Market Friday - I just want a coffee!
Right. We're out of coffee. Let that sentence roll around in your mind for a moment. Did you hear what I said? I don't think you understand, so I'll rephrase it for you.
WE'RE OUT OF COFFEE!!!
Now this brings up an interesting dilemna. You guys know my aversion to shopping right? It's not just that Cathy won't allow me, there are legal reasons as well. I'm not supposed to talk about it - that was part of the court settlement, but I will say this...
Ever since the great Twinkie avalanche of 2014 there are several stores from which I have been banned for life. What the hell, I spilled this much, I'll just add what our friend Betty who works at the supermarket told us... Apparently they still bring out that security tape at company parties and the entire room will stop to watch. They replay it in slow-motion. I was the star of course...
First, the strap of my camera bag gets snagged on a large display of Twinkies at the end of an aisle. I pull away, causing the display to tip over and dozens of packages spill across the floor. I then slip, falling backwards into a wall of Campbell's soup cans which crumbles like one of those old buildings being demolished on the 11 o'clock news. For a moment it looks as though the carnage will end, but then a final shelf collapses and takes out another display - hundreds of jars of pickles which explode across the tiled floor. Sister Mary-Angela picked the absolute worst moment to come around the corner leading that little class of first-graders...
When the dust settled and the police and paramedics left the scene the store told me I was persona non-gratta for life. Betty says that upper management at the store gave serious consideration to closing aisle five forever... At least nobody was injured. But I digress.
We're out of coffee.
Let me explain a couple of things now:
- Cathy is not going to a grocery store at 7:00 AM (and I legally cannot come within 500 metres...)
- I'm NOT drinking tea
- I will go to the square and pay two bucks for a coffee at the variety store. Budget be damned, we're talking a basic necessity of life here.
Anouk and his son Sahil are outside the variety store. We chat for a moment. Anouk says he's tired from working two jobs but he is always happy.
I have no time for this nonsense, I'm heading straight in.
Typical little store. It's very hot - the air is off because of construction work. Something about the electric system.
I take a couple of quick shots...
Lazy Joe from next door Lazy Joe's Vinyl comes in with Anouk. They've both seen my camera and Joe wants to know if I actually have film in it. They ask to pose for me...
This part of the store is being renovated. Anouk waves his arms around as he points out where the new shelves will go. I'm going to scream if I don't get coffee soon! (but I can quit any time I want, hehe!)
Finally!
Sahil shows me that the cookies I like have come in. I only have two bucks. Are they free today I ask? Apparently not!
On the way home, I stop to take some shots of flowers. As Denise says "Always flowers."
Denise is one of my very best friends online. She knows this quite well, but in case she ever wondered why I don't often post in #MarketFriday... the judge made me promise to always let Cathy do the shopping! He was quite insistent actually. No kidding!
#MarketFriday is the creation of @dswigle and you simply MUST go read her post, here:
https://steemit.com/marketfriday/@dswigle/market-friday-goes-to-the-bookstore
It would be way cool if you checked out my recent posts!
* Houseboats for Monomad
* Two Gates for #GateThursday
* Shadow Photo Contest Round 30 - textured wood shadows ~ The Boardwalk
* I Hope You're Not Planning To Steal That Bike!
* Mule Deer, Baby Osprey, Howitzers and West Coast Baseball.... Must be TreeTuesday!
🤣🤣🤣 This is hilarious! I almost spit out my third coffee of the day!
You aren't the only one this happens too. My husband and his mother were banned from ever setting foot in Walmart! His mother used an electric scooter. I needed to go to work and he was working in the shop when he got a call from Walmart about his mother had lost her car...Now she no longer had a car or licence to drive (for obvious reasons), so hubby went down to the Walmart to sort things out.
Mother-in-law decided that since she was there, they should do some shopping, in the ladies undergarments! Well, off she goes full speed, knocking over the end of aisle displays with the back end of the scooter. No small feat. Then she found the bra display and somehow got the front fender caught on the display, put the scooter in full reverse pulling down the entire display and backing into a rack of nightwear. As hubby and two sales assistance (associates, sorry) were trying to disengage the scooter from the displays she managed to speed off front ways pulling the whole mess down the centre aisle of the store.
By now the management is coming down to see what all the ruckus was about. Needless to say, both were escorted as soon as possible to the parking lot with the stern advice to never grace Walmart's door again!
Fabulous story, thanks for sharing! That's a scene where I would love to see the video replay! :)
I would have too, but sometimes discretion is the better part of valour...
