A N G E R
I am so angry right now.
I just wrote a whole blog post that was very detailed and well thought out.
Only, because I have a terrible internet provider where I live, the connection crapped out and I lost the whole thing. I thought I had succesfully posted it and time was of the essence so I didn't copy and paste it elseware, I just closed down, packed up shop, and left.
And when I got to my destination -- alas! There was no post.
This has me so mad because I don't want to rewrite it, but I probably just will. But it won't be the same.
But this experience itslef got me thinking...
Could you answer a question for me?
Have you ever been so mad that you wish you had access to a room filled with about a dozen chairs that you could destroy with your bare hands until you collapsed with exhaustion?
I know I have.
That might actually be a business. Because I'm sure I'm not alone in this.
Sometimes the best relief for anger is just to hit things and break them. It's therapeutic.
But our culture does not accept this...
It is generally believed that outward expressions of anger or excitment or stress or any other similarly intense emotion are innapropriate.
But why?
These are emotions that are just as real and valid as any other like love or embarasment or disgust. But as a culture -- at least where I live -- the satisfying expression of anger or stress is not allowed.
We are expected to just take a deep breath and "let it go."
But why?
I'm mad. I'm pissed off. Why should I hide that? If I deny myself the expression of these emotions, it's not like they just dissapear. No, they get barried and packed onto other barried emotions untill it creates a powederkeg that explodes at the most inapropriate time.
Western culture needs to learn to express ANGER
This is probably why I like the movies Angry Birds and Fight Club.
Sometimes we get angry. And you know what? Most of the time there's a reason for it, and we should express that anger in a satisfying way. Because if we don't satisfy the anger, the source of it will likely never be managed.
Anger is one of those emotions that is hard for modern Western culture to handle. We used to have rules to mange anger. We had duels, or it was considered appropriate to "take things outside". But these conventions are more or less gone now. That doesn't mean that the source of the anger or the emotion itself are gone -- only the means to appropriately express them.
Fear of being hit
People avoid expressing their anger for many reasons. One of them is a fear of being hit.
This is something I overcame long ago as a martial artist.
When I was a kid all through my late teens, I was an avid martial artist. Although I was tall and skinny, I was known for being able to take a hit.
As a 17 year old kid I would love to spar with the big Italian black belt named Vinnie, because he was the strongest guy and he didn't hold back like the others did. We would spar and he would hit me good and hard, and I would hit him good and hard when I could. I started to develop a certian kind of pleasure out of being able to take serious blows. I knew that it would give me more courage and bravery in my life.
In reality, not being afraid to take a hit -- and further, knowing the limits of the damage you can take -- is healthy, especially for men. Once you no longer have fear of being hit, of taking damage, of failing, then you are free to persue your goals in life with the knowledge that you can take it and you'll be alright.
So, right now...
It does feel a little better to write about this.
But, to be honest, if it was generally socially acceptable to do it, I would find the next able-bodied guy that walks buy and invite him to fight or wrestle me. I know it would be physically satisfying even if I lost, and it would probably even be an opportuinty to make a new friend.
Guys are weird like that.
Or is it just me?
Tell me what you think
Is this insane, or am I on to something here?
Have you ever felt like you really just wanted to hit something, to cause damage, to take damage, to be satisfied of your anger or stress?
Share with me below.
Know how you feel. Did a long reply just this morning to an article, and clicked the re-steem button INSTEAD of post FIRST. Reply window vanished. All my thoughts blown to smithereens...
But your post got me remembering how I first got started in programming. I was living in Santiago, Chile in the mid-'80s during the protests and demonstrations against their dictator at the time, General Agusto Pinochet. Anyway, I'd been laboriously typing out a program I wrote on a Timex Sinclair Basic. It was a spreadsheet program I recall, and I had to save all my work periodically on a tape recorder at 300 baud. So I'd been really into the code of this thing one night - spending hours & hours entering and testing it - and of course, in my enthusiasm, forgetting to SAVE the damn thing to tape. All of a sudden, at about 3:00am, a terrific blast goes off outside our house at the next corner. All the power goes out. My little computer crashes. All is lost in a heartbeat! Turns out, someone had planted a homemade bomb nearby and blew out the neighborhood bank. Lesson learned: ALWAYS BACKUP YER STUFF CAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN THE SHIT's GONNA HIT THE FAN! :-)
Advice: Do it over. You've mulled it over in your head so much by now it'll probably come out better anyway and you'll be THANKFUL you did!
Upvoting this one for that story alone. Damn, man! Make a post about that :D When you do make sure to let me know. I used to listen to a lot of existential indie short stories on my iPod, and for some reason Pinochet was mentioned a lot.
And I actually did re-write the post and will be posting it shortly.
Great :) Can't wait to see it!
If you head over to that post the same way you first found it: by browsing the trending section for example, or seeing it in your feed, or on someone's blog, your comment should be there.
SORRY. This can be the most frustrating thing in the world. I have Amazing internet and it has happened to me on a couple SteemIt posts.
Im going to tell you a story. I was supposed to fill out an online application for a job that they make way too difficult to get and I am way too overqualified for. I keep getting errors, javascipt, and the application is almost all on one page. No way to save. I spend a very long time on the first attempt and get 3/4 the way down the page.... IT LOGGED ME OUT.. i get back and its all gone. SOO PISSED. Then i try again and hurry a little faster this time....LAST F***ing box it logs me out.
I sent a really mean email to the head hunter/recruiter. A couple of days later I tried again. It was a puzzle/game now. First attempt I was writing a simple summery in the last box and what happened? It logged me out again.
