Monkey Business
Today I had the fortune not to be at work. Instead, me and the little lady had day off together and had decided to do something fun and funky.
As is typical of Scotland, it was pishing down with rain.
Not to be deterred I asked the little lady what she wanted to do today. I expected the answer to be softplay or some such twoddle and merrily slurped my coffee whilst she pondered.
She looked out the window with some annoyance.
It's raining.
Why yes my darling. You have your Daddy's rapier-like wit!
What's a raper?
Ahem, let move on lass. Silly daddy talking rubbish as ever. What would you like to do today?
I want to see a monkey.
Phew. I aint a fan of zoos but anything that stopped her asking me what a raper was every five minutes for the next seven hours was a win-win for me. In no time at all we were out and pulling up outside a local mini zoo place that I knew had monkeys.
We traipsed through the botanic glasshouse section around a Coffee plant (which was flipping massive) and came upon the Capuchin monkey enclosure. My daughter excitedly ran up to the glass and watched them leap about in awe.
Being the devoted parent I whipped out my phone and checked the price of my crypto coins before hurriedly scrolling through my steemit feed.
I glanced up to make sure my daughter hadn't managed to break in and ride the monkeys around like little ponies.
A monkey was staring at me. He was a deep looking sort. I found myself transfixed by his big intelligent brown eyes. What are you trying to tell me oh wise one? I thought.
He raised a hand slowly, ever so slowly and turned the palm out to face me. I couldn't help it. I raised a hand palm out back at him. We were communicating! He lowered his palm to his side. Entranced, I mirrored his move.
He wrinkled his nose and squeezed out a fat cigar-like poo before lifting it and chewing on it thoughtfully.
Daddy why is that monkey eating his poo?
Obviously taking the fucking piss but I declined from saying that.
Good question lass, who knows. Monkeys are silly.
Millions of questions on monkey poo later we arrived home, tired but happy. Mummy had finished from work. My little lass bounded over to her.
Mummy! What's a raper?
The good lady looked at me quizzically.
I sighed. Some days you just can't win.
I love going to the Zoo and seeing the monkeys. It's always great to see where we as humans have our origins from. It's even important really, to be reminded that sometimes the leap in evolution isn't that big as we think. Eating poopoo is definitely a wrong thing to do, but I know a lot of people who talk shit on a daily basis.. Which isn't all that better in my opinion.
Another great read @meesterboom ! I've been really loving your blogs ever since I joined 3 months ago. Keep up the good work :)
Lol, you are right. I have known a lot of shit takers but not eaters hehe.
Cheers man, I really do appreciate the support! I love seeing animals close up and I genuinely thought there was a magical moment when the money was looking at me lol turns out he just needed a shit and a munch!
Maybe it truly was a magical moment and the monkey tried to speak to you, maybe even warn you. What could it be that he wanted to say? Is humanity going down because of all the garbage junk food we consume? Are we walking towards our own death believing all the shit our politcal leaders force down our throats? Dear god, this monkey is a prophet!
Or ya know, just your good ol' regular shit n munch
I am gonna go with prophet it makes everything click more easily in my head :0)
you're one sweet lovin hell of a dad minus the hell
I asked the same question
what's a raper? :P
and .. what? monkey eating poo - ewe ~~
Never ask that question. No good Will come of it!!! ;0)
On my opinion, I think that monkeys as most of animals are better free. We also can travel in wild places to see them more than puting them in cage... But.. World is world, and things goes like that
Definitely, all animals should be free if they can survive. I don't mind them caged as long as it's for the best of the animal and the preservation of the species via mating programs etc. Sadly, that's not always the case :(
Sure... In this way it's a good action. Was more talking about pure showing places, to make money with them jailed. Have a good sunday @jerrev
Finally caught up to another installment of Fun Times with Boom and the Little Lady haha! Because it is! Too bad Boom Jr wouldn't be able to tag team with his sis. At least there'll be a continuity of this father-child moments.
When I read soft play was involved, I was intrigued whether this was about another run-in with your juvenile rival. There are those days where you just can't win haha! Trust your daughter to get you in trouble with the missus every time you show off some verbal gymnastics that go above her head haha!
I guess the monkey eating its own shit is a great way to represent the day haha!
It was a great way to represent the day!
Thankfully I have been spared the face of with my junior nemesis. I suspect the little tyke might now be in school. Tormenting the teachers :0)
You are back!! Online again. I have missed your presence!
I've almost caught up with everything I missed, so I'll be fully back in a while. Come to think of it, I was always here. Watching, waiting, lurking. Like a honeybadger.
You have to watch for them honeybadgers!!
Either way, whether I watch or not, they simply... don't care.
Aahhh kids! they just drink in the knowledge and then spit it out again and the most inopportune of moments. lol
A pleasure to read as always sir.
Thank you mate! They really do. The thing I have noticed most is when they are playing in the room and seemingly not listening then hours later ask what you meant when you said something untoward!!!
Some days....
Your posts make me feel happy! They really do!
Heheh, I am really glad they do. Thank you for reading them! You are awesome!
@meesterboom -LOL. You have me in splits. As usual, you ended up creating a problem by using fancy words with the little lady and paid the price for it!! Raper !!! Hahaha, Funny.
Thank god your monkey mirroring moves stopped at the showing of palm and lowering your hand. Next thing would have been hard to mirror :)
Thanks for sharing this experience. Made my day! Upvoted full.
Regards,
You are right, sometimes I cuss myself when I start talking and she listens raptly then asks me what the heck I have just said and repeats it badly!
I am glad I wasnt hypnotised into following the monkeys every move! :OD
She was distracted by the monkeys...until she got back home to the scene of the crime, hee, I think your rapier wit failed you on this occasion LOL!!
It did! I did a similar thing today. I never learn, a car came in our garden and she said he looked like a great cat and absent mindedly I said, oh that's a boy cat darling. She said, but how do you know and before I could stop myself I said well, its the testicles you see.
Cue much, what are testicles. All the way to bedtime. What do you do with them etc etc etc yaaar
LOL!!! Any time my husband made such a faux pas when my daughter was a tot, he'd always push it off on me to explain. Like the time when she was about three and he brought her out shopping with him and had to take her in the men's room to use the potty. Of course there was a dude at the urinal and it was the first time she'd ever seen 'one'. She demanded to know why the man's 'wee wee' looked like that and if all boys had ones like that, to which my darling hubby claimed "Daddy's know almost everything about everything, except for that, only mommy's know about that".
Oh he is a clever one!! I might be taking a leaf out of his book. After all it is true, mummy's do know everything and are the wisest of all creatures!! :0D
Capuchin monkeys are the smartest monkeys in South America. And they are pretty violent.
I volunteered in an animal rescue centre in the Amazon and the alpha female hated women and blonde women in particular. I wasn't paying attention one day and she almost scalped me. Then on another day one of her boyfriends came after me and I had to hide behind one the male volunteers in the first cage bit (since there's mulitple cages so they can't escape).
Good times!
Maybe he was sending me a signal Capuchin Mafia style!!!
Next time I am there I will stand in front of him and eat the most massive shit he has ever seen to show him decisively who is the fecking boss!!!
Lol. That would be so hilarious. He wouldn't be happy.
Dam right!! He would be off looking for some blonde girl to intimidate!! Hehe!!
My 4 year old nephew said "what's up my butts?" to my sister-in-law last week. Where does it come from?
That's a new one on me!! Bet it's a song!
Wow, what a day for new vocabulary.
Yep, I think I will keep my mouth closed for a while
upvoted resteemed
Cheers lass!