I haven’t had a drink in 4 months (and I think I like it).
Most social events after 5pm involve alcohol of some sort. As a fully fledged adult, I feel like I’m offered alcohol at every turn, at every event I attend. Free wine, free beer, free cocktails, drink specials, shot flights at parties, you name it!
I like alcohol, but I don’t love it.
When I was younger I definitely had my fun, and have my stories, but as I’ve grown older it’s become less and less appealing. It might be that when I turned 27 I started getting hangovers even if I didn’t drink much and remembered to have a few glasses of water before bed. It might be that in the last few years I have become someone who likes to get up in the morning and go hiking or adventuring--feeling less than top notch and well rested isn’t fun. It also might be that I don’t like how easy it is to drink just a little bit too much at an event where you would rather be sharp and on your game. Overall, my reasons to drink have steadily declined.
Last December I had a bit too much wine at a friends house while baking Christmas cookies.
The next day I felt awful. It didn’t help that the previous night I had also cried and gotten sad and emotional in the midst of being tipsy. I had a serious reckoning with myself: what exactly was I getting out of drinking and why did I continue to do something I didn’t even enjoy that much?
I decided to quit drinking over the holidays just to see if I could.
I evaded Christmas drinks, New Years drinks, and January humdrums drinks. And then I kept going. Before I knew it, it had been 2 months since I’d had a drink--which I realized while out one night with some friends barhopping. I could have had a drink then, but instead I ordered a ginger ale and discovered that with a beverage in hand, that I could re-order regularly, I completely eliminated the awkwardness of being the only one without something to drink.
Flash foward to today, and it’s been over 4 months since I stopped drinking.
I’m not intentionally making the decision to not drink again ever. It’s just that I haven’t felt the need, or the desire to do so in months. When I do drink I love dry hard cider, there is no better beverage. However, even now with some amazing sample ciders courtesy of a tour at Seattle Cider Co. in my fridge I just don’t feel the urge to drink. I will if I do, but I haven’t.
I made a pact with myself when I first started drinking: never drink in order to feel the confidence to do something that I wouldn’t do sober.
I’ve done some crazy things while under the influence, but I’ve never drank to get up my courage to do something. Similarly, I don’t drink when I’m sad or to get through something. I’ve never used alcohol, except in a recreational sense.
Most of the time when folks stop drinking there is a reason. I don’t have one. It just feels natural.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I don’t have my guilty pleasures. I have always enjoyed smoking weed--as a Type A artist with occasional anxiety, marijuana has helped me out in a lot of ways. In college when I was working 2 jobs, stage managing a show, and taking 27 credits (yes, I know, what was I thinking?), I sometimes think that smoking a bowl was the only thing that allowed my brain to relax enough at night for me to fall asleep and get a good night’s rest. While everyone has a different experience, marijuana actually helps me function, relax, and have fun. Alcohol slows me down.
I also have a family history of alcoholism that I have to constantly monitor.
I grew up knowing that my Mom lost her little sister when she was 21 to alcoholism. For a variety of reasons, my aunt wasn’t able to find peace in this world except through liquor and she lost herself to the substance. My Dad also has struggled with substance abuse and gave up drinking when I was 4 to make a better life for our family (I am so proud of him for that--he’s never had a drop sense, even on a special occasion). I have always known it would break my family’s heart if I were to develop a substance abuse issue, and I’ve also always known that I’m genetically predisposed to do so.
There really is no point to this article, perhaps I should have said that up front. ;)
I don’t plan on “quitting” drinking entirely, but I’m really surprised at how easily I’ve given it up. I don’t notice its absence, and I don’t feel a need or desire to go have a beer. Just tonight I was at an event with some lovely free drink options and I found myself ordering ginger ale because I wanted it more than liquor. I guess I’m saying that it’s been extremely liberating to remove myself from alcohol--I’ve found that not only does life go on without a drink in my hand--it’s actually totally awesome and I still have a lot of fun.
Why do you think so many of our social interactions are fueled by drinking? What is the balance you have found between sobriety and fun? Would love to know your thoughts!
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it's been 2 years for me not intentionally but it just sort of happened. I personally have a high tolerance no matter how long of an abstinence stretch but I was never a person who drank our of peer pressure anyway. I did have a yearly baileys ritual where I would get a big bottle each Yule/x-mas and it was mine mine mine. Bur since I went vegan 10years ago that no longer was an option and I am not much of a beer or wine person ... it just sort of fiddled out ... at least for now ...
