For the sake of transparency let's challenge ourselves with 8 questions

Today I want to do something different. I want to create a challenge. There's no rewards in this because I really suck at maths, however this should get you thinking and provide you with some great content to work with for an hour or two.

The challenge is this:

Ask yourself these questions and then answer them for your audience.

Sounds simple, right? Well, there's a catch -- these questions are super hard to answer, and mainly because they are about ourselves, and generally as a rule, most people aren't 100% honest with themselves. So the challenge is to look deep inside yourself and try and answer them as truthfully and honestly as possible. As I'm a great believer in leading by example, I'll go first.

Here goes:

1. Who am I really?

I'm Raymond, nice to meet you. I'm a man that see's the positive in every situation, in every person. I'm a man that tries to draw out the positives of others and teach them to work on the negatives because I believe we can all improve on one aspect of our lives forever. This is my greatest asset and also my biggest flaw. I jump in feet first with love, I forge friendships in cast-iron and try to keep them until my dying breath. I'm hugely forgiving, but not forgetting. I'm strong willed and independent but on the other hand I'm as gentle as a dandelion and can sometimes be massacred by a stiff breeze. I'm hardcore. I've certainly lived the life of a rock star but left that all behind me. I believe in love, compassion and empathy, and I try to lead with this with whomever I meet. I'm not perfect, and I forgive myself for not being perfect. I am the sum total of all my fuckups I've ever made.

2. Are my actions guided by love? Or by fear?

I can't say that I fear much in this world, not even death. Death is the only constant. My actions are 100% guided by the love for others. If I'm pressurised by fear then I tend not to act, and disappear from the fear-givers life.

3. Is the life that I am living the life I want to be living?

Yes and no. I'm on the right path. I feel that this is the direction that I want to be going in and I'm really enjoying the journey, but my ultimate goal is to be supping ice cool coke on a blistering hot beach somewhere warm with palm trees. So there's a way to go yet. I can't say that I'm not happy though. I don't feel stuck, I don't feel like my destiny is being planned out for me. I feel in total control over what happens with my life.

4. Am I holding onto something that I need to let go of?

Yes. My friendship with one of my closest friends who recently ghosted me on social media. I know I should let it go because when I began to better myself then we started to become incompatible. He is a person that places his worth on whatever he owns; cars, houses, jobs, etc whereas I'm a person that places worth on however you feel about yourself on the inside. We started to become incompatible when I began to get irritated with his boasting of how much he owns when I know for sure he doesn't think much of himself on the inside. We had an argument and he ghosted me. I know I should let it go but our friendship lasted for over a decade. I don't like losing friends. As I say, I try to accept people for who they are and understand that there will always be differences between friends. I try not to focus on our differences. I like to focus on what binds us.

5. What matters most in my life?

Honestly? My Son. Followed closely by my wife. Those two are my guiding light. I watch as an observer with those two and as much as I like to be in control I also like to sit back and be lead, because by doing both I can learn from each of them. I've recently learned that I am autistic, and I only learned this from close observation with Alex and realising that his actions are similar to mine. As a high functioning autistic person I feel as though I've learned some super duper coping mechanisms over the years which I plan to pass onto him. Natalie? I literally wouldn't be here if it wasn't for her love and constant support. She helps me in ways you couldn't imagine.

6. Have I done anything lately worth remembering?

A few things. It's memorable to me anyway. I gave someone some cash so that he could finally purchase the rental property he needed to avoid homelessness. A couple of years back one of my mentee's won a National award. I've also won several community awards. Yeah, I guess I do memorable things a lot.

7. When did I last push the boundaries of my comfort zone?

My comfort zone is very large right now. I think the last time I pushed them was dealing with the school absentee officer on my own when Natalie was unwell. Our school has ridiculously high standards when it comes to absence and Alex being a child with additional needs struggles with 100% attendance. I had to deal with her condescending tone about how I should manage my son's attendance better.

8. How can I be more helpful--to those around me, and to myself?

I know this already. Listen to my wife more. Instead of grunting at her when I'm writing or playing games I need to stop and listen. It doesn't take long. I'm trying to get better than this. Be more loving with Alex. As much as I love him we still clash and sometimes Natalie needs to be the mediator. I am trying to be more accepting around him. Visit my friends more. I suck at leaving the house right now because I'm SO busy. I need to just stop, release the stress for a bit and visit a friend or two!

That's it - 8 questions done. I challenge each and every one of you to copy/paste the questions and try them by yourself!!

Think I have game? :)

Check out some of my previous posts!!

Learn to detach from outcomes - it will help you
Are you a manager and are you invested in your staff?
A second, and more in depth Introduction
I want people to like me. Do you?
Support is necessary in a loving relationship
I'm human and I think you are too. Fuck labels. I'm tired of them.
A message for the survivor amongst us (If you're listening)
My vulnerability exposed
Sometimes I feel like a fraudster
How my autism affects being a Dad
So you're going to be a Dad?
I am aware of my privilege but I don't understand it

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