Keep in mind that i am copy & pasting all the data into boxes, except maybe the last box. The last try i got it even though i knew that job
Ohh and i got an email right after finishing it says the job was filled.
DOES THIS MAKE YOU FEEL ANY BETTER?
Yeah, that's bad. I've done applications like that, too. Not that bad, but I sympathize.
i should have gone more into that I sympathize and less trying to get the attention. My point was that I feel your pain. I actually almost broke something for you.
Sounds like the worst
Lesson learned :). It turns out that this post could be much better compared to the one you accidentally lost.
It's a lesson I already know lol. That's one of the things that sucks about it. And yeah, this post sure has a lot of upvotes right now... hmm... 273. That's insane!
I actually did write the article again and I'll be posting it here in a minute. So we'll see how they compete! :D
kick to the chest .. THIS .. IS .. ANGER!!!!
And I can hear the "r" being pronounced like "aaaaaaah!" lol
Wow! A topic I don't hear about often enough. I find myself comparing how I deal with anger and stress to how I perceive other's outlets/reactions. Sharing this with friends for sure.
Excellent. Thanks. :D
Don't you think there's been a cultural suppression of emotions, especially in men? I don't get that because I happen to be a very emotional man. I get very happy, I cry, I break down, I get elated, and I also am fine not feeling anything. I don't understand how or why people don't head their emotions and express them. I guess it's considered weak or something, but I find it to be a measure of maturity.
Thanks again
You should be able to express all emotions. It's good for the soul.
This aversion to anger is more of an upper-middle class thing than anything else. you could tie it in with the cultural marxism tinkering of our society, but it started long before that
working class and poor men still punch each other on a normal basis; confrontation either leads to a show of face until one guy has a legitimate reason to back down, or a fight happens
the trend in the middle class has lately accelerated with the push against competition and contact sports
male fighting in a normal setting usually doesn't lead to serious psychical harm; in some poor cultures tho, face is only recovered with blood
Weird point for me to think about... I was always a poor kid who grew up around middle-upper-class families. I always felt like I had to physically prepare myself for things. Strange...
there is almost always an in-group out-group dynamic in humans that changes the rules...as apllied to the outsider ;>
I grew up in a mixed middle-class/working-class neighborhood, but the local culture was pretty blue-collar; this was also before the soccer mommies started dominating the political landscape, too
It must be very frustrating to lose all a job, but I consult? Sorry for my ignorance, because you do not write in work, save it corrects and finally upload it, that way you will always have a backup, thank you very much dear friend @shayne for sharing this experience
I'm sorry that I don't quite understand your post, but I appreciate it anyway and I want you to know that! :D
Hell Yes.
All The F**king Time.
Good.
Heehee this gave me a giggle. I feel your pain!! And yes, I believe anger is totally healthy and suppressing it is unhealthy. It will always rear it's head until it's released. E-motion is energy in motion. It wants to move through us.
It's interesting how society has 'evolved' to shun many emotions, including anger. I think we've become so intellectulised that we've forgotten what it is to be human. We have lost our nature, and in my view that is not doing us any good at all.
With all that being said, I think people first need to understand anger (and all emotions) more. Like you said, there are reasons for anger. Some are more complex than others - e.g. people suffering any kind of PTSD. That needs much deeper attention.
I have many more thoughts on this topic but it's late and I gotta sleep!
Mostly when I get angry, I swear alot. Which offends a lot of people as it's also socially unacceptable. You can have a chair room and I'll make a swear room. 'chair and swear ltd.' We're in business ;)
You make a good point. And don't you think that a more complete human is one who is deeply intellectual AND emotional?
I once met a writer who I admired. We went out a few times and had drinks and ate steak. He was the most well learned person I had ever known... and then, one day, he was driving us somewhere and a guy was seriously tailgating the car. He pulled the car over so quickly and got out furious -- like he was a wild animal -- and put his arms out and approached the other car, saying "Oh, you're a tough guy, huh?! You're a real tough guy!"
The other guy sped off with a look of shock on his face that was so funny lol. My friend taught me a lot about masculine emotion. And I've been learning a lot about it on my own, too.
heheh great story! Humans are funny creatures :) sounds like that guy was having an emotional flashback where the current event triggers past trauma and his reaction is way out of proportion with the event.
I agree emotional and intellectual intelligence is required. I actually also think there are two more - instinctive and intuitive. I made a video about this a while back as some people thought spiritual people (like me ;p) were thick! Maybe they are right ;p but I had to explore it further. We are so consumed by this idea that head brain intelligence is everything. Personally, I don't agree....
A New Definition Of Intelligence (am I thick because I'm spiritual?!)
Cool video! Thanks so much for sharing!
Well, yes, I have been that mad but I know the chair would hurt me more than I would hurt it. LOL You might have an absolutely awesome business if you were to offer a room like that! The main problem I see would be scheduling visits (no planning ahead!) and recycling broken chairs. :)
I remember hearing about a business in New York where they would rent out time in a room filled with junk furniture and a tv. They'd have to sign a waiver, give you goggles and a baseball bat, and let you go to town.
My idea is a bit more personal because I used to destroy chairs as a young man and it was very satisfying. I'm not talking recliners or anything... more like, cheap lawn chairs I guess. lol
Seriously? TOO FUNNY! Well, if you ever need another occupation you've got an idea! You could also have them sign a waiver and record the sessions. It might be therapeutic for other people to watch someone else destroying furniture. Vicarious anger venting?