Thanks for adding your story into this! I like that you also just haven’t been drinking...not because you are intentionally saying ‘no’, but just because you don’t want to...I’m a person who has a hard time staying away from anything I tell myself I can’t have...so it’s nice to be able to find that balance. Thanks again for reading and responding.
I don't regularly consume alcohol. Once in a way I'd have a beer or a glass of wine. Just like you, I was surprised to see I did not miss it. Then I realized it was more of a social habit. When I got sick, I gave up smoking and drinking within the same day.
After getting a heart attack, alcohol is definitely a no-no! Luckily there is nonalcoholic beer. ;0)
Oh wow, so interesting to hear your perspective and story @lymepoet! I definitely share the experience of being surprised at realizing I don’t miss it the way I thought I would...and ginger beer really does the trick for me, it’s delicious, haha.
and I never touch alcohol or beer.. 🤣🤣👍🏽
Nice! Thanks @orcheva!
thats not good for you..trust me.. :)
There is always a point where any recreation becomes overindulgent. And I do empathize; my family has a history of alcoholism and compulsive behavior.
Thank you for sharing--finding a balance while also knowing where you come from is real important. :)
I think that your perspective here on drinking is an important one yet rarely written about. We all know the more extreme stories of abstinence and indulgence but hearing about a lack of interest based on the simple desire to feel good, to feel whole and to have access to your best self is so refreshing and I'm not sure I've ever heard anyone else talk about this except myself! Maybe this is why I like this piece - I agree ;-). I do drink but could take it or leave it and always favor the clarity of self over this particular recreation.
Thank you so much for reading and responding to this! Glad to know I’m not alone. Feeling whole, and healthy, and awesome every morning is pretty invaluable in my book...and the “clarity of self” as you put it is also wonderful. Thanks for the support!
amen to that!
Because many of us are socially awkward when sober? :) Do you think that's our natural state of being?
I personally enjoy the taste of good beer and red wine, and although I stopped getting seriously drunk long time ago, I like being merry and a bit tipsy from time to time :)
That said, kudos to you for staying away from booze!
Haha, ya, that’s probably true. It definitely relaxes folks (as someone who does fundraising, I’ve learned to never throw an event without some delicious beverages, haha).
I don’t think I’ll never drink again--as you say it’s fun to be “merry and a bit tipsy” from time to time. Also, I live in the PNW where there is way too much amazing beer and cider flowing to be entirely permanently sober. This is more of an experiment that has me thinking about when/why I’m drinking! Appreciate you reading and responding and supporting. See you around. :) Cheers!
P.S. I love your photos -- your blog is super stunning. I’ve started a new group for multidisciplinary artists, @TheNewAlchemists, and I’d love to have you pop over into our Discord, there’s a really supportive community of great artists forming: https://discord.gg/SGfXau
I think this is super. You do not need alcohol. I think I have a very similar story to you. In the most recent beer I drink I know I felt so shitty. After a bit of fun inside the middle of a nice chat with my friends I'm sleepy. After that, the conversation started to squeeze me. I wanted to go to sleep. The next days I felt the same again. The beer was just bringing sleep. it is obvious that there is no benefit afterwards. I was just asleep. That means wasting the day for me. I think it's been 3 months since then. I do not ever want to. maybe I fit in some environments courtesy. but not like before. my body reacts negatively to alcohol.
Yesss...I know that exact feeling...especially the part where you start to feel physically not great...but everyone else is still having fun and you’re just ready to lay down for the night and be done. Kudos to you for sticking to it, and happy to know I’m not alone. <3
ah yes! exactly :) I'm glad to hear that I'm not alone: D
do what you love. And love what you doBtw, i just follow u on IG.. 😃
Thank you!! :) Happy to have more IG followers--and that’s my motto and I’m stickin’ to it. :)
Do u dont follow me back. 😭
I've definitely had similar relationship with marijuana but still enjoy a few beers a week as well :)
I would expect no less from another Pacific Northwester. I don’t think I could ever say never to the perfectly done craft brew.
the most delicious taste of red wine.
It can be oh so good!
yeah...lily
This is very familiar to me. I have spent much of my 20s drunk. Now, in my mid 40s, I have become the dude who gets a coke or tea or coffee. In science fiction conventions, much of the socializing tends to take place at the bar. Last year, at worldcon, I did my own counter programming to that by setting up meets with people at the cafe. The evening may be a little less fun, but the next morning is so much nicer.
Oh how I feel you on so much socializing taking place around the bar. I like your cafe method, ha, and yes to feeling great the next day and ready to conquer the world(con). :) Thanks for the support here!