Positive Reflections: How Not To Let Other People's Opinion Affect You
Recently my wife Roselind went to the market to repair a pair of trousers. When returned to the stall a few days later, to collect the trousers, the tailor asked for RM12 instead of the agreed price of RM11. When my wife reminded the tailor that the agreed price was RM 11, the tailor replied sarcastically “Kalau you miskin dan tak mampu bayar, I kasih free sahaja” which when translated means “If you are too poor and can’t afford to pay, I give you free”. Feeling insulted by the remarks but not wanting to argue further, Roselind put RM11 on the table and walked away.
Roselind was fuming when she related the story to me and for the most part of the morning, she was not in a good mood. What is your take on this? Firstly, the tailor has absolutely no clue about our financial position. From my point of view, obviously we are in a better position than the tailor. Secondly our financial position has not changed and is not affected by the remarks of the tailor, we have neither grown richer or poorer. Thirdly, we must always remember that we have the power on how we choose to respond to other people’s behavior. If Roselind is reacting negatively to the tailor, she is giving power to the tailor to make her angry. Fourthly, just let it go.
In our daily interactions, we receive a lot of remarks or feedback about us. We need to examine honestly whether these remarks or feedback are valid or not. If we feel that what is being said has some truth in it, then take this as an opportunity for us to change and grow. If there is no truth, then it is just someone else’s opinion and everybody is entitled to their own opinion. The most important thing is we know to our self-worth and we should not seek validation of who are based on other people’s opinion of us. Just follow the above 4 steps and we will be more empowered to respond to other people’s opinion.
So how do you respond to other people’s opinion? Do share your experiences in the comments section.
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Do check out my previous posts.
The Golden Yellow Statues Of Peterhof, St Petersberg
Newbie Nuggets: How To Make Succeeding At Steemit Fun
My Trans-Mongolia Pictorial Adventure Part 1: Escaping From Bustling Beijing To Ulanbatar
Golden Hour Photography: Sunset At St Kidla, Melbourne
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First of all, what a very very rude person. I think your wife had every right to be angry, and I would too most likely. Still, I very much agree with your perspective, about not allowing these kinds of people to affect us negatively and give them space in our lives. I try to practice this whenever I come across people that act like this, and I think I've gotten better at letting it go instead of fuming. But not always though. Knowing things and actually acting on what you know are two different things. And everything takes practice I guess.
There is a big difference between doing something and actually doing it as rightly pointed out by you. Yes, the tailor was being very rude, but need to let it go. Only then we will be happier. But it is easier said than done.
unfortunately people are fond of telling their opinion even if it is not needed and expected at all. they just need to say. to feel their wisdom and importance.
I listen to people ONLY when I ask for their opinion by myself, all the rest cases I abrupt them or ignore.
Do you think it's right?
When people gives unsolicited advice, we can tell them that we are not interested but I try to do this in a polite manner. I have an autistic son, and so some people think that they are being helpful by giving all kind of advice. Following you.
I personally think this is a very healthy approach, indeed. I've previously in my life tended to offer advice to anyone anytime, but have in later years realised the folly of doing so. I now try to only give advice when asked.
me the same) that's why I understand that people don't appreciate and don't need it while they dont ask for them by themselves
and moreover, advice is very doubtful thing at all, we all must have our own mistakes
The tailor was rude first of all, and it surely is difficult to let go being treated like that for some, however I believe that things like this shouldn't be taken as an insult especially knowing you're above it. I suggest we all put ourselves up there to not be affected by these little things. It's a healthy way of dealing with negativity trying to mess with us.
Nice article by the way!
Thank you for your comments and compliments. We need to let off as we do not want the negativity drained us. But it is easier said than done. Following you now.
I never care non sollicited advices and I rarely ask for advices, except for techie things that I suck with...lol...but for personal subjects that concern my life or my being I don't see the point of knowing what anybody else would do, as it is impossible for them to feel what I feel...
And I never give advices for the same reason, unless it has been asked, because advices are kinda judgement on the situation or the person, what he should do or how it should handle with sthing, Who are we to know better than a person what is good for her ?
I always teached my children that they are the ones who know what is good for them, and the way to know what is good is to align with their inner being and stay as much as possible on that frequency...the inner being, the soul, it knows what is best , and it knows it better than the neighbor or the seller or even the family ;-)
You have written here a wonderful reminder post for all, thank you and have a cheerful day ! ^_^
That is a good philosophy. Thanks for the visit and the comments. Following you now.
Very true, I made a post about a similar theme I used the a remote to drive the point home.
Cool. Following you now.
Great analogy to remote control lolz. But the music is like.. doesn't fit in haha.
This wonderful post has received a bellyrub 5.57 % upvote from @bellyrub.
thank you.
It is more agreeable to have the power to give than to receive.
- Winston Churchill
That is a very wise saying. Following you now.
Your wife had a right to be upset, especially because there was an agreed price which was changed without valid reason or it wasn't stated. Most times I would not give the other person credence by reacting, but there are some times where my patience dwindles and I do. You are so right though. Sometimes the feedback we get could be valid and can be used as a medium of self improvement.
The tailor was rude and also not honest. But we should let it go so that we are not negatively impacted by these people. It is easier said than done.
You are not responsible for the attitudes of others. Melodie Beattie states in well in her 12 steps of Co-Dependency book when we realize we are powerless over the actions and behaviors of others. We are only responsible for ourselves. Obviously this person had no knowledge of customer service let alone guest service. (There is a difference) Perhaps she was having a bad day and the customer got the brunt of it. Thanks for a good read.
We will not be going back to that store that is for sure. It is not good to let the bad behavior of others affect us for too long, this is akin to giving them power over our lives. Most of us know what to do, i.e. to let it go. But it is the doing part that is difficult. Thanks for sharing your take on this. Greatly appreciated.
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