Random Thought #1: I’m lost and confused after working for a year

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My life is not as I imagined, I believe the reason is, along the way I did not try to live the life I wanted.

All the expectations come from our previous inexertion.

During university, I have a low self-esteem, I will plan everything, I will study hard, and enrich myself. In my first year of university, I joined the English club, reading club, and even fantasy to learn the guitar.

But everything does not work out as I think, after joining the English club, I had persisted for half a year every morning to read for an hour. When I just started, I take it seriously, but in the end, turned into people where keep showing off themselves, although there is an improvement, this is not the purpose of learning. The reading club gives me the most benefit, allow me to calm down and read, no one will disturb me, free to read anything, I read 6 to 7 novels, and also learn how to read in peace.

As long as you are willing to work hard, God will not disappoint you.

After I failed my first year, the environment forces me to study hard, had to give up on some indifferent activities, I have to mend my courses, in the second year, I able to get good results, and passed the third year without any problems, and finally prepare for the final examination.

When you're arrogant, God will always joke with you.

I sign up for the remedial classes and seriously prepared for the final exam, the mathematics-related subject is the subject that I prepare with all of my efforts, and I have a good feeling, I even won some mathematics competition before. Winter came to the New Year's Eve, I was answering the question in trembling, the days were cold, and I was nervous and unable to answer any of the questions, I know that I will fail this exam. But luckily, I passed the exam.

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Hard work is not the way I want it to be, and I'm lost.

Internship, work, overtime, finally I do not know how I should continue. Hard work during overtime has been recognized, but what can I do, because I have lost myself, and I do not know how to fall in love, do not know how to face the future of life, do not know what I will become.

I wish those who read this post will remember your original intention, remember why you work hard, don't lose yourself.

~~This post is written after a year of working. ~~

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