And Also The Moon
You are the sun,
and also the moon.
Full of hidden meanings,
you hang above me.
In these dark streets
your light guides me,
and also the moon,
showing me the way.
You hang above me,
I come to you
as a supplicant,
full of hidden meanings.
Soft and silent whispers,
showing me the way.
You are the sun,
in these dark streets.
As a supplicant,
I make you an offering,
in these dark streets,
full of hidden meanings.
I come to you.
You hang above me,
soft and silent whispers
showing me the way.
And also the moon.
As always, this piece is dedicated to the generous and lovely @mamadini.
Thanks to all the Isle of Write members who gave feedback on this piece: @whoshim, @jrhughes, @sunravelme, @authorofthings, and @dbooster
Check out my latest pieces:
- Looking Xenophobia and Nationalism in the Face
- The Mute Poet
- “Git Gud” – You Don’t Want An Objective Review, You Want Your Opinion Parroted
- Poem of Protection - Words of Warding
art and flair courtesy of @PegasusPhysics
The image used in this post is Titian's The Death of Acateon, 1559-1576, and is Public Commons.
© Guy Shalev 2018.
Such beauty and so sensual. <3
There is a light of a light
dark within dark
and shinning
stars to see
And the stars watch everything from above, do they not? The ever-changing face of the moon. The rise and fall of the unconquered sun.
And the blinking stars watch, unblinking.
And yours is the light that speaks through me.
the repeating lines throughout the poem creates a whimsical, almost dreamlike atmosphere that is supported by the short punctuated and consistent stanzas.
the ever shifting verse like smoke the narrator reaches out to only to see it pass through their fingers.
As a reader, it speaks to a deep seated and whole bodied connection as strong as any love story.
It's a beautiful piece, Guy, no wasted words anywhere. ++
I've always wanted to write a poem in this form. The poem I like most, which is written in this form, uses it to weave together fairy-tales, so I very much agree on the playful and half-there feeling it lends itself to.
And well, it is a love story. Thank you for the kind words :)
wow this is awesome upvoted
I like your pairing of the sun and the moon. It makes me think of the fact that the moon is only visible to us because it reflects the sun's light. Good job!
That aspect of the moon is so fruitful for poetry, but it rarely sees mention in this sense. I'm glad I've found a fellow lover of that. If you look at The Ring, a few posts down, you'll see another stanza making use of said image and fact :)
Hello @geekorner,
I'm here via participation in Block Chain Poets.
I found this very interesting and engaging, particularly the device of shuffling repeated lines from one verse to the next. The rhythm you developed is very pleasing.
Thank you for sharing.
I really like how you were able to slightly change the meaning of the title line throughout the poem. It keeps us readers on our toes. Good write.
Not just the title line, but most lines repeat!
Though yes, the title-line in particular was the nucleus of the piece. Glad you liked it :)
Your flow is beautiful... I love how you lead the reader through the relationship.
The tone of worship here...
It is an all-consuming love.
Thank you. I am glad the tone and intent of the piece have come through :)
I do find this form of poetry in particular lends itself to the flow. I'm glad I tried my hand at it.
(you hear an engine rev and horn honk)
MEEP! MEEP!
(the window on the humvee rolls down to reveal a warm smiling face)
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(the window rolls up and the engine roars as it drives to the next person on the list)
Comment by @killerwhale. This is a opt-in bot.
A halo as a guide to our feet,
A great love we find in God to meet,
Soft on the skin,
Gentle on the soul
That is what moon does... A great piece there
But also a thing to throw shade in the night, and twist and twirl our feelings. For there's a reason "lunacy" contains "lunar" within.