I Hate Your Poem (Original Poem)

in #poetry7 years ago

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I hate your poem -
that spittle you call verse
The pustular oozing of emotional soothing
broken, gnarled and terse

I hate your poem -
and it's childish rhyme scheme
Your dutiful pattern so beaten and battered
Like an unspeakable crime scene

I hate your poem -
in all its shallow banality
Faceless and bland, like laughter canned
Lacking sweat, grit, veracity

I hate your poem -
cause I can't find you within
In all the words told, there's no intimate soul
Empty and hollow, a mannequin

I hate your poem -
that you even think it artistic
Your half-thought rhymes thrown into lines
Like trying to feel a statistic

I hate your poem,
but don't you dare cease
Your simple attempts, adolescent and dented
Are the only path to masterpiece


Notes: Wrote this after discovering how simple and basic many of the poems on Steemit are. Personally, I find they lack depth, nuance, consistent imagery and a general story. Quiet frankly, I find most of them quickly written and amateur. However, as I wrote this poem, I couldn't help but be reminded on how much the poems I hated reminded me of my earliest works from junior high and high school, and then it clicked. People have got to start somewhere and grow. So, the last verse, the one ending on a positive note, was actually a organic catharsis to the poem.

Hope you enjoyed!


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Um, this is EPIC!!!

You rock @somethingsubtle! (That was not subtle at all...)

*I curate poetry with the tag #onehumanbasket

Find out about it here where there is also a poetry dice challenge!*

Thanks.

Poetry dice challenge sounds like an amazing Double Dare activity.

Hate is a pretty strong word; maybe you meant, I did not love?

:D
Meh, it may be hyperbolic, but only a little.

</3 Lol Hate/love your poem too >;3 keep it up!

Thanks. Will do.

Thanks for your time and attention!

Nice rant. I hope as time goes by that you'll offer some constructive comments on my "occasional" poetry. I truly do want to improve. ;)

😄😇😄

@creatr

Thanks.

I try to be positive, but its really tricky to sound constructive via Steemit comment.

And its hard enough getting most young writers to even write. The bluntness with which I can criticize can come off too harshly (just ask my wife). :D

No worries, friend! This poem of yours was is a great rant, and I understand completely!

I think the poetry here on Steemit that bothers me the most either has no regularity or pattern, or rhymes badly, or just doesn't flow.

Another of my frustrations with poetry here is this:

Steemit is for the most part a gentle, caring community. I rarely encounter ill will. Generally speaking, that's a good thing! However, as a consequence, I don't seem to get much in the way of constructive criticism from others with skills and experience who could genuinely help me improve my craft.

I don't consider myself "a poet" generically, but I love to try my hand at almost anything and everything. And so, my appeal to you is quite genuine. I would greatly appreciate (should you be so inclined, and have a little time) any constructive comments on my occasional forays into assorted poetic forms.

Thanks for responding to my comment, and best wishes here on Steemit! :D

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As a lover of words and the art of crafting them, I can find much appreciation in this verse. Have you ever thought of doing spoken word vlogs?

I'm glad you enjoyed. Seeing as it took me a few years to understand Twitter, posting videos on YouTube may take some time. Although, it'd likely be a nice baby step before a poetry slam or open mic.

I'd have to practice my late night radio dj voice. :)

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