What I Learned from Being “Poor”
I was born in and grew up in a reasonable well off family. Not a rich family but not a poor family. We always had a mortgage, at least until the latter stages of my parents’ professional careers.
Yet, true Belgians we are, we also had some real estate. Some.
I wasn’t the rich kid in school nevertheless I was able to attend a slightly more expensive, top school in the country. Not a private school but one of the elite schools nevertheless.
I wasn’t the first one with a car, but I always had pocket change to participate to most extra-curricular activities. Read: booze after class on Friday. Yes, I also smoked. Pocket change was even sufficient to attend the odd concert, and I got to see The Cure, David Bowie, the Smashing Pumpkins and several more before I graduated secondary class1.
All that without my parents ever making use of a credit card.
After school, I quickly joined the professional world first, then the nomadic life. Working has been a staple in my life and ever present. My parents are to blame thank for that as at young age they taught me to save and if I contributed to extra chores, household tasks they would reward me as well. That may have been via chipping in for that Midi-stereo tower I wanted or later when I eventually bought my first car, by chipping in again. I had summer jobs during the school breaks too. The concept was simple: if I wanted something I had to save, if I worked additionally, they would fasttrack my access to it.
Party hard, work even harder is a pillar in life.
Once chosen the nomadic life, I have worked both in IT (online publishing and before that security) as well as in bars. Party even harder!
It — working — has allowed me to travel most loved corners of Europe, while working, and live in and work from multiple countries. I’ve lived an interesting life and money never was an issue.
I had a lavish life and life style. Hard earned but enjoyed too. Sufficient to make most jealous. Never meant to, I had an ataraxic tendency since long, but sufficient to nevertheless.
Until not that long ago, when a private crisis struck me rather hard. The crisis was long and hard enough to wipe out all savings and pretty much reset life at the bottom of the ladder. Almost as I was left with still more than many have.
Thanks to crypto, slowly but surely I was able to rebuild and from zero life could be enjoyed again, rather quickly. In a different form but it was good nevertheless. All required was available, Maslow was satisfied, complete with reasonably fast internet.
“Life is 10% what happens to you, 90% how you react to it”
— Charles R. Swindon
But life didn’t stop at those hurdles. Little more than a year ago, without any savings available anymore, I was struck with a medical crisis. Resulting in being hospitalized, without insurance, for the better part of two weeks. It would subsequently take me another almost three months before I found a modicum of pace in life again and felt capable to perform at close to normal levels.
I was now living from month to month, pretty much hand to mouth. Additionally, I was forced to move but things were fine. I should have panicked but I didn’t, I had started to find myself, or find a slightly different me.
The bull run had long subsided and the bears were waking up. Slowly but surely the crypto markets were hitting bottom and things started to hit crunch level, that especially after the medical expenses incurred last year. Yet, despite everything, I have managed to constantly still help people left and right, with the little I had and earned.
Of course, nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition and when the last crash happened end last year I officially joined the brigade of people who don’t only live hand to mouth but who struggle to make ends meet.
Yet, I became the richer person for it.
Discovering True Riches
In last few years I have gradually downscaled. Obviously, it has helped keep panic at bay.
Before my last move I had already moved to an area without much disposable income. Most people owned their house there, or at least the family would — leading to typical “extended family compounds” — and poverty wasn’t visible in that area of Metro Manila. That isn’t to say that there weren’t people with bill arrears or debts. Hence why the extended family compounds more often than not.
I shared my reasonably fast internet connection throughout the compound I lived in. Often I also got few bottles of “Red Horse” for evenings together, hanging out together over drinks and generally enjoying life. In as far as people found true joy in life, most bogged down by a life imposed by advertising and peer pressure for luxury — always running away from the next bill.
And, of course, the compulsory dopamine addiction powered by small screen devices and social media.
When I moved last time, I moved to a local area most locals would prefer to avoid. A “poor” area. This area is not yet true poverty, but “wealth” is limited to very, very few families and it is safe to say that it is the entry to the world of the unbanked.
There are side alleys on any side street here. They are the entry to the world of “trike drivers”. People who work 12-14 hours per day and take home less than $2.
