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RE: Relationship Tips #13 Is her love language "Receiving Gifts" or she's just plainly materialistic?
Great insight here @tifaong! In a world with so many selfish and materialistic people, it's nice to see real love dissected to find out what is what! I've always found that for almost anything in life, if you look at people's motivations (or intentions:) you can see the way to their heart. What is the motivation behind their words, actions, gifts...everything? It's a good indicator for sure!
Nice one :) Cheers!
Yeap @lynncoyle1, you got it. Mainly it's the intention or motivation that differentiates between love or materialism. Are you wanting love or things? and Why?
If you manage to find out the "Why" (which is motivation), you'll know. But some are expert in masking their intentions. I'm not experienced enough to uncover their disguises yet. What would you do if your partner is a master in disgusing motivation/intention?
Well my husband (before me) seemed to date a lot of girls where he'd buy stuff for them, because that is how he shows love sometimes. But the girls he dated, I think, only took advantage of his kindness. I on the other hand, don't require gifts, in fact, I don't need a lot of stuff period. He found it really hard at first to not always buy me things then. So he had to learn a new way to show love and I had to prove to him that his gifts didn't matter in the end with me at all. I guess what I'm saying is this: if you can remove the 'thing' that you're unsure of (ie/gifts) and see if that person still responds positively, then you know it's you they love and not the material things. Sometimes it just takes time to figure someone out; the problem is that during that time, you might get totally emotionally invested, so pain is the result. But I'm a firm believer that with pain comes a lot of learning if you listen closely enough.
Oooh okay! I get what you're saying. It's really practical and easy to do, but like you said, it will be emotionally pain once you found out that person is just after your materials and money, not you. But it's better to know earlier than later.
Exactly!! I guess sometimes too, you might "stay" for too long, hoping that you are wrong.
That "hope" is scary... clinging onto a false hope is scary...
Better just end it once and for all, get through all the pain and move on.
I agree 100%. The silly girls who think that they can change someone if they just love them enough...
Yeah...
I wouldn't change myself just because I love someone. Did that, been there, it's suffocating.
hahaha and a complete waste of time :)