[ENG] A step back

antikesdenken (55)in #steemit • 6 years ago (edited)

Or: Withdrawal

Last Saturday and Sunday I took some time to write my weekly “Veggie-Meldungen” and the “Steemit pearls”. They may look simple, but they take hours for me to create. While I write this I am about to finish the “Steemit pearls”.

It’s the fifth time I’m doing these and I feel that I have to finally stop to put so much effort into these posts. A few times I was lucky and actually received some comments and some upvotes and therefore rewards. So it’s not a lack of appreciation why I will stop publishing them.

I stop them because it feels wrong, what I am doing. When I started the “Steemit pearls” I was very enthusiastic about them. It felt great to be able to honor some of my favorite Steemians and to push forward the ideas of Steemians I just found out about.

But now I feel empty. Sorry for the sad word. I know it is unpopular to write about sad things here on Steemit. Everyone is always so cheery and enthusiastic about everything here and once I was too. But I am not anymore. Currently I am in a state where I became unsure whether I do things here on Steemit for others or for myself. I feel corrupt. I guess it is because I never quite understood Steemit and therefore don’t know how to cope with it. I wanted to be part of it without understanding it and this is wrong in itself.

Don’t get me wrong, I still like this place. I met so many nice people here (I refer especially to the German Steemians I am following) and I will continue posting. But as I wrote here I have to reduce my efforts and I will start with the “Steemit pearls”.

I thank everyone who read, upvoted and commented them. I will continue the “Veggie Meldungen” but I decided to reduce them to a sentence and a link per news line.

I hope you guys have a great start in this new week and that you have a good time here on Steemit! This is what I truly wish for everyone of us.

Yours, Nadine