Family planning is an afterthought here. Aside from the still ridiculous influence of the Catholic Church2, most people here just can’t afford contraceptives.
It is that simple.
Fixed internet is an exception here. Cars are very few and not even every family has a 125cc bike. Less than half of the families here have TV, and when only free air channels. The actual side street I live in doesn’t have fiber internet available and it looks like this year’s plans of free internet across the city may also skip this side street3.
Ergo, most people here buy mobile data when funds allow. So do I, although working online, I keep topping up every time my data has been consumed. I now understand why many people don’t update their apps, data is expensive.
Life When Poor is More Expensive
After life kicked me royally hard in the balls in recent years, I am financially floored. Yet, I am the richer person for it.
One of the things I discovered, despite hardship is that the world which advertising — and money — impose upon us is NOT the world of happiness. It is the world of directed happiness, imposed happiness.
It is a glamorous illusion.
I always knew this, I never was really materialistic. How could I possibly be as somebody traveling and/or regularly relocating? Only what fits in my backpack truly matters4.
But the reality of living this current life has increased awareness. Increased awareness of what we all know but don’t care about. Don’t wish to know, remember, and definitely won’t allow to bring us a healthy perspective.
Because it would be too bubble bursting.
“All human beings seek the happy life, but many confuse the means - for example, wealth and status - with that life itself. This misguided focus on the means to a good life makes people get further from the happy life. The really worthwhile things are the virtuous activities that make up the happy life, not the external means that may seem to produce it.”
— Epictetus
Having nothing it is impossible to save. I spend more on mobile data every month, using two devices, than I would on unlimited fiber internet. Yet, funds are not available to pay the required connection fee and additional deposit for this so-called unsafe area.
I can not save from buying wholesale, benefitting “buy x get x” deals because funds don’t necessarily stretch that far to allow pack deals. More so, I have no fridge thus I can not store fresh food either.
Not that in this bear market a fridge is within the means of the possible, any low energy consumption fridge would equate to almost three months of rent.
The current harsh El Niño? Like millions other people I live through it without A/C, using just a simple fan. Which is actually a positive because it means I contribute less to climate change.
I am the richer person for it.
Poor People Live Differently
One of the first things which struck me upon arrival here was the amount of low level dealers the joy kids experienced when playing.
Kids aged two to fifteen constantly sit and play in the alleys. Sing together, throw hoops, basically they do what kids do.
None of them have a mobile device.
Kids here are not encumbered by technology. Kids have no need to be on Facebook nor are they angry at their parents because they can not play with their mates. Play FIFA 2019 with their mates I mean, of course. Their parents have no problem with the cost of the latest console, or latest game. Those are non-topics, non-issues here.
Life is simple.
Poor people have different issues than you and I — than I had at least. They live from day to day. Birthdays are portmanteaus in life, they are main events year after year.
A college degree?
Unaffordable to most. Even if education is free, many families can not afford the expenses which come with it. Whether that be long commutes or even things as simple as pen and paper. Remember, we buy piece wise not bulk.
Aside from the cost higher education would impose on them, that’s a luxury which in their minds — uneducated themselves — would set them financially back as soon as the child is legally allowed to work. Work and bring money home, put food on the table and possibly finally repair that corrugated roof.
Yes, this is the world the Guardian’s authors generally refer to as where they live under corrugated roofs.
Doing the laundry here means to most sitting hours over a basin and scrubbing the laundry with a brush. Then it is hung out over old cables utility companies didn’t remove. A different approach to a smart laundry system.
The Problems of Most Aren’t Problems
It has been years since I last drank a lovely siphon-brewed Sumyaki coffee or an Ethiopian brew. But poured up at the right temperature and ground thinly the local $4/kilo Barako is a nice brew. A very nice brew actually.
It has been months since I last had a copious and truly healthy meal. A usual, greasy local meal with rice is $1 for me nowadays. I have enriched my food palette vastly though.
I am lucky and the place I live has running water, the family three doors down the street doesn’t. The unit I occupy is as large as their “house”, yet they are seven.
The experience of living here has brought a healthy perspective. A humbling perspective.
I don’t care anymore for that $7 coffee. It leaves me cold. Just like the latest trendy brew from your preferred franchised store.
