Ease depression with this one simple trick...
Hey team,
A really quick post from me. I know many of you follow a long with me for food, contests and fitness related stuff. But I've also posted a couple of bits and bobs about mental health in my time here on Steemit. That's what I want to jump back in to today.
A small number of you may have read my #introduceyourself post when I first joined a few months ago. If you haven't, give it a read HERE and get to know who Coach Ben is just a little bit better. There I talk about my battles with depression and not feeling good enough. And I want to share a little something I've learned through those difficulties with you today.
Give yourself permission to be sad
This one trick has helped me through a lot of difficult times. It's not going to solve anything, and it's not going to make you feel suddenly happy when times are hard. But giving yourself permission to be sad, is important - it helps.
For anyone who has ever suffered depression or anxiety, or just felt they weren't good enough, this trick will help. When you are depressed you feel down on yourself and who you are - you feel that you should not be depressed or should be in some way able to fight the depression and that because you can't, you are not good enough.
Millions of people have depression not because their life is bad or they have something to be sad about. Depression can affect people from every walk of life, in every possible situation. I have a great family, no drama, a fiance, a stable job, my own house and enough money to buy and do the things I want - yet I still get depression often. I used to feel like a fraud in some way because I had depression but had nothing to be depressed about.
But you know what?
If you have depression, or anxiety or are struggling with any other kind of mental health - it's OK. It's OK to be sad, scared, upset, struggling. You don't need a reason - depression can affect anyone at anytime.
As soon as I gave myself permission to feel as I felt, I stopped beating myself up for feeling that way. I stopped feeling pathetic and worthless for feeling that way. It was a load off my mind. When you're suffering with depression, you need as much pressure taken off as possible - that includes pressure you put on yourself to try and be happy.
Give yourself permission to be sad.
You do not have permission to give up
I feel there is a difference here between giving yourself permission to feel sad and giving yourself permission to give up. The idea that you're giving yourself permission to feel crappy is a way to take your own pressure off yourself. What it should not be is a decision to give up completely.
For anyone who have experienced mental health problems, you will probably know what I mean by the downward spiral. You feel pretty down, then start not going outside as much, or eating as well. Soon you stop drinking less water and not sleeping and things get worse and worse and you feel worse and worse. If you give yourself permission to just give up completely - that's not constructive.
Give yourself permission to feel down is different. Tell yourself it's OK to feel as you do. Your feelings are valid, you are valid, and you always will be. But never give up!
Thanks for taking the time to read this little ramble from me,
Yours in health,
Ben
Beautiful .. well done, wonderful work
Great post from you
Thanks for sharing
I can relate. A went through a rough patch a couple years back where every morning I sobbed. I felt hopeless. No major reason why, just really felt like crying.
Eventually my mornings got better and I didn’t feel like crying. It was important for me to let my feelings and emotions out, even if I didn’t know why I was feeling them. I gave in but not up!
Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for the great insight @kiristin, it can be hard to talk about, even through a keyboard. Feeling the feelings but not giving up to the feelings is powerful. Knowing that it's OK to feel whatever you're feeling can really help you feel less worthless.
Thanks for commenting <3
Thanks for the message. I for one have avoided or Denied the “negative” feelings but realize this approach is quite toxic as they don’t go away and get stored in the body only to emerge as something else later on, often more damaging than the initial feeling. It can be tough to emote and express the messier pieces of ourselves but I am SLOWLY learning how to do this. I still fall back into denial, but the more I try the easier it is to give myself permission to feel whatever I need to. Deep breathing always helps.
Thanks again for sharing .
A really well considered comment @mountainjewel. I am sure that holding in negative emotion too much, and fighting it, can become very overwhelming. Finding positive ways to release that stress and emotion is really important! Like the deep breathing you mention.
Thanks for the comment :)
Thanks for this. Such a big help. I know I'm not alone.
You're right @cookntell, sometimes just knowing that you're not abnormal, that you're not alone, and that lots of people feel the same can really help. You are unique as a person but you are not alone <3
Thank you so much for this @healthsquared That is absolutely true. It's good to know you have people around you feeling the same. It's as if you belong.
You belong in this world! :D
I have a great family, 2 kids, a stable job, my own house and enough money to buy / do the things I want. I also often feel down, sad and think i am not good enough, but i cant tell if i have depression.
The word 'depression' is a label. It's useful for us to use the word so that we can quickly communicate some of what we're feeling to other people - but in truth it's a sliding scale and many people experience it differently.
I wouldn't be quick to label yourself as having depression because it puts your emotions in a box when they are free and different day to day and person to person. Give yourself permission to feel whatever it is you are feeling, don't worry about what it is, but know that it's OK not to be perfect or feel perfect <3
Thank you for this <3 it was very needed for me right now lol. It's awful how we usually feel bad for feeling bad, and that way we feel double bad. It happens to me all the time. I feel guilty, weak, etc. And it's only a part of the process, there's no need to make it worse like that. But hey, depression messes a lot with our brain and it's hard to see what's real.
It's completely illogical that we should feel bad about feeling bad - but I think most of us experience this. The brain works in strange ways and it's important to try and find ways to not beat yourself up. Thanks for the comment :)
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