The Glorious Hamster Wheel

This morning marked somewhat of an epiphany.

It was the day of my triumphant return to the gym. And as I had promised myself, I leapt out of bed at 5.45am, guns a-blazing.*

*(I crawled out of bed and wondered what the hell I was doing.)

A mere half an hour later, I breezed through the door of my local gymnasium, and gave the receptionist a nod and smile that said,

Yes, yes I am one of those ladies that's here at the gym at 6am.

I perhaps gave myself away a little when I was unable to get through the swing gates because I didn't know which way to put the card in though.

No matter.

Anyone can make a mistake at sparrow's fart in the morning after only half a cup of coffee.

A quick trip to the locker room to stash my bag and I was ready to go.

I determined not to be put off in the face of all that jazzy neon, second skin, technologically advanced sweat-wicking gym gear that my fellow early birds were wearing, and instead embrace my old faded joggers, unnecessarily pink trainers and bobbly, stretched vest that dates back to the last millennia.

I'm bringing vintage cool to the gym.

I should be wearing shades.

I plug in my earphones and get on the treadmill. Actually, on closer inspection, it wasn't a treadmill.

It was a hamster wheel.

Well I'll be monkey's uncle!

It's not actually a complete wheel, more like a curved bridge. But yes, it's not electric - you push the thing round with your feet (and legs etc.)

I dubiously started to push it round, half wondering why on earth I'm paying through the nose to get on a hamster wheel.

Push, Push, wheely, wheely, spin, spin.....

A few minutes passed and something happened.

I got it!

Well, actually I still didn't really get it, but man was I starting to enjoy myself. Who woulda thought that all this time, the hamster had it so good?

This thing was glorious!

It was a masterpiece of cardiovascular resistance engineering!

It was the mother load of gym equipment!

The lowly hamster wheel was bringing me to ecstatic heights quite inappropriate for an early morning at the gym.

I tried to play it cool, but my inner child was shouting Haha! I'm on a hamster wheel! Look at meeeee! Weeeeeeee!

I went faster. I went slower.

I strode, I scurried.

I grinned stupidly at the guy on the bike next to me.

He ignored me.

No matter.

I knew in my heart of hearts he was rooting for me. He knew I was in the middle of my first hamster wheel experience.

And with some motivational, life busting speeches in my bluetooth earbuds, nothing could take away my childish glee right now .

Wow, I thought, catching my breath.

I get it.

I get why people get out of bed to come here every morning.

It's the goddamn hamster wheel.

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Bless you giphy.com

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