A treat for me is a nice “Buy 1 Take 1” cheeseburger at $2 nowadays. A birthday party for the family three doors down the street is four liter bottles of “Red Horse” for $6 in total.
The continuing bear market is hitting hard and has long stretched beyond crunch level5. I should probably join the chorus of the “Steem maximizers” and milk every possible trail. Get a free WordPress with SteemPress and maximize that Steem-UA level. Contribute to Utopian and share2steem. Obviously, crosspost everything to Whaleshares, Cent, Publish0x, Akasha, and whatnots. Not to forget hunt every day and also write to SteemSTEM. Maybe even publish twice a day shitdesigns quickly made in Canva.app.
But I wouldn’t feel honorable doing such.
Most weeks I even don’t post 4 times, or the amount of Steem-UA upvotes I can get every week. I removed my delegation from Partiko because they are low-level spammers with typical Silicon Valley techbro arrogance. Screw those three weekly upvotes I can get from Partiko, integrity over an upvote and more spam on the chain.
Maximizing my share from the pool for everyone never was my thing nor will it ever be. Call me stupid, but I sleep soundly at night.
Nevertheless, I have dutifully accumulated considerable stakes of tokens and continue to do so. Mostly unlisted tokens, of course, because today we buy in to and contribute to a future with crypto.
Some day some of those tokens will be listed. Some may even achieve considerable value.
It will allow me to distribute to those currently still not connected. Those for whom crypto is merely a dream, an untangible buzzword. Let alone could they vie for one of those valuable dTube upvotes because data is expensive.
“The only wealth which you will keep forever is the wealth you have given away.“
— Marcus Aurelius
Distribute to those who currently have no running water in their house and shower outside, at a neighbor’s further down the street.
This is the real life for billions of people. Those sardine boxes in towers of 40-50 floors high, measuring 50sqm with 2 bedrooms are not an aspiration. Nor are they an inspiration.
Today my struggles are real, the belt is tight and I may yet have to downscale once again in the near future.
I have been lucky because I never was materialistic nor does advertising influence me6. Combined with daily exercise living poorly has learned me that we, most of us connected and contributing here, are rich.
Maybe you just don’t realise it.
My current situation isn’t enraging, or desperate, but humbling. Humbling and inspiring. It may be unfortunate but... I am the richer person for it.
- K12 for you, yanks. ↩
- The Philippines are statistically one of the leading Catholic countries. ↩
- Limited, only 30 minutes/day. Not “free Internet” as such. ↩
- Laptop, tablet, phone, clothes, a book. Yes, a physical book. ↩
- $STEEM at $0.72 would allow me to cover everything at my usual posting frequency. ↩
- Ironically I once even worked for an advertising agency. ↩
This post was initially published on fknmayhem.fyi and cross-posted to the Steem blockchain with SteemPress.
I cannot even begin to tell you how much your post touched me. Your life touches on mainstream people, where you came from how you grew up and for all practical purposes so, you grew up in a loving, learning atmosphere. I mean, you were even the normal kid who partied hard, probably as hard as you worked.
It is interesting in the context of writing, to see how we can all go from a lavish lifestyle to living among the not so lavish, even poor. I am impressed by the detail of your post, in my mind, I can picture the entire story, you paint such a vivid picture.
I can tell you from working/volunteering in different homeless shelters, your words ring so true of many people that have walked this path, although every person's story is a little bit different, the end is where the difference is. You have made the best of what is given to you, fair or unfair you do not complain but work with what you have. I applaud you for that. Just reading about who you are you are probably scoffing at the thought of anybody applauding you for living your life.
The thing is, the lesson has not been lost on you.
And by this, I don't mean that you are being punished but you are smart enough to see that doing without isn't a punishment but a gift. How many people can say that they make the most of relationships and time spent with people instead of time behind a computer or a handheld game or any Electronics, including the television? To get out and do, to get out and be, to get out and share well that is the real prize in life. I wish you well because you deserve it, because you have earned it, and most of all because you share so much of you and you inspire hope in my soul.
I'm telling you now because I must and I am interested to keep reading your journey. You are actually far richer than most people I know. The best part being that it has nothing to do with money.
