The Allies of Old; Book Two Renewal: Chapter Eighty Four "Deeper Reasons for Pain"

Book Cover created in acrylic by the extremely talented @therealpaul

If you have not read the first book of the series, "Reborn", it is advisable you do so before reading "Renewal" or you will be lost. This link will provide you with a series summary as well as all sixty-eight chapters of Reborn

Table of Contents for Fifty Five chapters of Renewal, created by @bashadow

Chapter 56
Chapter 57
Chapter 58
Chapter 59
Chapter 60
Chapter 61
Chapter 62
Chapter 63
Chapter 64
Chapter 65
Chapter 66
Chapter 67
Chapter 68
Chapter 69
Chapter 70
Chapter 71
Chapter 72
Chapter 73
Chapter 74
Chapter 75
Chapter 76
Chapter 77
Chapter 78
Chapter 79
Chapter 80
Chapter 81
Chapter 82
Chapter 83

Chapter Eighty-Four

Every ounce of emotion disappeared from his face as he put his hand on Jenna's head and forced her to her knees. He dropped down to his own knees and spun her around, ripping her pants down. She heard his zipper a moment before his oversized cock pushed at her entrance.

Grasping her hip with one hand he thrust into her then used the other hand to clasp a handful of her hair. He yanked back on it hard enough for her to cry out in pain. He held that position as he fucked her and after a moment the pain became pleasure and she exploded in orgasm.

He pulled her head back even further and spoke next to her ear. “You like this?”

She didn’t answer and he yanked her hair harder, his mouth still next to her ear, “Do you?”

Tears sprang to her eyes. “You’re hurting me.”

“Because it’s what you like,” he purred, “to hurt and be hurt.” He slammed forward one last time, releasing inside of her with a guttural sound. When he was finished he let go and stood up, waiting with his eyes averted as she shakily reassembled her clothes.

When she was decent he grabbed her arm and blurred.

Once they were back at the mansion he released her on the patio and turned away. “No need for you to take off,” he said over his shoulder, “I’m outta here as soon as I grab my things.”

She watched numbly as he strode away from her. Somewhere in the part of her mind made for self-preservation she heard a voice telling her it was for the best. Her heart had an enormously different opinion however. Her throat constricted as she fumbled in her purse for her cell phone.

A few minutes later she slid into a cab and directed the driver to take her to a hotel.

Mathias heard a car door slam and glanced out the window just in time to see Jenna sliding into a taxi. He dropped his things on the floor and slammed his fist into the wall, plaster crumbling around it and falling at his feet. He pulled his arm out of the hole and braced his hands on either side of the damage.

“Fuck,” he hissed as he leaned his head against the wall. No fucking more of this, he thought, I am Done.
After a few more seconds he pushed off the wall and blurred to the nearest bar.

**

Jenna stood by the window in her room at the Holiday Inn and fought back the tears that threatened to choke her. It was a battle she was eventually going to lose, but she would fight it as long as she could.

She desperately wanted to talk to someone about what had transpired but Harri was the only one who would understand, the only one who really knew there was something between them.

The problem was… although she had taken great strides towards emotional healing from her adolescent violation, she was still far from whole. And the reason for that…she blinked back more tears and tried to shove the thoughts away but they wouldn’t go.

She hadn’t been completely honest with her aunt when she’d described the events leading up to her rape. Mainly because she hadn’t been honest with herself. She’d told her that the man who’d hurt her had been a stranger, someone just passing through. But that was a lie. Miles Johnson had been a friend of her father’s, a man who had spent countless hours at her home.

He’d disappeared from their lives after the attack, telling her dad he’d been offered a job across the country. At the time she had felt nothing but relief that he would be gone. Now she realized that if he hadn’t left the truth may have come out and led to the bastard’s incarceration instead of him being free to hurt countless other innocents. Letting him get away was a burden of guilt she would bear for the rest of her life.

She had never been the same after it happened of course, but the worst of it wasn’t even what the monstrous creep had done….she took a shaky breath and forced herself to face it. The real source of hurt had been that her parents had never noticed.

Never noticed that for a full year she didn’t laugh and hardly smiled. Never noticed her obsession with locking doors and windows or her sudden fear of the dark, and especially her fear and distrust of men.

In time she overcame these things one by one, and in some ways she prided herself on the strength she’d seemed to have at such a young age. Prided herself on her ability to deal with things on her own, not needing some person with a degree in head shrinking to hold her hand and baby step her through it. She’d thought the only thing she hadn’t been able to fix was her broken sexuality until Harriet had helped her.

But now she had to face the fact that there was more, that despite her “not all males are bad” mantra, she didn’t quite believe it. Oh she believed most males wouldn’t attack a woman, and their penis driven lives was just biology and not so much dangerous as irritating. It wasn’t in the physical arena that she continued to harbor mistrust, it was the emotional. And the source of it was not Miles but her father, his recent rejection being the icing on the cake.

She forced herself to review what had occurred between her and Mathias and wrapped her arms around her legs as pain lanced through her heart. Oddly she wasn’t upset about the violent sex. She’d hurt him and he’d lashed out.

Somehow she knew that his own past was the cause of his extreme reaction, and that her carelessly thrown words had brought out the worst in him. She’d created doubt in his mind about her feelings one too many times, and the things she’d said this time had been cruel on top of it.

An impossible situation, she whispered. Even if he weren’t immortal their relationship would be doomed. She could not make herself believe she could count on him, that he wouldn’t leave her at some point. Especially if he harbored the same doubts about her, inevitably his sense of self-preservation would kick in like hers had.

It’s better this way, her mind insisted. I was fooling myself to think we could have any kind of relationship, rules or no rules.

Unfortunately her heart did not agree with her mind. It had gone and done the one thing she’d meant to avoid at all costs.

It had fallen in love with the big beautiful bastard.

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