Sometimes all we need is a motivation

Many times, when we faced trouble, we will choose to talk to our friends or family, not to complain to them, or ask them for solution, but is to hear them say: "Don't worry, you did well, maybe you are really close, just continue working hard, there is still room to improve." Although we understand the principle, sometimes encouragement from a friend or family members will bring us a lot of motivation.

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In fact, it is not because of we do not have the ability, just that most of the times, it is our first encounter, so we don't have much confidence to do it well, the inner tension and fear make us have no way to work normally, so we will always make mistakes. But in fact, after you try a few times, learned from the failure every time, find the point of failure, break through it, hold on and you will succeed.

When it comes to this, the opposite of motivation is criticism, and the rural parents like to teach their children in this way, they will not easily praise their children, more often in a critical irony way, and always compare their children's shortcomings with the advantages of other children, using the gap between the two to motivate their children to study hard.
My parents are like this, and I feel disgusted. I came from the countryside, I don’t have good results, but my results are improved year by year.

I studied Software Engineering at my university, and I was able to get a degree, but a second upper still makes my heart hurt. My mom and dad are always nagging: "Look at xxx, he did so well; xxx didn’t go to college but his annual salary is thrice of yours."

I know they say these words is to inspire me, let me know my shortcomings, and constantly improve myself. But every time I hear them say these things, in my heart: "I'm their son, why can't you trust me?"

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One day when I was looking for a job, I started a joke with my parents, I said what if I can not find a job, I’m having so much stress even before employment, all those good enterprises are for those top graduates. They won’t look at graduate like me. Then they said: "That four years of college is wasted, wasted my money, it would be better if you find a job after graduated from high school."

I was anxious, but they were more anxious than me. In fact, I just want them to say: "Son, don't worry, finding a job is not that urgent, now is just the beginning, you just graduated, try to adjust your mindset and get ready to find the right one.”

But these words are really hard to come out from their mouths, perhaps I am a child that lacks love. Many times I longed for parents can give me more encouragement, allow me to have a sense of security, let me know no matter what kind of trouble I am in, they will silently supporting me, be my shield, rather than blindly criticize me. Maybe they've gotten used to this kind of expression, so I can only try to communicate with them.

A lot of things feel rooted in my heart, it's really hard to change. I am afraid to speak in public, always timid when dealing with things, and easy to lose myself in front of people who are stronger than me. But a lot of times I just wish someone can say to me: “Do not be afraid, be yourself, you are still young, don't frame up by those rules, do what you want to do as long as you did not violate the law and not against the moral.”

Perhaps my heart is not strong enough, but the strong people will also have a weak side, at some point, they will need friend's concern, need encouragement from family, need a companion.

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A few years ago, I was quite envious the famous people's life and love life, because they do not have to consider the days without money, a movie can be paid for our lifetime, but they will also have their own problems, because their work is busy, they have no time to accompany their family, no time with their loved one, resulting in a variety of contradictions.

I do not want to give out negative emotion here, just to convey some experience with my own experience: Encourage a friend that needed it, perhaps your words can change his life! Don’t be stingy with your praise and eulogize, if you can help others, why not bring happiness to others!

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