Upped and steemed
!tip
Thank you for your awesome comment. Also thank you for tipu. :)
I once worked in an organization with the homeless. While I was Business Manager I lived in the same building as they did. More days than not I also ate with them, even after work.
Obviously it all started with my family’s background and also upbringing, but I credit that period most for who I became.
For who I am.
Again, thank you for your awesome comment. 🦇
I agree that it starts with the family, but, our experiences are what mold our character into who we become.
I was frequently chastised by those that did not involve themselves with the less than fortunate for becoming part of their lives in serving, eating with them and for helping find solutions to their life.
How can that ever be a bad thing???
And the pleasure is always mine.
Wow this was just an awesome post and although I had to admit what kept me reading was you talking about the Philippines and how you lived here and how your daily lifestyle.
A lot of people have feel that if you are poor that you are a loser in life and thus people try very hard to be "successful" by having a job, buy a house, get married and have children, the while White picket life.
Any deviation from this and you will be branded as a failure.
I have lately lost interest in living and thus has become a shut in. Left my career, left my family and living in a one room unit and often eat store bought food that is not really appetizing but fills the stomach.
I am living off savings I once had when I still saved and worked hard for a future now I am just waiting to die.
I haven't left my house for the past 3 months and have not seen any of my friends or family for over a year.
I consider myself a failure at this point and just don't know how to get back up.
I feel that I ramble and somehow lost my point but what you wrote here somehow resonated with me.
But you deeply know that you are not a failure.
It's just way too superficial.
You need some optimism.
The world may seem without any sense... So give the things a sense. For example do things you like.
Because it makes you happy. Isnt that an awesome sense? ;)
The world is not dualistic; it's fucking diverse!
Go out there!
Posted using Partiko Android
It seems the true wealth of poverty is becoming clear to you. It took me many years to gain necessary perspective to discover I was the richer for being the poorer. The travails of having money - not earning money, but coping with having it - are insidious. Most people don't realize just how much they expend to keep their money handled. Not until there's nothing to handle does that become clear.
I have learned to approach money as a necessary evil, and to eschew it as much as possible. There are often other means of exchange that require less upkeep. I employ many, and generally profit from the lower opportunity cost of alternatives to my mental focus. In the end, I do not live to manage money, but live life. We all live through our mental attention, and the more attention I can give to what matters, the more I profit.
Thanks!
This is now going to occupy me for days:
Occupy me thinking about whether what I really meant is “the real cost of wealth”.
These things have long occupied me but differently. Truth is, no matter how altruistic or “socialistic”, one is... if you have money you live differently. The vast majority do.
There are many things you don’t see, even not if you want to see them, until you live them.
I have always been “connected” and woke. I have always been close to the French Emmaus movement — English lacks a proper name here, it is absolutely not a charity but they accept donations of goods. I have opened a new one and operated as “business manager” (official role slash title) for it, while also living in the community, in West-Europe.
As such I can say I always was close to those who have little. But the riches you find in it, in that understanding and knowledge, are still different than those when you live it from the inside.
At the same time, I can safely say that locally most aren’t aware of their riches either. I have never seen an obsession as big by brands as here. I have never seen as many fake branded, not even close to real in looks, clothing as in this former American colony.
The sardines in a jar condo life is what most think they want. Marketing does work and more so even on the poor.
Ignorance is bliss.
After my 'empire' was gone, I spent some time innawoods. As I became accustomed to my new routines, I eventually grasped just how much time, attention, and effort I had formerly expended simply to manage my affairs. I guesstimate about 20% of my waking hours were spent handling business that only needed to be handled because I had funds.
When no funds are involved in living your life, as innawoods, it's really an amazing relief, as well as opportunity to better spend that time.
My dad began his professional teaching career at 16 in Malacca and spent the first salaries buying books, uniforms and shoes for students so they could attend class. The school was free but, they weren't allowed to come without a uniform or shoes - things most people couldn't afford.
In my city back in Oz I lived on the edge of a slum area and the local supermarket had 20% higher prices than the one 2 kilometers away because they knew that most of the people shopping there didn't have a car to travel.
