Do Real Men Have Feelings Too? [Pay It Forward, Round One, Day Three]
In Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus (one of the highest selling books of the 90's) John Gray posited that men and women relate to the world and each other in fundamentally different ways.
In my experience growing up in the Western world, boys and men are discouraged from showing vulnerability, emotion, or feelings as a rule, with the exception of anger, from a very early age (big boys don't cry) therefore the suppressed yet expressive language of emotion is kinda lost on many of us dudes - much to the consternation of our (female) partners and visa versa!
And no, hunger is not considered a "feeling" in this sense - we are talking about emotions - fear, sadness, joy, anger, excitement, grief - get the picture?
So here's my challenge if you dare - and this takes some balls if you are a man, and no less if you are a woman!
So if you are willing, tell us firstly if you are m/f, or any other chosen gender assignment, and then I'll give you multiple choice pairs to make it easier - answer any combo you like ;)
A) Which emotion do you feel most threatened by, or which do you have most trouble expressing?
B) What is your dominant emotion?A) On a scale of 1-10, how masculine do you consider yourself (1 being feminine, 10 being masculine)
B) And on a scale of 1-10, how heterosexual do you consider yourself (1 being gay, 5 being bi, 10 being hetero)Do you have any opinion, anecdote, joke, concern, question you would like to express regarding gender or the language of emotion?
Thanks for playing! Here are my answers:
a) anger (scares the crap outa me) and sadness (unable to cry in front of another person)
b) mmm. difficult one! I was gonna say being a miserable bastard, but in truth I think it's fear.I'd say a 7 and a 7 (yes, I am a SNAG)
My new Naturopathic doctor said "Dude, (okay, she didn't say 'dude') your Testosterone, T3 and Dhea levels are way lo-ow - ya need ta eat more meat boy" and then she spat a splooge of tobacco juice into a can by her desk with a pth-twang and eyed me all, like, this is America boy...
So I'm on hormone drugs now and (to all my sensitive English / vegetarian friends) I think it only fare to warn you I may be leaving the ranks of the SNAG (Sensitive New Age Guy) you thought you knew, and becoming a testosterone pumped, red blooded, hootenannyin' carnivore. No more the shrinking omnivorous quasi vegetarian. Arrrr!!!
Pay It Forward!
This article is a part of the Pay It Forward initiative by @dragosroua.
I received this assignment in turn via @ervin-lemark 's post here!
The best comment - in my opinion, irreverent or sensitive - will receive the award according to the protocol in the root post here!.
The time limit is 24 hours after the publishing of this article which is 23:15 GMT on Jan-11-2017.
... Right then, 24hrs are up so it's time to pay it forward
A learning experience for me on this platform, and an interesting little discussion between a smattering of sporting players (I think I might have made responding a little more complicated than necessary, but there ya go
And so the winner is....
well... @trevor.george - thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings.
1
a - I'm not threatened by any emotons really. I do try to hide anger a bit as other people find it threatening and it's usually not helpful to resolving problems.
b - happiness. i'm a naturally happy dude. If you met my wife you'd know why. Or wait.... maybe my dominant emotion is fear, for the same reason.....
2
a - I'm about 8
b - I'm a 10 here. Sorry if that sounds homaphobic, but it's not. i have no problem with gay men, or other straigh men, but I just really like women.
3
My sister used to say my dad never displays emotion. but to me he always did. He also never talked about his childhood with her, but to me he did, and now I know why he didn't discuss it with her. No need to give her nightmares.
I think men express emotions just as much as women do, but it is more subtle and you have to be paying attention to see it.
So if you have a man, pay close attention to the little things.
My wife can tell what emotions I'm feeling even when I'm in a different room. She often comes in and tells what I'm feeling, and it's often a great surprise to me at the time.
Just the other day she said I was feeling like taking her out to dinner, which I didn't even realize. I thought I was feeling I'd write something for Steemit.
So it just goes to show, sometimes our wives know more about us than we do,
Haha - clever wifey knows a good time is not about her man next door on the computer - nope, he's taking her out for dinner!
OK @trevor.george - seems you're the man in this event, the baton is yours
Let's Pay It Forward!
This article is a part of Pay It Forward initiative by @dragosroua.
I invite you to open yourself and share your thoughts, your feelings, your reactions, ... about the post above.
Everything counts! As long as it is inspiring, funny or sad, controversial or straight to the point, down to the ground or ethereal, ...
The best comment - in personal opinion of @ nik9 - will receive the award according to the rules. The time limit is 24 hours after the publishing of this article.
Pay It Forward - Round One, Day Three
Thank you very much for posting.
Upvoted, commented and resteemed.
My comment doesn't count but here it is anyways :)
I am a boy.
b) is stoicism an emotion? or maybe I am just cool :)
b) 9
The biggest surprise in regard to men feelings was when I started to dance, and, later on, to teach tango. In tango you need polarization: man has to lead, woman has to follow. If no one is doing his or her job, then there is no dance, no dynamic. It's dull.
So I met a lot of men who were actually afraid to lead and a lot of women who were very much resistant to following. On the surface, they all looked masculine and feminine and even in the social games they were playing their part ok. But once you put them in this specific context, of dancing tango, there is now way to avoid the problem anymore. It's clear as daylight.
Now here are the answers:
a) gratitude
b) enthusiasm
I am 8 and 10 on that scale. 8 because I do have emotions and I don't repress them.
As a tango teacher you must know both roles: leader and follower. It was always funny when I practiced with men, me playing the role of the follower, in order to check their abilities. A lot of fun looking at their faces.
Oh that's sooo true! Trying to get my wife to let me lead our wedding dance...
Me being in charge, just once.... hehehehe
:))
there seems to be a Tango conspiracy going on - maybe it was through your feed I stumbled on @raluca's Tango inspiration here
It might be, it might be :)
@dragosroua - so it looks like the payout for this post is $0.02 which I should transfer to your goodself, is that right? I'll see if I can figure that out (and then you can send me a postcard from somewhere exotic on the proceeds ;)
Hey, thanks and I appreciate it. But... according to the rules, since I'm the root poster, I cannot be taken into account as a winner for any other posts from this block. So you should send the proceeds (after the voting period is over and you already cashed it, which is not the case, as I see it, the voting period isn't over yet) to another person. :) I will send back what you sent to me.
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