The No-Bones-Just-Stuff Ninja of the Night

in #life4 years ago (edited)

It was 3am.

I padded barefoot downstairs, bleary eyed and thirsty, my sights set on a cool glass of water.

My toes curled at the coldness of the wooden floor and I was reminded that my super soft, warm slippers were down here as well, waiting for me in the doorway of the dining room.

This is when it happened.

I took the sharp left that would take me into the dining room. I flicked on the light.

My slippers were right in front of me.

I was so close....

As my foot came in at speed, and at the perfect angle to slip right into my slippers, my whole body suddenly sprang to life with a burst of 6th sense acuity.

I jerked my head down.

And zeroed in on the spot where my foot would land like the Terminator locking on his target.

There it was.

Cold, slimy, wet, plump and juicy...

Wait, scratch juicy.

There, sprawling in my beautiful soft slipper, was the longest, fattest slug I have ever seen in my life.

A browny, black lump of no-bones-just-stuff practically bathing in the scent of my feet.

He looked at me.

No, he didn't just look at me. He smirked at me.

He kinda propped himself up on his elbows, or at least, where his elbows would be if he had any, as if to say,

Hey girl. Why don't you go ahead and put your slipper on?

Do it, I dare you.... I double dare you

My foot screeched to a halt, coming to a stop just at the point of connection.

In this millisecond, Slugdude had the advantage, and he took it, transferring slime and coldness to the ball of my foot like he was giving me a sarcastic high five.

I recoiled in horror, stumbling backwards in retreat until my back was against the wall. I began to shudder uncontrollably and cried out the only appropriate word in a situation like this:

"EEEEAHHHHHOOOOHHHHHUUURRRRGHGHHHHHHUGNNUGUGEEEWWWWW".

Slugdude looked calmly on.

Yeah that's right. That's my M*****F**** name, honey. Say. My. Name.

Then, with disgust, he dismissed me and started to move on.

Like a slime-faced, cold-hearted ninja of the night.

My life will never be the same.


Bless you giphy.com

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Hey @johleen, I shared this post on my Look What I Found! collection of interesting articles. I hope you like it. https://steemit.com/curating/@stortebeker/look-what-i-found

Oh fabulous!! Thanks very much!

Ahaha! Yet again, I have a similar story in store, but with a different slimy critter. It's the second time you posted ahead of me haha! I must say it's such a delight to hear stories like this from you :D Such profound experiences can only happen in the dead of knight. I'm sure you're right when you said that your life will never the same haha!

Haha! How funny!

We are clearly leading quite similar lives when it comes to tales we have to tell!!!

Thank you my friend!

Gah! So that's why some people call me Johleen some times! I haven't thought much about it until now. It seems that I am the Filipino Johleen after all.

Hahahaha!!! It all becomes clear!!

That's just heinous. I live in the land of slugs (Pacific Northwest) and those things are just nasteeeeeeee. Well told!

Ah so you feel my pain!!

Heinous is the perfect word....

Thanks!

I Love your writing style. This is both hilarious and conveys how grossed out you were lol

Haha! Thanks I'm glad you enjoyed it!

"EEEEAHHHHHOOOOHHHHHUUURRRRGHGHHHHHHUGNNUGUGEEEWWWWW" This is the noise I made when I met the sludge boy, maybe he is related to sludge dude but maybe it's the same guy as it was some years ago now that I encountered sludge boy.

oh my gosh, I think it's the same slug. Only this slug could possibly bring about these screams of anguish.

His years of tyranny must end!!

Your ability to tell a story is uncanny, nice one here, i love it.

Eeeeeewwwwwwweedrrkeewwww

Burn the slippers. Better yet, burn your feet too. This heresy cannot be allowed to stand

Right?! Some treacherous mis-doings have been transpiring. Slug anarchy!

Indeed! Maybe there are more, just waiting...

EEEEWWWWUOOOGOGOGOOHHNNNNGHHHH

Oh see, now you've set me off again!

ooooh... now here's the silver lining.... you've just created me my DJ name!

JoJo Slugfoot.

oh yeeeaaaaahhh. Badasssssss.

I'm sorry for you losing a nice pair of slippers in such a horrible way. I know, slug-slime is almost impossible to get rid of. :-(

Ah well, I'm sure it's for the best... :)

Good, Interesting

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