When Hope Makes You Cry: Cancer, KiteBoarding and New Moon Dreamings.
'Don't tell me your bloody father is out kiting?'
Mum's pulled up at the Point with my youngest nephew - the oldest one had fainted at school that day, requiring five stitches and a trip to hospital to make sure it's nothing serious. She needs Dad to take the van to pick up his bike from school.
'Mum, he's kiting!' I say. This would not normally be eventful - not enough for an exclamation mark, anyway. He's always been a kiteboarder, a surfer. Mum's always been a surf widow.
'Yep, that's the third time this week' she laughs. 'And he's too tired to do the dishes'. This is the moment I know things have gone back to normal. He's no longer exempt from household duties, and my mother's going to be pissed at him for trying. All is right with the world. Still, seeing Dad out there - I'm on his side. At the water's edge, I tell him Mum's after him to pick the bike up. He mutters something about 'fat chance' - perhaps he's more polite than this, which is likely, but I get the drift. The conditons are perfect - not too windy, not too crowded.
Perfect for a man who got the all clear from cancer six weeks ago.
Zoom in on the grin on his face. He's 71 years old and alive - and not only alive, he's fit and alive. It's one of the reasons he survived an aggressive treatment for an aggressive cancer. Having always been fit and healthy, mindful of his diet and being a yogi and a surfer (and if he couldn't do that, there was always running, gym and gardening - his philosophy has always been 'ya just gotta keep moving'), he was best placed to go through the grueling onslaught of chemicals that half near kill you before they disintegrate the disease. The doctors said they wouldn't have even tried if he hadn't been fit and healthy.
Dad wasn't this smiley all the way through. He was mostly positive, which helped a lot, but a cocktail of drugs bring you down whilst they're trying to save you. Beside, part of his identity as an active person who thrived off being physical had disappeared, and what is one to do with that? My friend's Dad has been nicknamed 'Mordor' behind his back - with a spine injury he can't surf anymore and it's made him a grumpy mountain of doom - unbearably so, for those around him. I get that, but it's no way to live. No amount of logic or reprimanding would bring my own Dad up either - he'd been known to say 'I may as well be dead' (resulting in a nurse pulling up a chair and giving him a damn good talking to) and 'I'll never get back in the ocean again'.
Standing on the warm water's edge the other night, it was time to gleefully say 'Dad, I told you so!'. As soon as he got the all clear, he was off - a gym plan three times a week, paddle boarding, laps of the pool. It doesn't take long to get fit again if you've always been a fit person. When he got the diagnosis, he wondered why the hell he'd bothered to look after his health if he was just going to get cancer. He quickly admitted that being healthy and fit gave him a great quality of life as well as helping him get through this trauma of chemicals and strains on his immune system. And now, it was helping him recover far faster.
For those of you that know the story of our family journey through cancer last year, you'll know how much I admire him and love him, and am so glad to have him around for a little bit longer. Seeing him fly through the air on his kiteboard like this made my heart absolutely sing with joy - what a wonderful image of hope it is! I'm proud, too, that he's my Dad - most people that saw him at his absolute worst are amazed at this recovery and inspired by it. He's a good man and it's good news.
By some kind of coincidence, I met a girlfriend at yoga on Monday night just after taking these photos. It was the first time she'd gone to this studio - she'd had a long afternoon sleep and upon waking, felt a sudden urge to celebrate the new moon with a session of yoga and signed up for the introductory deal for a month. She's been having a tough time - last year, she collapsed and was diagnosed with cancer. Unlike Dad, she's on an immunotherapy treatment trial, which has been fairly successful, albeit ongoing. She's one of the most positive people I know, and blows people away with how she's tackling this illness head on.
I never take my phone into yoga class ever - it's just not a done thing. For some reason, I had put my bag against the wall near my mat, so the phone was there, and against all the rules, I pulled it out to show her the photos of Dad in the five minutes before the teacher walked in. She knows Dad's story, knows him. Of course, she was thrilled, positively gushing with joy and excitement over this incredible photographic evidence of someone who has not only recovered from cancer, but has really recovered.
And so we moved through the new moon practice, setting intentions for the month ahead. I wondered what she was thinking about, with this terrible thing inside her. At the end of class, the om's and namaste's over and done with, she turned to me with tears absolutely streaming down her face and hugged me. She was just so darn happy about Dad she couldn't stop thinking about it all the way through class, bless her cotton socks. It had made her week, her month - and had given her hope just before her next treatment.
It's hard to hold so much in your heart. So many stories of cancer in so many people's lives. Be it joy or despair, it does spill over into tears. Today, I'm looking at flights to England, where my man's step father is entering palliative care for lung cancer. He's the same age as Dad, and must face what Dad did, but with far less hope, given his diagnosis.
Hope takes a different form, now. It's hope that we might get a chance to see him and say our goodbyes.
