Lacrimosa [Original Poem - Reflections #1 Mixed Media Collaboration Contest]
This is an entry for @tinypaleokitchen's Reflections #1 : A Mixed Media Collaboration Contest
The companion post is @morodiene's original song written for this poem.
I wrote the poetry first, and my wife @morodiene wrote her music to it. There were some minor modifications to word choices and syllables so that the music would make more sense and singing would sound better.
My theme tends to be darkness, but in this particular poem there is still a hint of brightness to be seen.
Lacrimosa
In waking my heart from a sullen sleep
Burdens of misery weigh against me
As a gentle hand now yearns
For whom the gods love and dies young
(poem preview only)
Lacrimosa is Latin for "weeping". It's also a name that derives from Our Lady of Sorrows, a title given to Mary, the mother of Jesus. - Wikipedia.
Image by @negativer
Thank you to the folks at the Writers Block on Discord. A great community of writers there, helping each other get better at what they enjoy doing.
For you, this is a hopeful ending. But it's still so darn sad.
It's sadder still when your music and singing is layered atop it.
Wow, a very feeling poem. I am actually being brought to tears just from reading your words.
Thank you for saying so! Nothing better for a writer than to be able to create some kind of feeling in another person.
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Beautiful. I must say, you have put into words the way I feel many times.
Thank you for this. Blessings to you this Christmas season.
Thank you! Have a great Christmas as well!
Darn you, @negativer, for making my cry! I'll get you back. Off to hear your piece of this dynamic duo, @morodiene. You two are adorable, you know!
Thank you for your feelings @jayna :) That's the best response a writer person can hope for.
As I've said before, you are good. Keep it up!
Thanks @bluerthangreen!
I concur with what a few others said here. This poem inspires tears and is one of those peices of art that can hold a myriad of meaning for different readers I think. For me it awoke my grief for my recently departed grandmother. Not a bad thing, the awoken grief that is, as it was mearly hibernating and I feel better for letting it out. Thanks for sharing this great poem @negativer.
Thank you for your thoughtful response @raj808. You're right about the variety of interpretations...I think a lot of good poetry lets your mind add whatever reality is suitable for you to give it extra meaning (just like interpretations of painted art might conjur images of childhood in one person and fear of abandonment in another person).
So deep emotion. My heart squeezes at the sorrow. Wonderful collaboration, you two.
But...
Thank you for your thoughtful comment on this. Your verse from Corinthians is a glorious counterpoint to my darker words.
I love your work! I'm glad you appreciate the verse, too!
@negativer this post was presented at the most recent Pimp Your Post Thursday on the Steemit Ramble Discord. I have written a post to share your featured post. Just stopping back to let you know that you can see your name in lights right here. (Just kidding about the lights :)
Finally, have a very Merry Christmas or whatever you may celebrate at this time of year.
These words weigh deep, man. Like a cloud of dark matter hitting the ocean. Great job :)
Thanks! That was indeed my goal here, to lay a heavy weight amidst your heart.
Mission accomplished! I especially appreciated the part,
"Weak are my limbs as I raise them
Splendid my innocent fall
Teardrops of years upon my heart
Drowns the burdensome memory of pain"
The cadence is so strong and resolute. Clear. Something especially pleasant in the first two lines that I can't quite put my finger on. Maybe some ratio in the syllables that just has a beauty to it.