels like,” she breathed. She looked down at herself and her face flamed at the sight of her wide open legs with Grayson’s face hovering above her. The flush grew stronger as she registered the fact that he was still fully clothed.


**

He smiled at her, a knowing smile, full of ego. He pulled his shirt over his head and unbuttoned his jeans then flipped onto his feet and kicked them off. He came around the side of the bed and pulled the blanket out from under her quivering body and climbed in next to her before stripping his boxers off. He let the blanket fall over their waists and climbed on top of her, balancing above her on his elbows. She was still flushed with embarrassment and he did nothing to ease it, loving the reaction that emphasized her inexperience and innocence. She had tasted like nothing he’d ever had on his tongue before, sweet with a slight tang, a taste he could grow to love. It was one of the few times he’d attempted that sexual favor since there was no way he would go near his professional bed-mates with his mouth.

He slid one of his hands to the back of her neck and kissed the corner of her mouth, feeling the rush of her breath as it heaved in and out. “Are you scared?” He whispered.

“A little,” she whispered back. “But I want you to feel as good as you made me feel.”

His breath snagged in his throat. Her simple statement was so sincere it him in the gut and traveled lower. “Relax sweetheart,” he breathed in her ear, “I’ll go nice and slow.”


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This is a nice follow-up chapter, but I wanted to take this opportunity to write a little nitpick. I hope you don't mind, sis. Personally, I'm not a huge fan of head-hopping, since it could easily get messy especially when not done right. But, reading through other resources, I discovered that it's somewhat a common practice in Romance books. Given the anticipation from Ary's first time, I think it would be even better if the POV just stuck with Ary and then have the next chapter depict the same scene but from Grayson's perspective. Or, since the buildup is already from Ary's POV, this chapter could focus on Grayson's lust and attempts to keep himself from unleashing himself on Ary. Either way, I think it's just reader's preference, but I don't think it has a tremendous effect on how the chapter was structured. It's great the way it is :D The high points for me was still Ary's nervous awkwardness, trying to act like she knows what she's doing haha

Yeah, I get what you mean, and yes it is common for romance, I read a lot of that before attempting this book. But...I wonder if it would help to put an extra space when I'm changing who is thinking? Or perhaps even a couple asterisks...though I think that would disrupt the flow too much. I'll try the spaces, see how it looks.

I think the asterisk or some sort of separator would do it good. Gives the reader a sense that the scene is shifting POV. I don't think spaces would matter that much in a physical book. Some might even think the extra spaces might be a type. The separators won't disrupt the flow I think, and, in my opinion, is the best way to go without changing anything from the text.

Okay, I tried it out, let me know what you think.

OH SHOOT!! That looks so awesome! Might do that asterisk separator myself in future POV switching stories! Haha!

I agree with @jedau, the use of spacers to separate the scenes that flip POV is better. I read it after they were added, and i didn't notice any jarring with the head hopping - and normally that can throw a story for me.

This is not my usual reading material, but you've made it an easy enough read, as it is well written.

Yeah, his tips are generally useful, this one was great ;)

Haha! I imagine it isn't, it's also not my usual writing material- thanks for the compliment!

Very good story, very touching the readers

very good story buddy, very touching when we read it, success is always friends @dreemit

You doing a great job.. Touching story, keep it up friend

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