Why Marry? (Day One)
When I was younger, and full of opinions, I would swear up and down that I would never marry. I think it had to do with less-than-examplary cases I’d seen, and a kind of artistic selfishness —or the fear of being unable to pursue my art as I would be consumed by the demands of an ordinary life.
This recoil from commitment lasted until I was around 33 years old and then, one day and one person, had me reconsidering the possibility. Recently, I celebrated my 10th anniversary, with @dianarpo, and I would not have it any other way. There is a mystery and magic to chemistry, obviously, but also to timing (I knew my wife-to-be for decades before tying the knot).
I do hope you might enjoy my meditation in verse, below, to an institution that as a (fairly-recent) convert I, now, heartily endorse.
We marry, frankly, because we tire
of living with yet another uncertainty,
and because it does not matter to us
as much as it does to our other half.
We marry because we are already married
in invisible ink, that our vows spell out—
declaring our love inviolable and sacred
before ourselves, society and, yes, also God.
We marry because to know someone this way
is to expand our souls and touch life's core,
just as to contemplate Forever in any form
is to contemplate Forever in every form.
The best way to spoil a marriage is to speak
too often and easily of it—likewise, with faith—
love and work grow strong in secret soil,
with I do is how we marry the world.
© Yahia Lababidi
Reading Notes: This is my submission for Day 1 of the 100 Day Poetry Challenge conceived by musician and poet, Daniel Pendergraft @d-pend. I have been writing poetry for nearly three decades and am the author of three poetry collections
If you are interested in taking part and honing your craft as a poet, please, consider joining Steemit School discord
(Picture credits: Wedding by the Sea is mine, manipulated using Prisma app for iphone; Couple with Flowers by Brooke Cagle, Unsplash)
Love it... very nice work! I always said I would never marry too despite being with my soul-mate at the time of which we were both convinced we would grow old and start a family together...
But things change!
I think you have to do what feels right in your heart. In some cases... the pressure of marriage is what destroys what once was a healthy relationship.
Like tattoos - You have to be certain I think!
You know when it's Love - the call is unmistakeable and undeniable.
Great entry... Glad to have so many awesome writers along for the ride on this one.
I hope you enjoy my first submission too if you get a moment to check it!
Keep up the great work man.
With Love
Hart Floe Poet
<3
Yes, I, too, thought that it’s best to keep cage door open, in a loving relationship, versus what I perceived as the shut door of marriage.
But, when we close one door, we open another and get to delve further in than sitting on the fence.
Thanks, for warm words & musings. Will read you 🙏🏼
Very wise words...
These words alone could spawn your next poem for tomorrow... or one of the other 99 days!
Looking forward to reading more bro and glad to have connected on here :)
With Love
Hart Floe Poet
<3
Thank you, for your close attention. I think it’s already hinted at in these lines:
We marry because to know someone this way
is to expand our souls and touch life's core,
just as to contemplate Forever in any form
is to contemplate Forever in every form.
(And, if not, then in between the lines...)
Best of luck with your art & I hope my words continue to keep you good company 🙇🏻♂️
I'm sure they will my friend... every day for the next 99 days right? ;)
Keep up the amazing work... I will stay in tune for sure.
With love
Hart Floe Poet
<3
No, it's not my intention to stay the course... just weaving in and out.
Thanks, again, and be well _/|_
Well when you weave in I look forward to seeing what you weave :)
Until then... take good care!
With Love
Hart Floe Poet
<3
interesting how time - and perhaps moreso, maturation - can so powerfully shift perspectives on such major matters... 💗
You said it, brother! I used to think of maturity as a bad word (like something dull or deadening to be feared) but I see, now, that was a sign of my immaturity at the time :)
By the way, as I believe in giving credit where credit was due, the opening paragraphs to the poem above (which were not there when I first posted it) were inspired by the profound reflections in your excellent post on Timing
I invite all thinkers and seekers, interested in life's mysteries, to visit this entry for a fine meditation _/|_
I was thinking about sharing an older story in response:
How Ayahuasca Changed My Life (And Gave Me The Balls To Do The Craziest, Most Courageous, Romantic Thing Of My Life)...
Held back at first, though figured there might be some inspiration in there, as it’s one of my most raw tales of how mymarriage came to be... 💓
Wow, Rok, thanks, for your trust in sharing this.
I've just returned from 2 months in Peru (don't know if I mentioned this to you, earlier, sans epiphany-inducing ceremony) but was struck by how the ancients spoke to their deity using the assistance of consciousness-expanding plants.
I know a thing or two over the years about this "intentional, responsible, controlled use" and have had at least, one, mind-blowing experience in the desert that defies prose, so here it is in verse
Surrender is key, brother. I was somewhat surprised by your action at 27 (you're even more hardcore than I was!) also surprising to see how young you appear, now, if those are recent photos (as I you sound... older).
