Relationship Tips #13 Is her love language "Receiving Gifts" or she's just plainly materialistic?
The third love language, Receiving Gifts. Does your partner feels extremely delighted when you gave her a gift? Or she keeps asking you to buy her gifts? Or something else?
Find out what is your partner's primary love language here.
Her primary love language could be Receiving Gifts but she could just be materialistic.
How to distinguish between the two?
There are few areas you should consider.
- Her intention asking for gifts
- The way she treated the gift
- The way she treated you if you didn't give
- The specifics of the gift she wanted
- Your feelings when you buy and give the gift
Disclaimer: I am using "she" as a reference only, for convenience and understanding. Feel free to interpret as a "he" if your partner is a man.
1. What's her intention or reason asking for the gift?
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When she answered,
"It's been a long time since I've received a gift from you"
versus
"I want you to buy this because my friend has it."
The latter varies but the former usually doesn't change much.
Note: You might need to ask more questions to find out the real intention.
2. How does she treat the gift after 3 months?
3 months because that is usually the declining period of excitement if your partner is materialistic. They'll get bored of your gifts fast.
If after 3 months, your partner still looks at the gift and reminded of you/your love, "Receiving Gifts" is her love language.
3. How does she treat you if you don't want/forget to give her something?
Throwing a little trantrum is normal. Your partner is simply looking for your expression of love. She'll continue to show her love to you, hoping that you reciprocate.
But if she is controlling you to buy things for her, watch out.
"If you love me, you'll buy this for me."
"I'll dump you if you don't buy this."
"I'll be super sad if I don't have this handbag"
4. Does she wanted something specific or something general?
If she requested or demanded something specific, most likely she wants that gift only.
If she didn't request anything specific, it is your demonstration of love that matters to her. Not the gift.
5. How do you feel when you buy and give the gift to her?
If you feel happy, you're in a positive relationship and most likely, you're meeting her emotional needs.
If you feel fear, you're only being controlled and meeting her materialistic needs.
To decide if she is looking for love from YOU or not, she has to fulfill all of the 5 areas as "Love Language", not "Materialistic".
Share in the comments below on your thoughts,
- How would you decide if your partner is materialistic or simply enjoys receiving gifts because that's your partner's love language?
- Have you had relationships that you need to decide between the two?
- How would you handle a materialistic relationship?
This Relationship Tips series include practical how's and what's of speaking your partner's love language. If your partner's love language is Physical Touch and Quality Time, I will share firsthand experiences of what I've done and its results :)
Relationship Tips is one of my initiative to help people improve their relationship based on a book I was reading The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman and my experiences.
Check out my series here:
Getting Started with Love Language
Relationship Tips #1: Know Your Partner's Love Language Here!
Relationship Tips #2: How to keep the love tank full, or most of the time full?
Relationship Tips #3: Is This "In Love" or "Real Love"?
Love Language #1 Words of Affirmation
Relationship Tips #4:How to Express Love with Words of Encouragement
Relationship Tips #5: How to Express Love with Words of Kindness
Relationship Tips #6: How to Express Love with Requests, not Demands
Relationship Tips #7: 7 Best Ways to Show Love With WORDS
Love Language #2 Quality Time
Relationship Tips #8 Do You have Time for Your Love?
Relationship Tips #9 How to Show Love by Giving Focussed Attention?
Relationship Tips #10 How to Show Love by Listening?
Relationship Tips #11 How to Reveal Yourself? (Yes, this is an act of love)
Relationship Tips #12 You Can Make Time!
I believe having a good relationship will carve a positive path in all areas of your life. This belief is backed up by an 80 year-old research by Harvard University.
@tifaong writes simple and positive practices and ideas that you can learn (or re-learn) and apply in your life immediately. She covers life lessons, self-help, relationships, positive thinking self-love. Her mission is to spread positivity so that we can live a happier life.
Check out her profile here to find out more 😁
She has committed to post daily, so rest assured that you will find something new everyday.
This is a great article and I'm blessed to have had it entered in my contest! I personally am going to recommend these to some folks and go through them myself, thank you for sharing this! I'm hoping to see more of them soon!
If you are interested, please check out @greetersguild. I would love to have you join us and network in our Discord as well as aid in the growth of other community members. Please, feel free to follow the link below to join our Discord chat :)
Great work!
https://discord.gg/kA5WQx
Hi @terminallyill, thank you for dropping by and took your time to read! I really appreciate it! Your kind words made my day!! 😆
I'll be continuing this until I finish the whole book and my ideas, so it could reach till #20+ and I post a new one everyday 😉
Thanks for the invite, I've joined @greetersguild! I would love to help others on Steemit. Thank you so much!
Thank you for your support with SGG! I am sorry for the delay in reply, I have been incredibly busy lately. Your series is amazing by all means, you have a fan and supporter!
Thank you for joining the Greeters Guild and for doing your part to help grow this awesome platform!
Thank you for being my fan and supporter! I really, really appreciate it!
It's my pleasure and it is my intention joining Steemit, helping people to be happy and achieve fulfillment. One way is to help newbies succeed in Steemit :)
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Great insight here @tifaong! In a world with so many selfish and materialistic people, it's nice to see real love dissected to find out what is what! I've always found that for almost anything in life, if you look at people's motivations (or intentions:) you can see the way to their heart. What is the motivation behind their words, actions, gifts...everything? It's a good indicator for sure!
Nice one :) Cheers!
Yeap @lynncoyle1, you got it. Mainly it's the intention or motivation that differentiates between love or materialism. Are you wanting love or things? and Why?
If you manage to find out the "Why" (which is motivation), you'll know. But some are expert in masking their intentions. I'm not experienced enough to uncover their disguises yet. What would you do if your partner is a master in disgusing motivation/intention?
Well my husband (before me) seemed to date a lot of girls where he'd buy stuff for them, because that is how he shows love sometimes. But the girls he dated, I think, only took advantage of his kindness. I on the other hand, don't require gifts, in fact, I don't need a lot of stuff period. He found it really hard at first to not always buy me things then. So he had to learn a new way to show love and I had to prove to him that his gifts didn't matter in the end with me at all. I guess what I'm saying is this: if you can remove the 'thing' that you're unsure of (ie/gifts) and see if that person still responds positively, then you know it's you they love and not the material things. Sometimes it just takes time to figure someone out; the problem is that during that time, you might get totally emotionally invested, so pain is the result. But I'm a firm believer that with pain comes a lot of learning if you listen closely enough.
Oooh okay! I get what you're saying. It's really practical and easy to do, but like you said, it will be emotionally pain once you found out that person is just after your materials and money, not you. But it's better to know earlier than later.
Exactly!! I guess sometimes too, you might "stay" for too long, hoping that you are wrong.
That "hope" is scary... clinging onto a false hope is scary...
Better just end it once and for all, get through all the pain and move on.
I agree 100%. The silly girls who think that they can change someone if they just love them enough...
Yeah...
I wouldn't change myself just because I love someone. Did that, been there, it's suffocating.