Papa Rodin Recovers - Goddamn Butchers
Greetings, Steemians and Steemettes!
I made my glorious not so glorious return from the butchers fun house! Still alive, still kicking. Hurting a lot, but I guess that is part of the deal. Ah well, I can't complain, I asked for it after all.
50 Greyshades of Rodin
So what was wrong with me?
Nothing really, that's the fun part about it. I have some lipoma on some parts of my body, had them for many years. Never caused me any problems, so you could say that we coexisted in mutual respect. Whenever I went to a doctor, I would ask him about it if I thought about it and all of them would agree on saying that they are no reason to worry.
Of course, my ex-girlfriend and her mother found themselves disagreeing. At some point last year, they expressed their earnest concern for me having these things left barely checked. They urged me to see a butcher and have them cut out. Just in case. Of course, I was against it and of course, women can be very convincing. A couple months ago, I decided to go to the butchers house and told him all about my predicament.
The butchers funhouse
As the fact that I call surgeons, arguably one of the publicly most respected line of works "butchers" should give away, I am not fond of doctors. Or the entire field of medicine for that matter. The only thing that I dislike more is coming into a clinic. Being put into a tiny room with sick people is the worst. Imagine you pretending to be sick and ending up actually being sick after visiting your doctor because some poor sod coughed at you. Or the other way around!
Or, even worse, two people having different diseases and sharing the pleasure with one another! Yeah, that's not what I like to do in my free time.
There are reasons for my distaste for everything regarding this topic and as per usual, most of them are money related. Maybe the one at fault is me, but I feel like almost all problems in the world I see can be traced back to money and financial issues by me. But let us put that to the side.
The good thing about being invited to the slaughterhouse is that there are no actual sick people for the most part. A lot of broken ones, sure, but at least nobody is sneezing. I saw some broken legs and arms, a lot of people having difficulty walking and some who apparently had no problems whatsoever. I'd wager that they have similar loved ones like I had that just enjoy seeing their beloved ones bleed on a table.
Ah, love.....
Meeting the butcher
As I told you earlier, I went to the butchers funhouse a couple months ago for the first time. I then had to wait for weeks until I actually saw the butcher for the first time. These weeks of waiting time paid off because after waiting for another hour in the waiting room with broken people, I was finally able to talk to the butcher.
For five minutes.
That is all he needed. In that time, we had a nice conversation, I told him my case, he took a look at me, asked me how we should operate and.....that's it. His girls gave me an appointment that would happen another couple weeks later. This morning, in fact. At least whoever was in line after me didn't have to wait much longer.
Chop Chop!
So today was the day, today would be the day where the butcher would finally slice me open! Let me tell you a thing about this guy, he knows how to make you suffer. I entered the room and saw the butchering table in front of me. The sister asked me to take my clothes off and lay down on it. Got my shot of local anesthesia and waited for the butcher to come in.
45 Minutes later
At last, the butcher came in. I heard nobody screaming in the meantime. That either means that he had no previous customer or that he is good enough at his job to end his customers without them being able to make a sound. One way or another, I was looking forward to becoming his next victim.
We did a bit of smalltalk. I talked about my new job for a bit while he, of course not knowingly showed me his butchering knife. There is a certain intimacy between meeting the one who is going to slice you open before the actual act happens. I can see that a lot in torture. Before the actual fun begins, victim and torturer get to know each other for a bit, the torturer presents his torturing tools and muses about what tool would have the best effect on you.
Then he began.
Five minutes later
And we were done.
Anti climatic, isn't it? The anesthetic was good enough for me to not feel a thing, the doctor sliced me open cleanly, tried to take out the lipoma, noticed that it was bigger than expected, cut me open a bit more for good measure and pulled the thing out of me. Afterwards, he and the sister patched me back up and I was free to go. The sister even allowed me to take a picture of the lipoma.
It's disgusting. So I will better not show it off here.
Now I am sitting here, about 12 hours have past since I have given you my previous post and the anesthetic is losing effect. I can barely move anymore without feeling some stingy pain. In my head canon, I can feel the butchers knife finding it's way back into my flesh. It's great. Needless to say, I have to keep actual movement to a minimum for the moment and wasn't able to go to work for today. Won't be going tomorrow either.
They offered me to file me sick for 10 days and in any other situation, I would have gladly taken the opportunity, but because I just started in my new job, calling in sick this early for so long can't be done.
So I hope that my enhanced superhuman regenerative powers will have me back up until monday.
My Dad has had 3 big lipomas in different parts of his body for as long as I can remember him. One in back, two under the thorax on each side. All doctors told him "if they don't hurt you, leave them alone". He's 82 now, the lipomas and him coexist peacefully ... and have done so for half a century.
Same with me, only that I am only one third of your grandpas age and have a couple more than just three lipomas.
Aside from the one I have had taken out right now, there may be one that I want to have taken out myself because it sits basically on my spine which can make lying on my back uncomfortable at times. Aside from that, I will keep the lipoma I have.
I infer you haven't yet bothered to investigate the "witnesses" topic (you have approved 0), care for a quick explanation ?
Sheer ignorance.
I don't know anything regarding that topic yet nor did It seemed to be a pressing matter for me yet, so I left it to the side and attended to other things.
Indeed, there's absolutely no pressing matter and there are so many things to learn about on steemit! In a few words, it resembles voting in the real world in the legislative elections
The little twist in steem is that your vote is weighted by your steem power, which gives a means to whales to influence the witnesses one way or another. In order to get their votes, witnesses create a "political program" and then advertise it in the hope that big whales will find out about it and show their support by approving that witness.
Fascinating.
Since none of the witnesses programs has either reached me or left enough of an impact on me to make me want to vote for them, I can consider continued ignorance as a good choice of action for the moment.
Thank you for the information, it reinforced my previous decision regarding this topic.
:-)
For what is worth, here's our latest update : https://busy.org/@lux-witness/i-will-never-let-you-down-witness-update