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I'm so happy to hear about your dad. I believe that most of our power is in our mind and if you keep positive you can conquer the world and he did it. He stayed strong and recovered from such a bad disease. It's nice to see him being active after such a short time but I'm sure that he couldn't wait anymore. He also wanted to prove to himself that he can do it, that it's still him and that he wants to live when he got the second chance.
I hope that your husband's step dad will have the same will and power to beat this disease. Take care and hope to hear some good news soon.
PS: I've been wondering for a long time.. how is it that we have so many cases of cancer last years? When I was young I didn't even know what it is.. People were healthier than now..
How how did you get so many bots voting your comment? Crazy. I haven't see that before!
Thanks for your lovely words. I'm not sure... I sometimes think its because I'm older now so I'm bound to know more people with cancer, or that I pay attention to it because once it happens to someone you know, you are more attentive to other stories of cancer or people will share their stories too. I don't know... or maybe there's more people in the world. BUT ... we also live in a time where people my Dad's age may have been exposed to stuff in their youth ie. Vietnam and are feeling effects now, or that we live in a world of so much pollution and industry our bodies can't hack it. Who knows...
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I didn't do anything but I see that you have a small upvote on this comment already too :) They are supporting engagement on Steemit and there are many people on their list (from what I understand). You can read Asher's post about it https://steemit.com/steem/@abh12345/faith-in-commentary. There are many comments to this topic.
I think it's the latter..pollution, industry, pesticide and other stuff that we're eating, no exercises (in many cases), lots of worries and so on. I grew up in a poor family. We never had a lot and sometimes not even enough. But we had our fields and we went there everyday to take care of our vegetables and fruits. We didn't use any chemicals and there was no reason to do so as all these pests didn't exist at that time. My great grandmother and grandfather lived to 85. They didn't die because they were sick but because they worked so much. This was how it worked in the past..
Nowadays we have so much that we forget to do basic stuff. We forget to move and live healthy. We keep buying what we don't need and eat too much. We are exposed to pollution that didn't exist before and I think that getting sick is just the last step in our unhealthy lives. This is of course not valid for everyone. There are cases like your dad that we will just never understand how it is possible that they got sick leading such a healthy lifestyle..
Such wonderful news @riverflows! It sounds like your mom and dad are amazing people. Such fun that at 71 he still does this. Wow, I live around quite a few people his age and they don't do anything...makes me sad. Those photos are beautiful, he is positively glowing he's having so much fun!
I actually zoomed in on your dad right before I read what you said to do :) This was such a great read . Your dad’s journey is such a blessing and he is true evidence that hope is possible. I am amazed that he is 71 years old! 😲 Seriously I want to be fit like him when I grow up! I am so glad to hear he is in the clear and I pray it stays that way. I laughed when your mum said
That’s so funny! It looks like he is enjoying life to the fullest. This is so motivating.
I am sorry to hear about his step father. I hope you all can make it out there on time. I hope for a miracle that he will be able to stay around much longer than the doctors expect.
Thanks @crosheille, and thanks for dropping by! How happy does he look - I'm glad you zoomed in! I want to be like him when I grow up too, haha! He's pretty inspiring, and motivates me to maintain my fitness as I get older.
Thanks for your well wishes for J's stepdad. It's not hte best situation. Life can suck sometimes - perhaps the wrong choice of words, but words fail me just thinking about it.
Absolutely! 😊 He is very inspiring and I thank you for sharing his journey.
It’s okay, I know it’s hard when dealing with these types of situations. 💗
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Wow, thanks so much guys. REally appreciated.
Thanks for sharing your dad's wonderful recovery. 'Ya just gotta keep moving', I like that and understand it more as the years go by, living my life and watching others my age.
It's a great motto isn't it? I've found it more and more important the older I get!
I love hearing stories like this, and I've heard lots of them. Brings much hope.
Unfortunately I've also heard way too many stories that go the other way... and what's worse in those cases is that those people were being encouraged to do stuff like what your dad did, and they didn't. It was like they died the moment they got the diagnosis.
Much love and blessings for you sharing this. 😊🙏🏽☯️
It's a lovely story and I'm glad it was us it happened to. He had a lot of life in him yet and did not want to die. Despite how awful it was he said he would do it again because he is 'only 71' and 'too young to die' ... his words. Bless him.
My step father in law doesn't want to give up either. But it's not looking as good as they can't even treat him yet.
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This moved me so much, very emotional, love-filled and inspiring. I hope to be as fit and active as your dad when I get to 70!
It IS hard to hold so much love in our hearts and to feel helpless. I am so sad about your father in law.
Thanks my gorgeous heart!! I hope I'm that fit too! This morning I had a huge walk on the beach and a swim before work, and I'd like to think I could do that all the time, but I'll likely jsut sleep in after drinking wine tonight - at least I try to keep things in balance, lol.
Yeah, it's so sad about my step father in law - a really sad situation. He broke down when we said we were coming over at Easter.
Love these photos and the story! This is one of the very best reasons I've ever heard of for not doing the dishes.
I'm so happy for you all and can only imagine how great this must have felt for you. It's extremely inspiring. Please keep paying this forward
<3