There are many ways to restrict mobility of the poor.
Locally developers have found a new loophole abusing the affordable condo regulations.
Basically, each new residence needs to have condos available at around $200/month.
The loophole, obviously supported by the oligarchic lobby, is that the period during which that rate is required can be limited to 3 years, or the duration in which the developer needs to deliver the building.
After which a mortgage certification needs to be presented. And the $200/month until then is deducted from the final purchase price.
Obviously, many fresh grads who entered the world of outsourced call centers and work for around $300/month take home, $500 if they are Facebook moderators and have 4-6 seconds per post to review, fall in that trap while still living at home and waiting for the building to complete and be delivered.
Failure to present a mortgage, which most never achieve — nor understood due to lacking legalese understanding and being blinded by the well promoted condo lifestyle — results in the “reservation fee” being defaulted.
We've got a prison over here in Berlin, that's infamous for keeping most of their prisoners for fare dodging. Those people couldn't afford a ticket and got sent to jail for that. Which makes the famous tax payer accountable for around 120 Euro each day … noone benefits, btw. The private transport association never receives any money, people lose their freedom however after they already lost their mobility … spiraling down, down, down.
I saw somewhere in your post
We’re going to make $7.77 $STEEM with #SEVEN77 #STEEM Twitter Movement
Hope you’ll join our Movement
So deep, so personal. It's not every day I read such a long post...
This is really sad how 'rich' kids with smartphones do not even know how playing with others tastes. 'Poor' kids in poor countries experience strong connections to real world and tenfold of emotions. In this dimension they are a lot richer.
This one statement really spoke to me.
Some people think having money, more than they'll ever need in a lifetime, is the answer to their prayers... but it's not.
Having life experiences from the highs and lows is what gives a person character, integrity and gratefulness.
If you have a place to lay your head at the end of the day, some food in your belly and love/support from family/friends... what else is needed?
Two or three times a week I give myself a treat and buy my meal from an elder lady in a side alley. It is expensive to me at 20% more but the smile I get from her, knowing how much it means to her budget... no iPhone could provide such joy.
$rewarding 100% 15min
Giving back or paying it forward is what it's all about. You buy from her, she smiles and appreciates the sale, you feel awesome about helping another person... it just goes full circle
Awesome post. I never read so much about your history and even realized we have lived close (I’m in the Netherlands) or where in the world you are now.
It’s a pretty humbling experience to live in a part of the world with different values and where things are valued differently :-)
It seems you learned the right lessons from it though!!! And I’m hoping for a 0.72$ STEEM soon. Maybe even double. Seems like you can do a lot with that kind of money over there.
Thanks for sharing!
Posted using Partiko iOS
I have lived in A’dam, Utrecht (also a while in Amersfoort), and in Maastricht. One summer I worked in Scheveningen on the Promenade (the bistro with the two gorillas on the roof, don’t know if it still exists).
Oh wow! You’ve seen many places :-) Next time I’m in Scheveningen I’ll look out for those two gorillas, maybe I can find them :-)
Btw both events are documented on the chain btw. The illness briefly, the first crisis became a post in my earliest months on Steem.
Yes, I’ve enjoyed life. I still — or I should say again — enjoy it. And I definitely have no intention to let this experience be my last one. But it is one I will never forget and it will stay with me, just like working in a charity with homeless people in the UK. The probably two least glamorous stages in my life are the most important ones, the ones I’m proudest of.
Thank you. :)
You're a fkn genius. I love this post, … piece of art, I don't know how to call it. You're hereby guranteed a fresh and healthy meal whenever you visit Germany. (I could hear those kids playing Fußball)
Just an honest post, and hopefully a bit of perspective for a reader or two... maybe?
It's your language I love. You're like an algorithm of justice, scanning the system, recalculating, finding errors and – I don't know how you keep on surfing the edge without ever falling into the abyss. Surf on, @fknmayem, we love watching you riding those waves … fyi.
Stoicism.
But if you meant the linguistic abyss, all blame goes to Gonzo writing. And maybe a bit of Cicero and Tacitus, completed with lots of juxtapositions and the odd euphemism thrown in for effect.
Now I think about it, both are rather complementary.