Your story was so well written too, you're really terrific! :)
Thank you!
Omg!! This gave me a laugh but I can kinda see it happening too..lol! You must never let the coffee get so low without backup. Just saying! Loved the story and photos! Pretty flowers!!
There actually was a little coffee, but it was decaf. I fail to see the point of these silly little coffee-flavoured molecules of nothingness. Doesn't smell right either if you ask me! Thank you very much! I wish you a wonderful weekend :)
You're welcome! Wishing you a wonderful weekend as well!!
Thank you @pixresteemer!
Hilarious @keithboone. Exellent post. 😁
Thank you, happy you liked it!
You know you have a place in my heart, always, Keith. Ever since that very first rant you gave over on the now defunct TSU. The rest is history. Your words are your superpower!
Now if you could just stop getting banned from places, we'd be in business. Poor Cathy. You married quite the trooper who obviously has a great sense of humor or you are secretly rolling in it and not telling us.
Getting back to that twinkie avalanche... Sister Mary-Angela picked the absolute worst moment to come around the corner leading that little class of first-graders... Growing up, Sister Brendan Marie would have told us that we were being punished for something we did. So perhaps you really did do a good deed? There has got to be a silver lining in here somewhere!
Anouk and his son seem pleasant and quite easy-going as you are taking pictures. I like their store, it reminds me of the neighborhood bodegas in NYC. They have everything, and then some. I am glad you got your coffee, although I know you can quit anytime. Hehe.
Yeah, yeah... me too. Faster, in fact. :)
You are a man with a dozen yarns, just begging to be tugged at. Nobody tells a story like you do. I swear to God. You had me laughing before I even arrived here. Thanks so much for being part of #MarketFriday! It is so much appreciated and now that I know why, well, of course you will be excused with a note from your grocer, cosigned by Cathy.
Upped and Steemed
Tip!
That's funny Denise! I wonder what that rant was? Probably something about plagiarism. I used to go nuts about that issue there. I complained so much I got blocked by one of the top guys, but Sebastian used to comment on my stuff. People would screen-capture my photos and post them again as their own. One kid told me "it's the internet, we can do anything we want!"
When I first learned how to make a formal complaint, I received a message from Support that was so over-the-top it was comical. It said stuff like "We most deeply and sincerely apologize for the outrageous and inexcusable theft of your valuable and wonderful artwork..." I'm not doing it justice. The language was so stilted and awkward, it seemed to me at that it was the first time they had to deal with the issue. Nobody thought theft would occur.
I really appreciate your support, Denise. I truly don't "go to market" often, but I will always take a camera if I do. When I do shop, it's so fast it would make your head spin. Got some new sandals the other night. They came from a thrift shop, but they were absolutely brand new. $8.00. No, $6.00 because they gave me a seniors discount. Total time elapsed: 2 minutes 15 seconds, and only that slow because of some dummy in line ahead of me!
Have a great weekend, Denise. Thanks for everything you do <3
It was! That was when I was totally taken with the rants! You do them so well. You pontificate like nobodies business! Hehe.
And then there was the rant when you were leaving. That made so many people sad. Your photography was amazing and well, you were riding off into the sunset. Fakebook, but, what's the difference? Where was I going to get my rant fix with you hiding up in Canada, making jokes about planting bushes to keep me out? OMG, I died laughing over that one. That was going to be your wall in protest over the Mexican/US wall.
They really didn't take plagiarism very seriously. I had things lifted and my photography pretty much sucked. I am thinking that they would think I might be honored in some way. Ha! They never did anything about it.
I know you don't go to the Market, as a matter of fact, I know you have gone to the market just for #MarketFriday, so the effort lives within. I love when I go to a Thrift Shop and the original tags are still on it. Score! Two minutes and 15 seconds? Hello? I haven't even put my sunglasses in their case and put them in my purse!
Slowdown, you're moving too fast! Have a good one too! Safe travels and all that happy hoo-ha. Thank you!
Thank you for being a friend
Oh I remember that joke. I forget who came up with it, I think it was something I shared:
"Concerned, but unwilling to make a scene, Canada quietly plants a privacy hedge along its entire 5,000 mile long border with the USA"
And then there was a photo of a road blocked by a five-foot hedge, and you can just see someone mowing the lawn on the other side...
Haha! Good times.... ;)
YES!!! It was definitely something you shared! I laughed myself stupid with that one!
Good times indeed! LOL
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Thanks so much, I greatly appreciate it!