But, back to my scattered impressions. Yes, Fear, what a sly tyrant it is (tomorrow's blog post might develop this further). By association, I think of poor 'ole Kafka who described himself as: the bribed defender of his fear
And, back to Timing, amazing how the big, inner movements of the spirit have their own seasons and exist outside of time. How we might live, sleep-walking and with 'mind-forged manacles', doing Fear's bidding for a decade or two then, in one decisive moment, change our lives. Yes, a lifetime is a day and a day can be a lifetime, in what one can do, be, or say...
Here's to more Love sweet love, in every form, a holy awe and continued Liberation. PS - Here's book I'm currently reading, very slowly...
NICE.
Two months in Peru... that musta been quite the game-changer. :-)
Peru was a gift and, boy, was the food good!
NICE one. I think men are cultured by their peers to not wanna get married and then love takes over hahaha ! Check out my enentry
https://steemit.com/steemitschoolpoetry/@dmilliz/endless-oceans-steemit-school-poetry-100-day-challenge-day-1
I agree... we're greedy that way! Thanks, for reading (and sharing). Cheers
Excellent poem! I love you picked a love theme for your first day! Some of us, who are still not married, needs to feel a see what real marriage is...
It's sad that 9/10 stories about marriage are not good stories, so I'm kinda glad to be reminded that REAL things still exist!
Much love, Luka.
What is there other than love, dear Luka, not much. As Gandhi says, Where there is love, there is life.
But, marriage is no magic wand; we get out of it what we put into it. At some point in life, we realize that we cannot know ourselves further, or continue to grow, on our own and we need another (loving) person who sees us to act as our emotional/spiritual mirror.
To remain clear, such mirrors need to be polished. Anyhow, you get the picture. Sending much love back your way, brother, and gratitude for your kindenss.<3
If I can add also, as Bob Marley said, Love would never leave us alone.
Love is deep inside all of us and the more we run away the more we hear its cry...
<3
An important addition! I tend to agree that the love we hold back, in turn, holds us back...
Also, at the heart of all our unhappiness, I believe there is a crisis of Love—for self, others, G_d. 🙏🏼
The crisis is temporary, love is forever ;)
Yes 🙌🏼
interesting arguments!
I'm actually in the "why marry?" stage I still didn't have my "one day and one person" that will have me reconcider the possibility yet.
Great talent and it's good to have you in the 100 days poetry challenge!
Thank you, for stopping by, Hazem, and sharing your thoughts :)
You're still young, my friend, and may not need to worry about such considerations, yet. Every stage in life has its demands. Until the right person comes along, you have the time to perfect your life as well as art :)
Wishing you best of luck with both!
Look i am back after days and yes, i am huge admirer of your wonderful selection of words @yahialababidi ;)
This is one of the most influential english poem i came across as it discusses the process of marriage in a ery deep way. Yes, marriage makes two bodies a single soul <3
Loved to hear that you and your wife are enjoying this wonderful relation for 10 years , Bravo <3
Hello, again, Salman :) You said something I forgot to mention in my poem, how 2 bodies can be a single soul. I hint at this with the lines: We marry because we are already married/
in invisible ink, that our vows spell out—
Thank you, for your affirmation and warm words re: my own marriage (it's work, my friend, just like everything else that matters, but well worth it) <3
You are an ocean of vocabulary and have firm grip on the language and i learnt many things from your poem and thanks to you indeed for putting such a wonderful piece of art my spiritual brother <3
Thanks, for supporting my work. Good to know it's of help to you and wish you best of luck with yours.
What a wonderful ode to the institution of marriage. I do hope @dianarpo read it (I'm sure she did). We say I do also because of the ancient ritual of speaking out loud our intentions to the Universe.
Haha 😂 actually, the busy missus has not read it yet! Emboldened by your comment, I might give her a little guilt trip ;)
Love what you say about voicing intentions to the universe.... just like a prayer. 🙏🏼
I think one of the shortest and most powerful prayers we have.
Don't make the guilt trip too intense :D
Amen.
Did my best to keep it casual, and not linger too, too long ;)
So toching poem
Thank you, Fara 🙏🏼
You aee welcome, if i can request please write about friendship. If you dont mind. I think you will write another touching too.
I really love that poem
Love your poem, sweet words.
Best regard
Thank you, for reading, and your kind encouragement.
I am in that place right now. Everybody is saying go get married but I feel marriage is a chain but at night, alone on my bed, I really wish there was someone by my side that I could talk to. 😂
Timing is everything, brother. Nevermind what everyone says, but listen to your own night whisperings and maybe, one day, you will find that living alone is the real chain ;)