Relationship Tips #11 How to Reveal Yourself? (Yes, this is an act of love)

Quality Time (Learning to Talk)

You've learned to [Listen](link to relationship #10), and now you're learning to talk. "What?? I've been talking since I'm young. This is bullshit!"

No, this is not bullshit. You are learning how to talk in a very specific way, Self-Revelation.

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What is Self-Revelation

Disclosing facts of yourself. In the Love Language context, you disclose your emotions and feelings.

If your partner's primary love language is Quality Time, you'd want to listen to them, and they want to know you at a deeper level.

Note: Don't know your loved one primary love language yet? Request him/her to take this quiz to find out. I strongly encourage you to take the quiz as well.

Learning to talk by revealing your feelings can be tough.

Depending on your upbringing, expressing your desires could be catastrophe. As a kid, you might get spanked if you expressed disappoinment at your food. Or get condemned if you want to buy a toy. Or get scolded if you express anger. Eventually, you learn the hard way to close off your desires and emotions.

I used to have a hard time to get emotions out of my boyfriend.

Please let me confess.

Everytime I ask him, "How do you feel?", he'll say either,

• I'm okay
• Nothing
• I'm fine
• Happy (this is the best answer I can get)

And that's pretty much it. He got a lot better now thanks to me persisting in asking more questions. You need to prompt them more, you know? ✌

Is yours similar to mine?

Men, you may think you're being cool and strong by hiding your emotions but your partner doesn't think so.

How can she loves you when she doesn't know who you truly are?

Learn if you must. There is one often overlooked key in a happy relationship.

Be vulnerable to each other.

Undress your armor and expose yourself.

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But how?

If you honestly don't know your feelings, do this simple activity to be in touch with your emotions.

Carry a small notebook and keep it with you daily.
Ask yourself 3 times each day "What emotions have I felt in the last 3 hours?"

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Your list may look like,

Events	Emotions
Scolded by boss	Unhappy and disappointed of myself
Traffic Jam	Happily singing songs in my car
See my love	Grateful that she is by my side

Then, share the list with your loved one.

Expose how you truly feel so that she can finally get to know the true you.

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My Story

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When I was small, I used to believe "If I cry, I am weak." (I forgot how I got this idea). Whenever I feel like crying, I tell myself "If I cry, I am weak. Don't cry!" As I was suppressing all the cooped up feelings of do-not-cry, I broke down badly at one time. I just couldn't take it anymore.

I realized I was denying a part of me. That part is Tifa's Weakness. I hated being weak, or to be more precise, I hated being looked as a weak girl. I want look strong! And strong girls don't cry!

This upbringing still remains in me. I began embracing my weakness and express my emotions more freely to my family and friends. They finally get to know the real me. But I still want to portray I am Strong and Independent. This is my shield.

And I will undress my armor to only those who deserve 😎

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Q: How do you feel in the last 3 hours?

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This Relationship Tips series include practical how's and what's of speaking your partner's love language. If your partner's love language is Physical Touch and Quality Time, I will share firsthand experiences of what I've done and its results :)

Relationship Tips is one of my initiative to help people improve their relationship based on a book I was reading The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman and my experiences.

Check out my series here:

Getting Started with Love Language

Relationship Tips #1: Know Your Partner's Love Language Here!
Relationship Tips #2: How to keep the love tank full, or most of the time full?
Relationship Tips #3: Is This "In Love" or "Real Love"?

Love Language #1 Words of Affirmation

Relationship Tips #4:How to Express Love with Words of Encouragement
Relationship Tips #5: How to Express Love with Words of Kindness
Relationship Tips #6: How to Express Love with Requests, not Demands
Relationship Tips #7: 7 Best Ways to Show Love With WORDS

Love Language #2 Quality Time

Relationship Tips #8 Do You have Time for Your Love?
Relationship Tips #9 How to Show Love by Giving Focussed Attention?
Relationship Tips #10 How to Show Love by Quality Conversation?

I believe having a good relationship will carve a positive path in all areas of your life. This belief is backed up by an 80 year-old research by Harvard University.

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@tifaong writes simple and positive practices and ideas that you can learn (or re-learn) and apply in your life immediately. She covers life lessons, self-help, relationships, positive thinking and self-love. Her mission is to spread positivity so that we can live a happier life.

Check out her profile here to find out more 😁

She has committed to post daily, so rest assured that you will find something new everyday.