Standing at the Precipice of a New Life: A Lesson in Trust

It has been a year since I experienced a huge transition in my life. Up until that point I was pretty sure I knew who I was, quite comfortable just being me. I left my home, family and friends to start a new life in a new province and was so confident that I could handle the challenge. As I look back on the last year however, I feel sad. It has been a tremendously difficult twelve months and I did everything physically, mentally and emotionally possible to get through it. In that way it was successful as I feel more settled now, but I am drained and I have never felt this drained in my entire life.

Surviving out here has been our biggest concern. I left a stable, well paying job having decided that there was more to life than the rat race. It's true there is more to life than materialism and I would not go back to it, but geez I had never imagined how testing making less money would be. Not only that, but moving from a big city to the country just added to a feeling of isolation, to an extent. Although we have met some wonderful people here, the loneliness that comes from being away from your family, friends and cultural ties is staggering at times. I even miss certain foods that I cannot get here! For an Italian Canadian who loves Italian food that is a big deal. :)

Most importantly though, through all this change and surviving it all, I have not had any time to myself and as such have lost interest in any of the hobbies that I used to do so fervently. Furniture refinishing, drawing, writing, decorating have all but gone to the wayside. My creative drive is oddly gone. I recently asked myself if I was depressed and concluded that I must be. It's not in my nature but certainly possible. This evening I logged back onto Steemit after being away for some time and oddly enough, I stumble upon two blog posts that struck a chord with me - a little divine timing perhaps? A big shout out to chbartist and supernova55 for helping me to realize that one: I need to keep my thoughts and ideas positive and two: my life is a blank canvas right now and I am not the same person I was a year ago. Check out their posts!

It's like a light bulb just came on, illuminating what has been right in front of me the whole time. I have turned a page in my life and am in the process of re-creating it. I am at the precipice of that proverbial blank page . What will I create? Will I let my fears and worries get the better of me? Or will I embrace this exciting prospect of building a new dream? Only time will tell but I think it starts here.

From here on end I must remember to flow with the current, trust it and let it carry me to the great wide open.