Musings XXIV

in photography •  last year

Am I selfish enough to withhold my own creations from the eyes of others?

Yeah, I am because I’m The High Priestess. 


The High Priestess is a tarot reference. I’ll be sure to share audio from my tarot reading soon so it makes more sense. The gist of it is that I like to keep myself shrouded in mystery. I have a habit of keeping what I find precious to myself. I’ve also never been great at boasting. Everyday I’m reminding myself that I should put my work out there if I want to receive the type recognition which will keep my engine running. 

If you’ve been following my blog for awhile then you’ll know about my Musings series and even if you’re now getting to know me then you’ve seen that I’m creatively charged. I take my own images, I draw, paint, sew, sculpt and the list only keeps growing. I’d exhaust myself from repeating old words so I’ve got a link to an informative post where I answer questions that other Steemians had for me. ”Ask me anything, answers!” At the end of this post I’ll be sure to link some of my other Musings blog posts. 

You might have wondered why it has taken me until now to update this series. Well, I just haven’t had anything groundbreaking happen in my life or any insightful words to share. There was also an internal tug-of-war happening inside of my mind. I was so proud of this set and my partner was telling me that this was my best work. He even stated that he was envious and wished that he would’ve captured these shots of me. 

I let those words of praise get to my head and instead of resulting in a positive light, I began to have dark thoughts. I found it hard to pick up my camera. Doubt took over and I began to worry that if I released this set then that would be the end. What if it doesn’t get any better than this? Then the need to cultivate this work into my secret stash took over and I wanted to hide it in my box of treasures. 

I guess I should thank those dark doubtful, yet greedy, thoughts of mine because it drove me to flex my creative muscles. I sank deep into a sea of sketches, needing to fill my feed with my drawings to show my fellow Steemians that I had other skills. Then I dabbled in traditional painting (thanks to @jungwatercolor’s contest) which later inspired me to pick up sculpting. 

I started to feel alive again. I learned more about myself. Like how I photograph myself when I feel good or if I want to capture a feeling that can’t be expressed with my hands. I paint for the feeling of nostalgia, sewing brings me peace, sculpting works well for my anxious little fingers because I’m impatient and yearning to have something produced immediately. 

Yesterday ended with frustration for me when I couldn’t upload a video of my time lapse drawings. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I started scrolling through a folder of backed up content and these images, which I have been hoarding, appeared in my line of sight. I chucked softly to myself, thinking about how foolish I’ve been and started to edit them. 


Thanks for reading 🦊


Musings XXIII


Musings XXII


Musings XXI


Musings XX


Musings XIX

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It was your musing series that made me finally want to show my face. If it wasn't for your musings I doubt I would have put half as much thought into @porn-watch posts.

I am a very shy person when it comes to my face and body. I have a lot of body image problems that I am constantly working through. Your just total balls to the wall bravery both in body and mind made me kick myself. It made me question my insecurities and challenge them head on.

So I am glad you choose to share.

Love it! Looking so sultry gorgeous! And don't worry, it's just the beginning I'm sure :) Creativity keeps growing the more you feed the fire!

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Thanks @polebird <3 Feeding my flames may result in a scorching inferno. XD

I always love to see your photos, they are a vice for my eyes I always wait for the next and next photos of you, I really like your personal magnetism, I always wonder what your zodiac sign will be, since you are a very creative and good person for the arts , you have a beauty that passes physical and goes more to the esperitual that attracts a lot to the viewer.
Today I could see your publication that you visited Peru, my country of origin, and that you tried the ayahuasca, I hope you liked our culture although it is so diverse, that one never finishes unraveling all its history.

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Thanks so much @katari! I’m an Aquarius. I’m sure reading up on the sign will tell you a lot about me!

Awesome that you keep working your creative muscles. I know it is a bit challenging and easy to doubt yourself when it comes to creative endeavours. I feel the need to do something other than illustration work such as painting poetry and just general writing. I never seem to find the time. Thing is I'll never have time unless I make time. Anyway, great photos :).

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Making time seems to be the ongoing struggle. I was constantly telling myself that I’d get to it later and then I’d have a huge mess of materials that rot in the corner of a room. XD I did see that you posted a family portrait post last night. It’s always easier to post here when you’ve got a variety of things to share.

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Yes, it is indeed. Luckily, as a family we are a creative lot. That helps and we support eachother's efforts and there is a lot of cross-collaboration amongst the lot of us. Currently we are working on a board/card game that I'll do some posts about once we are a bit further along.

Ahh, I'm always so excited when you put out your musings, such a pleasure to view them.

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Thanks! I’m glad that there are still people who remember this series! 😅

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Darling, how could anyone ever forget you!?

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You’re the sweetest!

I enjoy how you're confident with your body and appeal! And what you write about sounds very familiar to me. I love to observe how you expand your artistic areas, like with the needle felting and sculpting. Recently I felt eager to get back to fimo sculpting, I hope I'll find some time for that soon! Thanks for the inspiration.
Very nice photos!

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Aww, you’re sweet! I’d love to see some sculptures on your blog. I’m sure your ghost character would look super adorable sculpted!

very beautiful girl 😱😍😍 have a nice day follow now

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Thank you! :)

nice looking .you are so beautful girl.

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Thank you. :)

Yes good sex

You are a muse, a creator, an artist, life, love, friend, writer....
my dear friend you are all that is magic! Hugs and love your way sweet lady!