Spam Tutorial Part 6: The Philosophical Turn (Advanced Spammers Only)

Don’t worry if your spam isn't upvoted. There is a reason for everything, and everything is there for a reason. Your spam being flagged and not attracting any upvotes probably also has a reason. In this exclusive Steem-tutorial, we will take a look at all your issues. Because spammers have a right to be heard, too.

If you’re new to this series, I suggest you start at the beginning. Experienced spammers are welcome to dive right into this sixth episode, of course.

Previous tutorials:
Part 1: The importance of staying motivated
Part 2: About the nature of spammy comments
Part 3: The importance of being positive
Part 4: Personal feedback on your spam
Part 5: Importance of being misunderstood

Why Philosophy?

Philosophy is a largely undervalued domain. Why would you want to bother about logical fallacies and things that have to do with the meaning of life, when all you want is TO MAKE MONEY FAST on Steem? Of course, this might seem far fetched. But philosophy is often taken as something alien and hugely difficult. Let me tell you – philosophy can be difficult. (Check out this philosophy post for instance, complete BS.) But philosophy is also lots of other things. For instance when you hear someone make a comment and you know exactly what they do not understand. But of course this is all still too complicated stuff when you just want to make a few bucks.

Let us look at something that philosophers master above all: asking the right question. Philosophers are annoying people, precisely because they ask so many questions. Asking questions, even when something seems so very clear—this is what we can call the ‘philosophical turn’. Please note that to keep things simple, we will not focus on asking the right question, simply on the art of asking questions itself.

Advantages of the Philosophical Turn

Let us just list some of the advantages of the philosophical turn, especially for spammers. They reduce the need for time investment, while at the same time giving your comments an appearance of mental investment. More for less, so to say.
But let’s look at some of those advantages: Please not that some have possible negative consequences for die-hard spammers.

• Questions hide the fact that you haven’t read the article you are responding to.
• A question has a simple grammatical structure. One of the keys to a good question is the so-called ‘question-mark’: “?”
• Questions can be short, but still make people think.
• Questions are inviting people to respond. PLEASE NOTE: When you do not respond to an answer given to you in a fruitful and engaging manner, your spamminess may still shine through. Be aware of this before you apply the Philosophical Turn.
• Questions can be completely honest, but of course you can also make them up on the spot.
• Any sentence from any article can be made into a question. Even copy-pasting a sentence from the article, and adding “What do you mean with this?” can be a great way to engage the author in a semi-spammy but totally acceptable manner.
• Asking questions requires no knowledge of the topic at hand.

All in all, with a little willingness to follow-up on possible answers given to you, the Philosophical Turn can lead to a happy spammer. And that is all we want, after all.

Steps to Follow for a Philosophical Turn

So let us take a look at how to actually go about the Philosophical Turn.

1. Find an article you want to spam. I suggest to take articles with either average to high amount of words, or with some original pictures. Do not spend too much time on choosing the right article. Any article can be spammed, after all.
2. Select a sentence, somewhere from the middle of the article. Copy that sentence into the comment section.
3. Add some formatting and perhaps some words to form a question. There are a lot of options here, make sure you vary these along the way:
   A) Add a question mark at the end of the sentence.
   B) Put quotation-marks around the sentence. Then ask about the meaning of the quotation.
   C) Start the sentence with a statement regarding your own state of confusion, which can be followed by the quoted part. (Don’t forget quotation marks!)
4. Hit that comment button.
5. Move on to the next article and repeat from point 1.

I wish you the very best with the Philosophical Turn.
May all Spammers obtain philosophical depth!

Thank you for all your spammy comments. May the Spam be with you!

Disclaimer: Do not use the philosophical turn on any of my articles. You’re free to use it anywhere else. I do not take responsibility for any results. Using this and any techniques from the Spam Tutorial is voluntarily and completely done on your own risk.

Want to read more?
Satire: The Power of Positivity and how you can stick it where the sun don't shine
Short story: Beginning of Life