Please stop complaining
Recently, I saw something that reminds me of an incident happened during my college time.
This happened during my last semester. Two weeks before the semester ends, I have been working on an international cooperation project for my college. The project is conducted in the form of teamwork, with ten individuals in each group and mostly from different countries.
Foreign study method mostly conducted in the form of a team, in this three years I basically slowly accustomed to this way, but what makes this time different is the worst version of the idler.
![](https://steemitimages.com/640x0/https://static.vix.com/pt/sites/default/files/styles/large/public/i/irritacao-nervoso-palavrao-0218-1400x800.jpg)
source
I always thought that the best teamwork should be every member playing their own roles and make a concerted effort to benefit the whole team. However, the reality is: the more responsible the person is, the more work he/she will do. At the same time, there are some people quietly becoming an idler.
In fact, I have no problem with an idler, because everyone will have things that they are not good at, so when I met something I’m not familiar, I will choose to stand aside and observe how the professionals do. However, what I really cannot endure, is those who is an idler, but still complained that others is too free and have nothing to do.
In our group, there is two typical idler; one is a man from South Africa and the other is a girl from China.
About the girl, the first time I met her, she was unusually friendly, maybe because we are the only two Chinese in the group so we can get along easily. After some talk, she had been retaking the course for several times due to family issues, so she was older than us. I think because she is much more mature than us, at the same time understand more things than we do.
However, the first week when everyone was busy studying how to build the model, she sat in the corner and played mobile phones, and then when I said that my model results seemed to be a little far from the standard value, she suddenly came up with: “You spent several days to set up a wrong model!”
After hearing her words, I really was in distress, other than keep smiling; I do not know what to say (after all, I really did not complete it). Then our group leader (from France), come to me and help me check the model parameters.
Because every Friday we have to submit a project progress report, that is, to show the model, and our team model is not correct, so unable to write the analysis report, let alone submit the report. So in those few days, that girl kept telling me, If you can’t finish your model in time, our whole group will be over!
On Wednesday night, I need fix the model, so I tuned my model over and over again, nearly midnight, I finally get the results I wanted.
![](https://steemitimages.com/640x0/http://doingkidsminbetter.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/a9333fa164e8afd5c048b5c91f9505ec.jpeg)
source
The next morning, when I said that the model is finished, the team members are very happy, then the girl surprised me with: “Are you sure that it is finished? (Forgive me for silently cursing you in my heart) The next afternoon, she is constantly questioning my model, and asking the professor to verify my model.
In the end, the professor said, the part that I did was really fine, and she finally stopped arguing. Then she came to me, smiled and said to me, “I still really don’t understand, why is it right.” When I wanted to explain the model to her, she picked up the phone again, so I smiled and lowered my head.
On Thursday, when everyone was busying doing the report for Friday presentation and analysis of the report, the team leader assigned a small task to that girl, but she got angry and said:” Why do I have two tasks, you think I don’t need rest at night? Seeing the team leader face turned white, I hurriedly said “Pass it to me”, I’m not trying to rob the task, but I do not want to let others think that Chinese are not doing anything.
Before that, she complained to me a lot of times, said that the African was lazy and so on, I can only comfort her that it does not matter, maybe he doesn’t understand this model.
The South Africa man should be regarded as a quiet and enthusiastic idler. When we are busy, he usually wears headphones, maybe watching video, maybe listening to music, in short, he is very quiet, doing his own things.
But when a team member completes a certain part of the project, he will show unusually happy, and then actively ask the results, and ask some questions seriously. So, two weeks down, although he did not that many things, he left a good impression on everyone.
One afternoon, the girl said to that man, "Do you intend to do nothing this afternoon?"
He was confused and said, I really have nothing to do, because I do not understand the model.
Then she said, “Can’t you learn?”
After listening to their dialogue, I smirked, I did not expect "a lazy idler" will attack other "idler."
![](https://steemitimages.com/640x0/http://www.alychidesigns.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/lazy.jpg)
source
At this point, I basically understand why she did not do well in her academic before. When it's time to do something, she is playing mobile phone. When someone gives her a task, she refused to accept.
All along, for teamwork, I will do whatever I can do, and will not deliberately measure who do more, who do less, after all, everyone is in the same team (group), but this girl really makes me "sit up and take notice."
I don’t hate idler, but I really hate you as an idler, will not stop complaining about others, now I just want to say, can you be a quite idler at aside?
![](https://steemitimages.com/640x0/https://images.rapgenius.com/29a44e87feda2f4ed4f6d399c1d6cf22.552x369x1.jpg)
source
There will always be such people in life, all harsh eyes are focused on others, but did not really look at themselves.
I hope that every one of you when working with others can be more than a role, less a shirk because no one is obligated to do more, just because of more "responsibility," want to do better. And that's not the reason you put all your responsibilities and obligations on others for granted.
So, please stop complaining because you're really ugly about the way you complain.
![](https://steemitimages.com/640x0/http://i.imgur.com/x2xbRfL.png?1)
![follow](https://steemitimages.com/DQmbvJTzkRiJdXeKwakBb13Z8sdgmynMRN5E19P79zpSNVp/pink-created-by-mightykitten.gif)
good post !
Honestly this post is detaiked and qualifies for a PhD thesis. Striclkly speaking complain is the killer of joy. Thanks for this wonderful piece. I need some more
Thank you for your comment, I will try my best continue to write quality content.
In my opinion, this girl expressed the narcissistic personality traits. She feels superior in general, and that's the reason she didn't do anything, but questioned your work. And she attacked "the other idler" because she had to put the blame on him. If you are interested, read some articles about narcissistic personality disorder and you might find similarities with this girl's behavior.
I never thought that such personality disorder exists. Thank you for sharing this. Too bad the treatment is not well studied, have to find more information about this.
Well, the treatment is a very long process, but often not successful, because those people usually are not able to acknowledge that they have a problem. If you continue exploring the subject you'll understand why is that and how they really feel. .... You are welcome. :) Keep posting good stuff!
You’ve been upvoted by TeamMalaysia community. Here are trending posts by other TeamMalaysia authors at http://steemit.com/trending/teammalaysia
To support the growth of TeamMalaysia Follow our upvotes by using steemauto.com and follow trail of @myach
Vote TeamMalaysia witness bitrocker2020 using this link vote for witness
Because complaining is not a solution. Challenges and obstacles must be faced with a calm mind and positive thinking.
Thanks @walkinharmony for sharing interesting information. Hope you succeed.
Having idler in your assignment group is one of the worst thing in group task. They are just so "idle" that other team members have to cover their back. Still, that chinese girl want to complain so much. Lol. Some people just want to use the shortcuts without contributing.
There will be idler in a group, I have no problem with them, they might have their reason for being "idle". But what I can't stand is they keep on complaining while they are doing nothing.